Humor

Trump presented a longer list of "bad guys" which oddly included "Jesus". When asked about this, Trump noted, "All these people think Jesus is a good guy, well he's not, trust me. He creates zombies by bringing dead guys back to life, how evil is that?"

"The best way to fight fire is with fire," NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre explained. "So we are also advocating that fire departments around the country replace the water hoses on their firetrucks with flamethrowers."

Trump stated, "Tomorrow I will sign an Executive Order that will put an end to crimes against women. My Executive Order will officially and legally, re-classify women as recreational equipment."

When asked if he truly intends to use this "weak bladder" strategy to avoid answering questions in his interview with Mueller, even to the degree of wetting his own pants, Trump just responded, "Depends."

Wearing Ivanka's bra, Trump frantically ran through the White House screaming "Traitor!" at a painting of Abraham Lincoln and yelled "You stole my fries!" at a painting of William Howard Taft.

2017 was like being stuck on a cruise ship piloted by a coke-addicted baboon but we made it to 2018! As is our annual tradition, we've assembled our original, satirical graphics from throughout the year. Enjoy!

This time zone change will mean that when it is 8:00 pm CST in the rest of the state, it will be 1817 in the most conservative parts of the state.

"Of course this isn't approving of slavery! It simply allows those who have to pay the expenses of slavery to deduct those costs, it doesn't mean we're giving them a gold star to encourage them to continue, we're just giving them a great deal of money," Graham explained as he looked at his shoes.

There were many things to feel thankful for this year in spite or even because of the presidential turkey that should not be pardoned.

Trump reacted to being barred from re-entering the U.S. under his extreme vetting plan, "That Executive Order is only supposed to keep hateful extremists out of America! Okay, but I'm white so why is it being used against me?!"