Arts and Entertainment

Asked to comment, ISIS officials released a statement calling for the death of all infidels and thanking the cable news stations for helping to create a valuable synergy that will be great for all of their bottom lines for many years to come.

Some folks have proposed that you can tell a lot about candidates by which tv shows are their favorites. So with that in mind, consider the names of the tv shows that each of them have listed as their favorites.

"By removing the need for doctors to be licensed, we could get all kinds of new and exciting approaches in medicine! Why not let a barista do liposuction? A jackhammer operator give a colonoscopy? Or a clown be a brain surgeon?"

Don't be afraid, these sounds of music and terror can't hurt you...unless they're coming from upstairs in your house!!! Quick, get out, it may be the ghost of Ben Carson...who sounds exactly like Ben Carson not being a ghost, "I'm going to scare you. Honestly. Boo. There you go. Now you've been scared."

"I'm proud to be a Democrat where at least I can fistbump. And I won't forget the Repubs who've tried, to elect a douche named Trump."

Responding to the record flooding that has gripped South Carolina through torrential rains, the NRA's new think tank proposed that the only way to stop flooding from a bad storm, is with flooding from a good storm.

"The folks at Fox News have been fantastic, it's really a great fit for me," Satan stated. "I think we're on the same page which makes working with them seamless."

Trump explained, "See, this way you get rid of the stress employees have to deal with, getting up the courage to ask for raises and companies don't have to deal with rising costs of labor. It's a win-win!"

It was a dark and stormy night as two gay novelists were driving through Kentucky on their way to New York, to get married...

For many people whose childhood hobbies didn't include playing the drums with their head, it's been hard to understand why so many people in the GOP are supporting such candidates as Donald Trump and Ben Carson.