"Okay, I'm the Beast From the Abyss, the man of sin, the son of perdition but I am not a witch and the Democrats' impeachment is a witch hunt," Trump declared as his hair smoldered from Satan's fiery chuckles.
This theory may have had its origin as an old wives' (or old grandfathers') tale but perhaps there is also a scientific basis for this...that you can't trust a man with thin lips. Let alone, a politician.
I need your help because my ideas are drying up. This is what I have so far and I've thought of about a dozen more to add that I can think of including the SCOTUS judges, and usual rabble...
In the cases where "Tea Party Republican" softball parents get what they want but their daughter's lack of skills lead to losses, they console their daughters that they did everything right and someone else is to blame (Obama?).
My father was Noel Purcell, Actor, Comedian and Freeman of the City of Dublin. I do want to share the real man behind the Stage and Screen star, his pride in his work, his incredible humility for all his success but most of all, I want to show him as MY DAD!
Trump expressed that he was very excited about reaching out to women, saying that they have actually been asking for it. "I get it, they've been saying 'no' in the polls but I know women, they really means 'yes'."
Wearing Ivanka's bra, Trump frantically ran through the White House screaming "Traitor!" at a painting of Abraham Lincoln and yelled "You stole my fries!" at a painting of William Howard Taft.
Dershowitz went on to suggest that it may have been Columbia drug dealers who actually tried to bribe Ukraine to smear Biden and that Mr. Trump suspects that the real perpetrator was a lying con man with a lot of money so he has been spending a great deal of time at golf courses to "find the real extorter".
Captain Trump explained, "Yes, we hit an iceberg that had illegally immigrated into this part of the ocean to endanger our lives but because a ship captained by Trump is so powerful, it's the iceberg that's now sinking, not us."
Step right up! Try Republican Ryan's Remarkable Remedy! It's just the thing for what ails ya! One taste of this and whatever you were concerned about before will become the least of your worries!