Step right up! Try Republican Ryan's Remarkable Remedy! It's just the thing for what ails ya! One taste of this and whatever you were concerned about before will become the least of your worries!
"I think he did himself a lot of good last night when he was sleeping, no gaffes, projecting an image of being relaxed and peaceful, we'll see a turn around in the polls if he keeps sleeping like this," boasted New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie.
"By mandating that all travelers fully expose themselves, we will be providing an atmosphere of humility and vulnerability that will naturally translate into a more civil and entertaining experience, especially for our management staff."
Confronted by reporters that this didn't make any sense in the rest of his Putin-supporting/America bashing statement, Trump replied, "It's not surprising that people in the fake news have so much hate in them, even for pudding. Pudding doesn't make sense? It's not supposed to make sense, it's just supposed to taste good and that's why I be loving pudding,"
"It sure beats having Hillary as President," said Senator Jeff Sessions while wading knee deep through the bloody carnage of tens of thousands of dismembered Alabama citizens. "Can you imagine what her liberal policies would do to the people of this country?!"
We would suggest to the Republican Party that they have their own rich history of leaders that have the kind of views and reputation they are trying to characterize by using the image of Adolf Hitler.
TRUMP: "Dear wall, I'm praying that you turn all the media into something...I don't know, salt, lepers, hey what about, snakes! With tattoos that say, 'I love Fake News!' but with the heart sign for 'love', you know?"
  I could tell my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio. ~Rodney Dangerfield   I wanna talk a little nostalgia in this post. Specifically, the toys we loved as children. I'm sure almost all of us have...
No one likes celebrating a day to scare people like Republicans! So we thank Republican politicians for taking pictures of themselves in their Halloween costumes and sharing them with us.
According to sources close to Trump, he will spend the rest of his time in office, immersed in a virtual reality where all Americans look at him with love and trust and his hands appear much bigger.