• Facebook
  • Twitter
AdLib On April - 1 - 2016

Trump Bed

Acknowledging his very high negatives with women voters, Donald Trump announced that he will be rolling out a new outreach effort intended to soften his image with women voters and attract more to support his campaign for President.

Titled, “Get in Bed with The Donald”, this multifaceted campaign will include personal interviews with Trump in which he will share what he finds most attractive in women, a social media blitz of images displaying his favorite women’s purses and shoes, favorite recipes and home schooling tips and a “beauty contest” of current female Trump supporters.

The centerpiece of this campaign-inside-a-campaign is a contest for women to tweet to him what they find most attractive about “The Donald” and the winner, who will be handpicked by him, will be flown out to the GOP Convention in Cleveland to become Trump’s escort throughout the convention.

Trump expressed that he was very excited about reaching out to women, saying that they have been asking for it. “I get it, they’ve been saying ‘no’ in the polls but I know women, it really means ‘yes’. I know they want to hear me say this before they’ll be with me so I’ll say it. I love women, no one loves women more than me and deep down, they know it, believe me, they know it. I care about all of the things women care about, I believe in marriage, if I didn’t, why would I get married three times?  I believe in how smart they are, how really smart they are, like men. They know the value of a dollar, why do you think Melania is with me? I believe in how creative they are, the way they cook and decorate a house, how they can wear stiletto heels in bed and give up careers to stay at home to take care of the kids. You know, they blow me away, completely, that’s the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of women, being blown away.”

Trump expressed complete confidence that aided by this campaign, he would be able to turn around women and have them in the position that would allow him to stay on top.

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

11 Responses so far.

Click here to leave a comment
  1. monicaangela says:

    I am so glad you said happy April Fools Day! I was about to regurgitate right before I read that sentence.

    One true thing in your article is the statement about Melania realizing the value of a dollar, and taking advantage of that situation. That part has to be accurate, I can’t think of any other reason she would be with him. Trump is physically older but remains mentally infantile. She’ll be changing diapers soon if she doesn’t hurry and get that divorce. Let’s hope this primary/election is over soon, and that Trump defeated will return to his life of sleazy deals and bankruptcies.

    Thanks for the article AdLib, I usually enjoy your humor, but the idea of Trump in bed just would not allow me to enjoy concentrate this time. Yuk! LOL! 😀

    • AdLib says:

      Monica, I find Melania very distasteful for being happily bought and agreeable to being a possession of such a horrible and disgusting excuse of a human being. IMO, she is poorer as a human being and with regard to character than any women not married to Drumpf.

      I had to mentally hold my nose as I wrote this parody, thinking of getting in bed with Drumpf could be considered torture under the Geneva Convention.

  2. gyp46 says:

    I’m going to be 70 this year, like Trump, and in my eyes I am still a hunk, even though the mirror says different!! Trump seems to have the same problem, leaving the Washington Post sit-down with the editorial board a week or so ago, walking out he tried working his ‘old magic’ on a lady who obviously tweaked his machismo, he leaned in and whispered, ‘beautiful’ into her ear. This sorta points at his problem with women, he thinks he’s irresistible and buddy you aren’t!!

    • AdLib says:

      Gyp46, I think Trump lives in so much of a bubble that he still thinks he looks like he’s in his 20’s. As KT mentioned below, he has no clue that if he hadn’t inherited the basis for all his wealth just by being born, had he been born to a poor janitor named Drumpf, shallow gold digging models like Melania would look past him like he didn’t even exist.

      Drumpf has made “winning” so important to his identity, it is and will be so sweet to see him being forced to be a loser in the GOP race, he will be devastated and never be able to live it down.

      Tomorrow may be the last nail in the coffin, if he loses in WI, depending on how many delegates he does or doesn’t get, it may become mathematically impossible for him to win the nom outright which means the Repub Elite will make sure he’s a loser at the convention. Sweet indeed!

      • gyp46 says:

        NO NO NO, he must be whipped by a woman, and that means he must get the go ahead from the pubbers, nothing will bring him down like getting his butt kicked by Hillary!!

        • AdLib says:

          gyp46, I’m with you on that, my wish would be for him to be the Repub nom and lose on the biggest stage to the Dem (who may be a woman). The yuuge humiliation would be so enjoyable.

          However, I don’t know that he will win enough delegates to take it outright and if it goes to a contested convention, The RNC may do all it can to make sure he isn’t their nom.

          In that case, not only is he a loser but if his supporters turn on the GOP because of that, they and he could be even bigger losers in Nov..

          • gyp46 says:

            Been away for a few days, much has happened I see. Your point is good, and the one thing I missed was that the Bernie supporters in Wisconsin seemed to ‘not’ have down voted and that allowed a huge bigot to be placed on that state’s supreme court, one who says women are murderers if they choose to use their right of choice, this really disturbs me that some would claim the ‘progressive’ mantle then allow such a despicable ending, Bernie voters and Hillary voters can not refuse to vote if their person ends up losing the nomination, it is unthinkable this time round, we must be in control of the WH and the SCOTUS, that means the Senate also!! WAKE UP PEOPLE!!

    • Well, being a billionaire makes a difference. Some women are just in it for the money. Where Trump is wrong, is that he thinks all women are like that.

      • gyp46 says:

        Gotta wonder about Milania’s eyes while in bed with this old white guy. I know from experience the sight is not as pleasant as it used to be!!

  3. Kalima says:

    Not even if you were the last man on earth, Donald!

    Would someone please hold my hair while I throw up?

    It is of course quite possible that we could hear all this coming out of his mouth if someone doesn’t take his batteries out soon. Today’s April Fool’s could be tomorrow’s headlines.

    • AdLib says:

      Kalima, it seems to me that Trump is sexually assaulting himself, that is, he’s battering his campaign through with his sexist attacks and insults of women.

      Maybe Trump should get a restraining order against himself? We know he likes suing, it’s time he sued himself and completed the farce trifecta.

Leave your Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Back to top
PlanetPOV Tweets
Ongoing Stories