Trump Bed

Acknowledging his very high negatives with women voters, Donald Trump announced that he will be rolling out a new outreach effort intended to soften his image with women voters and attract more to support his campaign for President.

Titled, “Get in Bed with The Donald”, this multifaceted campaign will include personal interviews with Trump in which he will share what he finds most attractive in women, a social media blitz of images displaying his favorite women’s purses and shoes, favorite recipes and home schooling tips and a “beauty contest” of current female Trump supporters.

The centerpiece of this campaign-inside-a-campaign is a contest for women to tweet to him what they find most attractive about “The Donald” and the winner, who will be handpicked by him, will be flown out to the GOP Convention in Cleveland to become Trump’s escort throughout the convention.

Trump expressed that he was very excited about reaching out to women, saying that they have been asking for it. “I get it, they’ve been saying ‘no’ in the polls but I know women, it really means ‘yes’. I know they want to hear me say this before they’ll be with me so I’ll say it. I love women, no one loves women more than me and deep down, they know it, believe me, they know it. I care about all of the things women care about, I believe in marriage, if I didn’t, why would I get married three times?  I believe in how smart they are, how really smart they are, like men. They know the value of a dollar, why do you think Melania is with me? I believe in how creative they are, the way they cook and decorate a house, how they can wear stiletto heels in bed and give up careers to stay at home to take care of the kids. You know, they blow me away, completely, that’s the first thing that comes to my mind when I think of women, being blown away.”

Trump expressed complete confidence that aided by this campaign, he would be able to turn around women and have them in the position that would allow him to stay on top.

Happy April Fool’s Day!

Leave a Comment

Please Login to comment
3 Comment threads
8 Thread replies
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
5 Comment authors
AdLibKillgoreTroutmonicaangelagyp46Kalima Recent comment authors
newest oldest most voted
Notify of

I am so glad you said happy April Fools Day! I was about to regurgitate right before I read that sentence.

One true thing in your article is the statement about Melania realizing the value of a dollar, and taking advantage of that situation. That part has to be accurate, I can’t think of any other reason she would be with him. Trump is physically older but remains mentally infantile. She’ll be changing diapers soon if she doesn’t hurry and get that divorce. Let’s hope this primary/election is over soon, and that Trump defeated will return to his life of sleazy deals and bankruptcies.

Thanks for the article AdLib, I usually enjoy your humor, but the idea of Trump in bed just would not allow me to enjoy concentrate this time. Yuk! LOL! 😀


I’m going to be 70 this year, like Trump, and in my eyes I am still a hunk, even though the mirror says different!! Trump seems to have the same problem, leaving the Washington Post sit-down with the editorial board a week or so ago, walking out he tried working his ‘old magic’ on a lady who obviously tweaked his machismo, he leaned in and whispered, ‘beautiful’ into her ear. This sorta points at his problem with women, he thinks he’s irresistible and buddy you aren’t!!


Well, being a billionaire makes a difference. Some women are just in it for the money. Where Trump is wrong, is that he thinks all women are like that.


Gotta wonder about Milania’s eyes while in bed with this old white guy. I know from experience the sight is not as pleasant as it used to be!!


Not even if you were the last man on earth, Donald!

Would someone please hold my hair while I throw up?

It is of course quite possible that we could hear all this coming out of his mouth if someone doesn’t take his batteries out soon. Today’s April Fool’s could be tomorrow’s headlines.