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AdLib On September - 24 - 2015

Satan on Fox

Pope Francis has been making big news during his visit to the U.S., promoting concern for the poor, Climate Change and immigrants.  Some Republicans claim that The Pope’s urging Congress to follow the Golden Rule and show compassion towards others is proof of a biased liberal agenda.

Congressman Paul Gosar (R-AZ) announced his boycott of the Pope’s address to Congress today by explaining, “When the Pope chooses to act and talk like a leftist politician, then he can expect to be treated like one.” Gosar added that if Jesus ever returns and also talks like a leftist politician, supporting the poor, peace and opposing the money changers, he’d have no other choice as a true Christian than to boycott his speeches as well and go on Fox News to crucify him.

As for Fox News, they have announced that due to the liberally slanted views expressed by the Pope, in pursuit of providing the “fair and balanced” coverage they’re known for, Fox News has hired Satan to provide commentary for them on The Pope’s visit.

“The folks at Fox News have been fantastic, it’s really a great fit for me,” Satan stated. “I think we’re on the same page which makes working with them seamless.”

Satan explained that he will mostly be appearing on Fox News by satellite from Hell, “Hey, it’s September, you know how hot and miserable it gets in New York this time of year?”

Fox News CEO Roger Ailes said that broadcasting Satan’s views on his network will be business as usual. “We like to get all perspectives on Fox News, from Birthers to Truthers, from racists to Islamophobes, from misogynists to immigrant haters. So, Satan’s views will be a welcome counterbalance to all the left wing ‘peace, love and understanding’ propaganda being pushed by the Pope.”

Asked about what criticisms we could expect to hear from him with regards to the Pope,  Satan mentioned that it would be too hard to list all of them. “Hey, it would be easier for me to list what we agree on than what we disagree on. Which is nada! He doesn’t support wars, bigotry and hatred in general, if everyone followed his views, I’d be out of business.”

To which Ailes added, “So would we.”

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

17 Responses so far.

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  1. Kalima says:

    The nuts never fall far from the tree. Satan must have been having a field day.

    “Why I Am Boycotting Pope Francis’ Address to Congress”


  2. gyp46 says:

    Having a modicum of intelligence, my opinion only, I have always had a really, really hard time believing in fairies and myths created by men around fires in caves, but I have read that book so many think was written by one of those mythical beings and somewhere in there, I think in the part written by latter day writers, you know, the one that is supposedly words by that guy Jesus, there is a phase about ‘forgiving them, they know not what they do’, now on further thought I realize most of those in congress who profess to be of the Christian faith and being republicans need that ‘forgiveness’ mightily!!

    • AdLib says:

      gyp46, your points are well taken about many religions rising from the mysteries of existence that scared those in the early days and their need to create myths that explained them.

      I would however just offer that there are many intellectual people, even scientists, who are religious. Look at the Pope, I don’t think there would be any disagreement that he is a pretty brilliant guy himself.

      The specific, fundamentalist view of any religion makes it a big target for dispute because if looked at literally, the entire literal text of a religion’s core document, most of which were written before the invent of science, doesn’t hold up today.

      For many who are religious in the modern day (those who aren’t RW Fundamentalist loons, that is), there is an acknowledgement of holy books containing a degree of symbolism, not everything in the Bible, Koran, Torah, etc. is a factual documentation of events but a history of their religion’s origin surrounded with allegory and metaphor to more strongly express the sentiment and philosophy of that religion.

      A number of scientists describe themselves as non-religious but don’t necessarily say they don’t believe in God.
      From the perspective of a strictly scientific observer, when one contemplates the hard-to-conceive concepts of The Big Bang and the creation of the universe, what was there before the universe was created and where did the material come from to create The Big Bang if the universe didn’t exist yet, the universe is infinite but it’s expanding (and what is in the space where the universe hasn’t expanded to yet?), such mind boggling mysteries do inspire one to leave the door open at least a crack to there being something bigger going on in the universe than we can imagine (not to mention all the amazing complexities of life and evolution, quantum mechanics, laws of physics and nature, etc.). What could be the answer? We’ll never know for sure…so the mysteries surrounding our existence is understandably inspiring to both those who follow a religion and those who don’t.

      Then, on the other hand, are the small minded people who only see religion as a quest to validate and impose the literal text of their religion on the rest of the world…and view those who don’t think like them or belong to other religions as “the enemy”.

      • gyp46 says:

        WOW ADLIB, having tried to digest many of your posts in the past I am certainly not going to disagree with this one, too much that is. Sure there are many intelligent individuals who believe, but just because they do does not in any way make it so. Even the office of the ‘Pope’ is still just held by a ‘man’, not an infallible ‘god like’ person, and it is a position of power used for that purpose, the semantics and rhetoric may have softened over the years but the position itself is still to control the believers and to accumulate wealth to the particular church. Sure it would be nice to think there existed a hand in control of the universe, but really, do you think that ‘entity’, if there were one, which I find impossible to believe would care one whit about the trials and tribulations on this tiny blue marble out on the very fringe of that vast universe?
        I do understand the origins of the ‘book’ and it’s various interpretations by other religions, but it is still as you say just the oral histories written down, many times hundreds of years after the fact, and we all know about that rumor started in the AM and listened to again in the PM, words are written, to again, lay out a proper way of living, written by men, to control others lives, people living in a group do need guidelines and so rules are written, and one thing that helps control the group is fear, those fears were used by the earliest shaman and later by the biggest churches, and to this day they are still being used.

  3. monicaangela says:

    I begin by saying this, Paul Gosar represents many of the people in congress, and many of the people in this nation. Many profess to be Christian, but if Jesus returned to the earth and espoused what he espoused during his lifetime here on earth, he would be crucified again. Oh yes, the case would undoubtedly go all the way to the Supreme Court, but the court in its present state would, I am sure find him guilty and sentence him yet again to the cross…How dare anyone support the lifting of the poor, the improvement of the conditions of the downtrodden. I can just see Uncle Clarence Thomas and Scalia salivating over the opportunity to find him guilty. I can almost hear them shouting “Crucify Him” Crucify Him.” :)

    Fox News would immediately take up the chorus, and promote the views of uncle Thomas and Scalia, they would in their underhanded way lead their viewers to believe the man was looking for free stuff, and not only for himself, but for every other mistreated person on the planet, “HOW DARE HE,” would be the cry from O’Reilly and Hannity and the rest of Satan’s helpers that happen to be employed by a couple of his top men over at Fox News…Ailes and Murdoch.

    I have only one disagreement with your post however, I really don’t believe Satan will take the time to be interviewed on Fox or any of the other networks, he would as did Pontius Pilate wash his hands of the entire mess and send Jesus back to the Wealthy, the Hedge fund managers and Paul Gosar (R-AZ) for what he would consider a fair trial and just punishment. :)

    • AdLib says:

      monicaangela, it is now a familiar hypocrisy that those who most fervently describe themselves and their views as being “Christian” are usually least in line with Christianity.

      Instead of following the teachings of Jesus, they label their obsession with the angry and intolerant God of The Old Testament as the basis of their Christianity. You’d waste your breath explaining to them why it’s called “Christianity”, they’d be too busy claiming their faith is under attack and spitting as they espoused their hatreds for minorities, gays, immigrants, etc.

      Jesus’ words were all about love, peace, the sin of greed, compassion for the poor…these hard right “Christians” seem more ignorant about the person their religion is based on than those who aren’t Christian.

      I’ve quoted this before but it comes to mind again, Woody Allen’s quote about this from Hannah and Her Sisters, “If Jesus came back and saw what was being done in his name, he’d never stop throwing up.”

      If he did come back, I don’t think he would be literally crucified by RW “Christians” but they would swiftly crucify him figuratively, on Fox News, in Congress, on Rush Limbaugh, all of them would quickly label him a traitor to their “Christian” faith, a “leftist politician” (just as Gosar and others have with the Pope) and a socialist commie who wants to destroy America.

      These RW “Christians” are nothing of the kind, they don’t worship the tenets of Christianity, the actual beliefs and words of Jesus, they worship the concept of a superior white clan and domination of others.

      As the white majority is becoming history, of course they have become more angry. And of course they are more insistent on cementing their “religious” views into U.S. law and embedding them in our society to force the growing majority to be dominated by their clan because otherwise, there would be no way for their clan as a minority to assert its superiority and control.

      It’s no coincidence that the rise of the Tea Party happened when a black man became President, it was a symbol of the loss of white superiority that has been coming and continues. Of course they want to “take their country back” to a time when being white was enough to feel superior over others. They are losing that and that scares them and makes them angry that their entitlement to superiority is being taken away.

      Hence, the intolerance of others who are different and have different views and the maniacal need to dominate.

      How can it not be an embarrassment to the GOP to have one of their Congresspeople snidely attack and insult the Pope? And have Jebby and other Presidential candidates of theirs tell the public to ignore the Pope on issues like Climate Change because “he’s not a scientist” (and he is a scientist, he has a degree in Chemistry…but aside from that, aren’t they also inferring that he’s deluded, stupid or ignorant and they, who aren’t scientists, should instead be listened to as superior in intellect to the Pope?)

      Now with Boehner quitting, the GOP may put a brighter spotlight on what ignoramuses and haters they really are which will hopefully make the 2016 election a bigger landslide for Dems.

      • monicaangela says:

        After reading your reply to my comment, the chorus of which I am one rang out with this glorious sound: HALELUJAH, HALELUJAH, HALELUJAH, HALELUJAH, HALELUJAH. :)

        Spot on AdLib, can’t disagree with anything you have written here. Btw, now I guess we know why Boehner Boohooed so much during the Pope’s speech. I guess even he can’t take the antics of the Tea Party and some of the other members of his party that go along with their disgraceful behavior. I wonder who will become the new speaker? Do you have a guess as to who it might be? I tell you, these are strange times in which we are living. If I didn’t know any better, I would believe we are witnessing first hand a battle, Good vs. Evil. I have to say that when I think of this I am reminded of the following quote:

        “A Native American elder once described his own inner struggles in this manner: Inside of me there are two dogs. One of the dogs is mean and evil. The other dog is good. The mean dog fights the good dog all the time. When asked which dog wins, he reflected for a moment and replied, The one I feed the most.”

        ― George Bernard Shaw

        I truly hope we as a people can learn from this Native American elder, and feed the ideas of men like the Pope, and not those RW Tea Party fanatics and the men and women who think in the manner they do. Change is difficult to accept, and power is very difficult to relinquish when you have wielded it with a heavy hand as those in power have done. It would be wonderful if they could take a moment and listen to the words of the Pope as he addressed a joint meeting of congress: An excerpt….

        “Each son or daughter of a given country has a mission, a personal and social responsibility. Your own responsibility as members of Congress is to enable this country, by your legislative activity, to grow as a nation. You are the face of its people, their representatives. You are called to defend and preserve the dignity of your fellow citizens in the tireless and demanding pursuit of the common good, for this is the chief aim of all politics. A political society endures when it seeks, as a vocation, to satisfy common needs by stimulating the growth of all its members, especially those in situations of greater vulnerability or risk. Legislative activity is always based on care for the people. To this you have been invited, called and convened by those who elected you.”

        Find the full speech here: https://www.washingtonpost.com/local/social-issues/transcript-pope-franciss-speech-to-congress/2015/09/24/6d7d7ac8-62bf-11e5-8e9e-dce8a2a2a679_story.html

        Thanks again for your wonderful reply to my comment I agree 100% with what you have said. :)

  4. Fergie1 says:

    Your great wit shines once again AD! Gee, I really missed Paul Gosar (Who?!), not being there, didn’t everyone!

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks Fergie!

      As a result of his disrespectful action, Gosar the Gosarian was ordered back into his parallel dimension by an official government representative:

  5. fjb says:

    We must always keep in mind that the klan does hate Catholics as well as their other standard hate objects, and Gosar reflects their views precisely.

    • AdLib says:

      fjb, good point! They are indeed an equal opportunity hate group, they hate everyone!

      The troubling thing is trying to figure out if Gosar is a Klan fan or so hateful of “liberals” (i.e. “compassion for other human beings”) that he can’t even control himself from hating even the Pope when his hatred isn’t affirmed.

      Let’s see if he runs on an anti-Pope platform and wins in AZ.

  6. AdLib says:

    UPDATE: Inundated with news and praise of Pope Francis’ words about showing compassion and acceptance towards all immigrants, Donald Trump was filmed spontaneously melting and howling, “I’m melting! Melting! Oh, what a world! What a world!”

    The gooey mess that Trump was reduced to was quickly and joyfully mopped up by an undocumented immigrant, whistling the tune, “Ding, Dong, the Witch is Dead”.

  7. Daedalus says:

    Ad-Lib, I’ve been absent from commenting on your blog for many moons, now, but you always lure me back. I had no doubt (reading the title) who wrote the article. I couldn’t resist, and wasn’t disappointed.

    I live in Tennessee, and I’m going to forward this piece to a few of my friends (people who I think will appreciate your wit). Keep it up.

    I hope you are considering a book made of your best satirical posts. It could pay a few bills and reach a different audience.

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