Satan on Fox

Pope Francis has been making big news during his visit to the U.S., promoting concern for the poor, Climate Change and immigrants.  Some Republicans claim that The Pope’s urging Congress to follow the Golden Rule and show compassion towards others is proof of a biased liberal agenda.

Congressman Paul Gosar (R-AZ) announced his boycott of the Pope’s address to Congress today by explaining, “When the Pope chooses to act and talk like a leftist politician, then he can expect to be treated like one.” Gosar added that if Jesus ever returns and also talks like a leftist politician, supporting the poor, peace and opposing the money changers, he’d have no other choice as a true Christian than to boycott his speeches as well and go on Fox News to crucify him.

As for Fox News, they have announced that due to the liberally slanted views expressed by the Pope, in pursuit of providing the “fair and balanced” coverage they’re known for, Fox News has hired Satan to provide commentary for them on The Pope’s visit.

“The folks at Fox News have been fantastic, it’s really a great fit for me,” Satan stated. “I think we’re on the same page which makes working with them seamless.”

Satan explained that he will mostly be appearing on Fox News by satellite from Hell, “Hey, it’s September, you know how hot and miserable it gets in New York this time of year?”

Fox News CEO Roger Ailes said that broadcasting Satan’s views on his network will be business as usual. “We like to get all perspectives on Fox News, from Birthers to Truthers, from racists to Islamophobes, from misogynists to immigrant haters. So, Satan’s views will be a welcome counterbalance to all the left wing ‘peace, love and understanding’ propaganda being pushed by the Pope.”

Asked about what criticisms we could expect to hear from him with regards to the Pope,  Satan mentioned that it would be too hard to list all of them. “Hey, it would be easier for me to list what we agree on than what we disagree on. Which is nada! He doesn’t support wars, bigotry and hatred in general, if everyone followed his views, I’d be out of business.”

To which Ailes added, “So would we.”

17
Leave a Comment

Please Login to comment
7 Comment threads
10 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
8 Comment authors
Kalimagyp46monicaangelaFergie1pinkpantheroz Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
Kalima
Admin

The nuts never fall far from the tree. Satan must have been having a field day.

“Why I Am Boycotting Pope Francis’ Address to Congress”

http://townhall.com/columnists/congressmanpaulgosar/2015/09/17/why-i-am-boycotting-pope-francis-address-to-congress-n2053596

Report this comment

gyp46
Member
gyp46

Having a modicum of intelligence, my opinion only, I have always had a really, really hard time believing in fairies and myths created by men around fires in caves, but I have read that book so many think was written by one of those mythical beings and somewhere in there, I think in the part written by latter day writers, you know, the one that is supposedly words by that guy Jesus, there is a phase about ‘forgiving them, they know not what they do’, now on further thought I realize most of those in congress who profess to be of the Christian faith and being republicans need that ‘forgiveness’ mightily!!

Report this comment

monicaangela
Member

I begin by saying this, Paul Gosar represents many of the people in congress, and many of the people in this nation. Many profess to be Christian, but if Jesus returned to the earth and espoused what he espoused during his lifetime here on earth, he would be crucified again. Oh yes, the case would undoubtedly go all the way to the Supreme Court, but the court in its present state would, I am sure find him guilty and sentence him yet again to the cross…How dare anyone support the lifting of the poor, the improvement of the conditions of the downtrodden. I can just see Uncle Clarence Thomas and Scalia salivating over the opportunity to find him guilty. I can almost hear them shouting “Crucify Him” Crucify Him.” 🙂

Fox News would immediately take up the chorus, and promote the views of uncle Thomas and Scalia, they would in their underhanded way lead their viewers to believe the man was looking for free stuff, and not only for himself, but for every other mistreated person on the planet, “HOW DARE HE,” would be the cry from O’Reilly and Hannity and the rest of Satan’s helpers that happen to be employed by a couple of his top men over at Fox News…Ailes and Murdoch.

I have only one disagreement with your post however, I really don’t believe Satan will take the time to be interviewed on Fox or any of the other networks, he would as did Pontius Pilate wash his hands of the entire mess and send Jesus back to the Wealthy, the Hedge fund managers and Paul Gosar (R-AZ) for what he would consider a fair trial and just punishment. 🙂

Report this comment

Fergie1
Member
Fergie1

Your great wit shines once again AD! Gee, I really missed Paul Gosar (Who?!), not being there, didn’t everyone!

Report this comment

fjb
Member
fjb

We must always keep in mind that the klan does hate Catholics as well as their other standard hate objects, and Gosar reflects their views precisely.

Report this comment

Daedalus
Member
Daedalus

Ad-Lib, I’ve been absent from commenting on your blog for many moons, now, but you always lure me back. I had no doubt (reading the title) who wrote the article. I couldn’t resist, and wasn’t disappointed.

I live in Tennessee, and I’m going to forward this piece to a few of my friends (people who I think will appreciate your wit). Keep it up.

I hope you are considering a book made of your best satirical posts. It could pay a few bills and reach a different audience.

Report this comment

pinkpantheroz
Member

Daedalus, I second the Motion!

All those in favor?

Report this comment

monicaangela
Member

Hear, hear!!!

Report this comment