It was a dark and stormy night as two gay novelists were driving through Kentucky on their way to New York, to get married. They were madly in love with each other and had made the heavy decision to tie the not and live together till death do them part.
As they drove through the torrential rain, in the darkness, their car hydroplaned off the road and down a small hillside, badly injuring them both, and knocking them unconscious.
As the next morning’s light broke through the shattered windshield, a graying, portly woman peered into the car. With great strength and much struggle, she managed to rescue them and bring them to her secluded home deep in the surrounding woods. As fate would have it, this brave and caring woman, named Kim, was a registered nurse and quickly tended to the writers’ broken bones, cuts and contusions.
On the following day, the writers came out of their unconscious states and Kim told them of the accident and assured them they would take quite a while to heal enough to leave on their own and make it to New York to be wedded.
While going through their things, Kim found a manuscript, co-written by these two novelists. The book was a semi-autobiography about two gay men who met and fell in love and decided to marry. Kim, as it turned out, was a very strict fundamentalist Christian and was appalled by what she had read in the manuscript.
Well, she could not, in good conscience, let such an abomination take place, either the marriage, or the publication of the novel.
Kim soon began to torture both men. She would drug them, rant and rave at them for being gay and violating God’s Law, and even broke their legs anew, so they couldn’t escape.
Fortunately for these poor men, a federal judge was passing by and noticed something afoul. He summoned his marshals and stormed the creepy old abode and freed these poor souls. He then promptly arrested nurse Kim and sent her to jail, until she apologized to these men and issued them a complimentary license to marry in the state of Old Kentucky, if they so chose.
(My sincere apologies to the wonderful actress, Kathy Bates)