carson surprised

Dr. Ben Carson has surged in the polls in the last week to take the national lead from Donald Trump among the Republicans  running for President.

Showing a diligent disregard for how wrong polls have always proven to be when taken this far away from an election, the media is now all abuzz over polls that show Ben Carson even with Hillary Clinton. As far as meaningless polls go, this is an important one, especially for people who are not deterred by perspective or history.

In response to these polls, Ben Carson’s camp has released a list of the first actions that Ben Carson would take if elected President.

THE FIRST 3 ACTS OF PRESIDENT BEN CARSON

  1. REPEAL OBAMACARE AND REPLACE WITH LEECHES. “Sometimes the old ways are the best ways. Obamacare is bankrupting our country and if we truly want to bring the cost of healthcare down, we need to repeal it and cut the expensive cost of today’s medical technology. My proposal is to replace Obamacare with a more affordable plan, sending a one-time healthcare package to all Americans that includes leeches, a do-it-yourself suture kit, a prosthetic leg and a 20% discount card for CVS.”
  2.  GIVE TAX CUTS TO CHRISTIANS. “Our tax laws are written to encourage desired behavior so with that in mind, to encourage people to correct their mistaken beliefs in other religions, I will sign a new tax law that slashes income taxes only for Christians. Just as God will make Muslims, Jews, scientists, etc. pay for their beliefs, I will use this “Torquemada Tax” to put the screws to non-Christians, making them pay until it hurts so much that they finally give in and convert. Of their own free will, that is.”
  3. DE-REGULATE LICENSING OF DOCTORS. “Part of what I think would make me a great President is that is that I haven’t spent any of my life as a leader or a politician. I think the best person for the job could be the one who can come at it with a fresh, new perspective. So by removing the need for doctors to be licensed, we could get all kinds of new and exciting approaches in medicine! Why not let a barista do liposuction? A jackhammer operator give a colonoscopy? Or a clown be a brain surgeon?”

Carson is also considering changing the legal system to be more in sync with God’s wrath, making gay marriage a crime punishable by having to wear the wardrobe of Appalachian brothers and classifying moderating a debate as a hate crime.

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KillgoreTrout
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[img]http://media.fyre.co/uTGqUWhsRweka2bljBmz_Ben%20Carson%20neurosurgeon%20white%20guy.jpg[/img]

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monicaangela
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Well, I guess you have to comment on the front runners. LOL!! 🙂 I hope I am not the only one here that feels that this man is in fact a slap in the face of every person who had the audacity to put Barack Hussein Obama in the White House.

Just imagine the RNC members in the backroom sniggling when they looked this guy up and asked him to run. I can hear them now saying, okay, they want a black guy in the White House, we’ll give them a real black guy…”remember that guy that does the commercials for Mannatech, yeah, you know the one who thinks the Pyramids in Egypt were built to store grain. Yeah, that one will be exactly what we need in the area of Evangelistic politics since we can’t get anyone any closer to Pat Robertson to run. This guy is perfect, and then we have to remember, he will get us the black vote, because every black person has heard of Dr. Ben Carson, the famous Neuro Surgeon…this is a no brainer, this is our guy. Oh yes, and by the way, if he does happen to win the nomination, and eventually the presidency, we’ll have someone more pliable than GWB, we’ll be able to run every policy we ever dreamed of through the white house, and have his signature on it, a black man, the black man that ruined our nation..well, that’s what we’ll say once he’s out of office. This is too good to be true, let’s call him.”

I know I went a bit off course where your article is concerned AdLib, but I just had to express my ideas concerning Carson. As far as his policies, that is so kind of you to even imagine that he will have an opportunity to express what he thinks if he would by some miracle get elected to the presidency. They will place a “Dick Cheney” at his side, and he will be nothing more than a GWB 2.0. with much less power than GWB had.

Thanks for the article, and I agree with the other posters, the picture was a perfect match for the article you wrote. 🙂

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Kalima
Admin

My first question on reading the amazingly bizarre things coming out of this man’s mouth was.

“Is he joking?”

Answer:

No he’s not.

My second question was.

“Is there anyone who is more ignorant, plainly sick and psychotic than Ben Carson?”

Answer:

Yes. The people who will vote for him if he is still standing and hasn’t been committed by November 2016.

How this man ever passed his medical exams to become a doctor/surgeon, is beyond me. Could be that in that time and now, the doctor experimented with a few brain surgeries on himself and forgot to put all the bits and bobs back in their proper place.

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kesmarn
Admin

Try as I might to give your post 5 stars, AdLib, only 4 would show up. I suspect this might be a technical “submarine” from the Carson campaign staff. (Have you heard his latest quotable comment? In which he referred to verbal attack “submarines” from his opponents in the Mannatech scandal?)

I had to laugh out loud at the “baristas doing liposuction” suggestion. I’d sooner take a chance on that than risk surgery with Dr. Ben (The-Pyramids-Were-Built-By-Joseph-To-Store-Grain) Carson at this point.

I know only one person who’s an ardent Ben Carson supporter. She lives in Tennessee and has a daughter who’s gay. When I mentioned that her candidate would probably de-legitimize her own daughter’s marriage to another woman if he had the chance, she said: “Well, yes, that is a problem. But he’s such a good Christian that I have to vote for him.” Sigh…

When the choice is between one’s own daughter or one’s homophobic “Uncle,” well… a bigot’s gotta do what a bigot’s gotta do.

I agree with KT on the perfect photo selection too. How’d you like that to be the last image you see just before the anesthesia takes effect….? :-O

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pinkpantheroz
Member

It is ironically fitting that a person of color is the frontrunner in the GOP polls. Look at what the Democratic person of color achieved. Oops, better not mention that! When will the good doctor’s birth certificate appear?

I’ll be looking forward to his other dictates, that all whites surrender their firearms and only people of color can bear arms. Also, when will the now discredited Secret Service be replaced by the KKK and Militiamen.
Other decrees: the official Church of the new regim…. er Presidency will be the Westboro Baptist Church.
The mind boggles!

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Nirek
Member

Hey Ad, everything that KT said is right on! I can’t top his post.

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KillgoreTrout
Member

A jack hammer operator doing a colonoscopy? Ouch!

Right on Ad! I really do love your sense of humor, and your observational skills, to pull it off.

Maybe Uncle Ben can get with Huckleberry and cure all diseases and free up all that moocher money that sick people have been taking all these years! I mean, Got damn, that would free up a lot of duckets!

BTW, I love the photo. You have captured Carson in his real state. Well done, my friend!

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