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AdLib On November - 4 - 2015

carson surprised

Dr. Ben Carson has surged in the polls in the last week to take the national lead from Donald Trump among the Republicans  running for President.

Showing a diligent disregard for how wrong polls have always proven to be when taken this far away from an election, the media is now all abuzz over polls that show Ben Carson even with Hillary Clinton. As far as meaningless polls go, this is an important one, especially for people who are not deterred by perspective or history.

In response to these polls, Ben Carson’s camp has released a list of the first actions that Ben Carson would take if elected President.


  1. REPEAL OBAMACARE AND REPLACE WITH LEECHES. “Sometimes the old ways are the best ways. Obamacare is bankrupting our country and if we truly want to bring the cost of healthcare down, we need to repeal it and cut the expensive cost of today’s medical technology. My proposal is to replace Obamacare with a more affordable plan, sending a one-time healthcare package to all Americans that includes leeches, a do-it-yourself suture kit, a prosthetic leg and a 20% discount card for CVS.”
  2.  GIVE TAX CUTS TO CHRISTIANS. “Our tax laws are written to encourage desired behavior so with that in mind, to encourage people to correct their mistaken beliefs in other religions, I will sign a new tax law that slashes income taxes only for Christians. Just as God will make Muslims, Jews, scientists, etc. pay for their beliefs, I will use this “Torquemada Tax” to put the screws to non-Christians, making them pay until it hurts so much that they finally give in and convert. Of their own free will, that is.”
  3. DE-REGULATE LICENSING OF DOCTORS. “Part of what I think would make me a great President is that is that I haven’t spent any of my life as a leader or a politician. I think the best person for the job could be the one who can come at it with a fresh, new perspective. So by removing the need for doctors to be licensed, we could get all kinds of new and exciting approaches in medicine! Why not let a barista do liposuction? A jackhammer operator give a colonoscopy? Or a clown be a brain surgeon?”

Carson is also considering changing the legal system to be more in sync with God’s wrath, making gay marriage a crime punishable by having to wear the wardrobe of Appalachian brothers and classifying moderating a debate as a hate crime.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

14 Responses so far.

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  1. monicaangela says:

    Well, I guess you have to comment on the front runners. LOL!! :) I hope I am not the only one here that feels that this man is in fact a slap in the face of every person who had the audacity to put Barack Hussein Obama in the White House.

    Just imagine the RNC members in the backroom sniggling when they looked this guy up and asked him to run. I can hear them now saying, okay, they want a black guy in the White House, we’ll give them a real black guy…”remember that guy that does the commercials for Mannatech, yeah, you know the one who thinks the Pyramids in Egypt were built to store grain. Yeah, that one will be exactly what we need in the area of Evangelistic politics since we can’t get anyone any closer to Pat Robertson to run. This guy is perfect, and then we have to remember, he will get us the black vote, because every black person has heard of Dr. Ben Carson, the famous Neuro Surgeon…this is a no brainer, this is our guy. Oh yes, and by the way, if he does happen to win the nomination, and eventually the presidency, we’ll have someone more pliable than GWB, we’ll be able to run every policy we ever dreamed of through the white house, and have his signature on it, a black man, the black man that ruined our nation..well, that’s what we’ll say once he’s out of office. This is too good to be true, let’s call him.”

    I know I went a bit off course where your article is concerned AdLib, but I just had to express my ideas concerning Carson. As far as his policies, that is so kind of you to even imagine that he will have an opportunity to express what he thinks if he would by some miracle get elected to the presidency. They will place a “Dick Cheney” at his side, and he will be nothing more than a GWB 2.0. with much less power than GWB had.

    Thanks for the article, and I agree with the other posters, the picture was a perfect match for the article you wrote. :)

    • AdLib says:

      monicaangela, you nailed it when you mentioned that if Carson won the Presidency, being a know-nothing, he would have to bring in the very establishment Repubs to run the government that he claims to be running against. We would indeed have Bush 2.0 with a hapless figurehead mumbling too low for America to hear anything he said anyway.

      But Carson could never win a GE. Most of the country does actually care about the things candidates say and want to do if elected. And being such a religious extremist, the campaign commercials against him that would quote him and drill that into voters minds would sink him lower than his decibel level.

      Thanks for the props on the photo, it was exactly what I was looking for, makes me smile too!

      • monicaangela says:

        I don’t believe he could win a general election either, but stranger things have happened in this country. Look at the governors race in Kentucky for an example. Residents of the state of Kentucky, over 400,000 of them stood to lose their health insurance, and knowing this didn’t even bother to get out and vote. Kind of makes you wonder where the heads of the electorate in Kentucky are these days. :)

  2. Kalima says:

    My first question on reading the amazingly bizarre things coming out of this man’s mouth was.

    “Is he joking?”


    No he’s not.

    My second question was.

    “Is there anyone who is more ignorant, plainly sick and psychotic than Ben Carson?”


    Yes. The people who will vote for him if he is still standing and hasn’t been committed by November 2016.

    How this man ever passed his medical exams to become a doctor/surgeon, is beyond me. Could be that in that time and now, the doctor experimented with a few brain surgeries on himself and forgot to put all the bits and bobs back in their proper place.

    • AdLib says:

      Kalima, I think the MSM is being co-dependent in touting Carson because it’s in their best financial interest. Otherwise, Carson is so obviously an ignorant lightweight who lies frequently and never has sensible answer to anything.

      Carson would be torn to shreds in a General Election…so I am just fine with him winning the GOP nom if he can.

      As for brain surgeries, Carson has just put the last nail in the coffin of the cliche, “You don’t have to be a brain surgeon to…”, being a brain surgeon no longer connotes intelligence.

  3. kesmarn says:

    Try as I might to give your post 5 stars, AdLib, only 4 would show up. I suspect this might be a technical “submarine” from the Carson campaign staff. (Have you heard his latest quotable comment? In which he referred to verbal attack “submarines” from his opponents in the Mannatech scandal?)

    I had to laugh out loud at the “baristas doing liposuction” suggestion. I’d sooner take a chance on that than risk surgery with Dr. Ben (The-Pyramids-Were-Built-By-Joseph-To-Store-Grain) Carson at this point.

    I know only one person who’s an ardent Ben Carson supporter. She lives in Tennessee and has a daughter who’s gay. When I mentioned that her candidate would probably de-legitimize her own daughter’s marriage to another woman if he had the chance, she said: “Well, yes, that is a problem. But he’s such a good Christian that I have to vote for him.” Sigh…

    When the choice is between one’s own daughter or one’s homophobic “Uncle,” well… a bigot’s gotta do what a bigot’s gotta do.

    I agree with KT on the perfect photo selection too. How’d you like that to be the last image you see just before the anesthesia takes effect….? :-O

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks Kes!

      I think the kind of cognitive dissonance you describe in that Carson supporter seems more the rule than the exception for Carson supporters.

      They like him because he’s a soft talking “Christian” and yet what he actually espouses is unChristian. He wants to prevent people who love each other from getting married. He doesn’t want America to take care of the poor with Obamacare, Medicare and SS. He compares pro-choice women to those who owned slaves.

      What Carson supporters are really about is having someone with black skin representing the worst of their beliefs and giving them an excuse to be racist but have an excuse for saying they’re not.

      Carson has attacked most of the black population, attacked the Black Lives Matter activists and anyone who supports their movement, he espouses the hateful bigotry his supporters harbor but in a soft spoken way that makes them feel better about themselves.

      He prides himself as a know-nothing about political issues and solutions and that also gets overlooked by his followers. Never before have we seen a candidate so happily say he has no idea of how he’d accomplish anything, be so embraced by so many voters. They really want a President who has no clue how to run a country, running the country?

      The irony is, he would have to bring in political hacks to run everything and voters would get just the opposite of the outsider they wanted.

      Carson will never win a GE, once he’s in it, his ignorance will be glaring and actually scary to most voters. But for now, live it up Carson, Carson supporters and MSM, believe in meaningless polls and babble about Carson, by March it will all be collapsing very quickly for Carson.

  4. pinkpantheroz says:

    It is ironically fitting that a person of color is the frontrunner in the GOP polls. Look at what the Democratic person of color achieved. Oops, better not mention that! When will the good doctor’s birth certificate appear?

    I’ll be looking forward to his other dictates, that all whites surrender their firearms and only people of color can bear arms. Also, when will the now discredited Secret Service be replaced by the KKK and Militiamen.
    Other decrees: the official Church of the new regim…. er Presidency will be the Westboro Baptist Church.
    The mind boggles!

    • AdLib says:

      PPO, Rupert Murdoch says Carson would finally be a real black President. First Obama isn’t a real American, a real Christian, a real Democrat but now, when the Repubs have a black candidate who spouts the craziest religious drivel, Obama is now not even a real black President!

      What is a minor annoyance for me is how intentionally stupid the media is about Carson. The poll numbers today couldn’t be more irrelevant to what wil happen next November. And they all know that these polls are all about vague opinions of candidates, most Americans have no idea what Carson has said or what an extremist religious nut he is. So none of this matters, 70% of Repubs say they haven’t made their minds up yet. And still, the MSM is all excited about proclaiming he could win the Presidency.

      Oh well, I’ll just sit back and watch these hacks suddenly proclaim Carson unelectable by March.

  5. Nirek says:

    Hey Ad, everything that KT said is right on! I can’t top his post.

  6. A jack hammer operator doing a colonoscopy? Ouch!

    Right on Ad! I really do love your sense of humor, and your observational skills, to pull it off.

    Maybe Uncle Ben can get with Huckleberry and cure all diseases and free up all that moocher money that sick people have been taking all these years! I mean, Got damn, that would free up a lot of duckets!

    BTW, I love the photo. You have captured Carson in his real state. Well done, my friend!

    • AdLib says:

      Hey KT, thanks so much!

      Well, Carson does believe in patent medicine, promoting that fraudulent Mannatech crap to cure everything from nail fungus to cancer. Maybe his “replacement” for Obamacare will be making all Americans distributors for Mannatech?

      I do like that photo of him too, indeed, that’s Carson’s real inner nutcase coming out.

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