trump-neanderthal

The election of Donald Trump as President has unleashed a great deal of primal hatred and bigotry around the nation, offering affirmation to those who have yearned to escape society’s “politically correct” shackles of having to pretend to be decent human beings.

Unexpectedly, a new manner of expressing themselves has been catching (or discovering) fire with such Trump supporters…going caveman.

To participate in this new (anti)social movement, Trump supporters vow to only speak (or tweet) in grunts and groans, express anger toward any who don’t look like part of their tribe and stop shaving and showering. These “New-anderthals” as they call themselves, claim their practice has been going on for many months but it only seems new because the public hasn’t been able to tell them apart from regular Trump supporters.

“We am here to stay just like first Neanderthals,” grunted Trump supporter and Newanderthal, Clyde Ham, previously explaining that part of the lifestyle includes not “con-jew-gating” verbs properly because they own the banks.

Instead of clothes, Ham proudly wore a pelt around his waist made of many rat hides sewn together, proudly bragging that he only needed to kill one tiny field mouse to have a pelt that sufficiently fit him as underwear.

Ham now lives in a cave, many miles away from his modest home that was coincidentally foreclosed on by JP Morgan Chase Bank, the CEO of which is in the running to become Trump’s Treasury Secretary. “Me happy in cave instead. Have running water…well…have to run to get water. Built in heat and air when sun is out and wind blows. And best of all, have second amendment rights to protect cave from terrorists…but mostly bats.”

One thing Ham hasn’t given up is his cell phone and internet access. “Trolls live in caves!” Ham laughed about hysterically for four and a half minutes before choking on a bit of rat meat that was sucked loose from his teeth. “Me on internet all day making libtards crazy! It as American as Russians!”

Ham does have a mailbox leaning up against his cave and scoffed at a summons he received to appear for assault against a woman hiker.

“Me wanted her so me grabbed her, just like President would! Me try to drag back to my cave but she libtard and maced me. And them want to put me in jail?! Can’t wait for President Trump to make law forcing all women to like me as Constitution says! ”

Touting the growing popularity of the Newanderthal movement, Ham explained that he has joined a club club…that is a club of fellow Newanderthals who have acquired clubs to beat others with. “We call clubs ‘arguments’. We win debates with libtards with them, on climate change, civil rights, we just swing  ‘arguments’ at them and we win! Who smart now? Really…who smart? Me want to ‘argue’ with them now,” Ham shouted as he frothed at the mouth and beat his chest with his club…soon falling down and clutching his chest after having knocked the wind out of himself.

As Ham demonstrated, America will have to come to terms with dealing for the next four years with the self-destructive, field-mouse-pelt-crotched, Newanderthal crowd that has backed and supports the presidency of Donald Trump.

Following something Groucho Marx once said, perhaps the solution for the rest of America is to join a club too and beat them over the head with it.

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Blondannas
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Blondannas

Since the Donald has now stated that he will continue to run his business and produce his television show while serving as President, I can’t help but think that he is having second thoughts about the constraints of being President. Maybe he is becoming aware of the ramifications of his election, maybe he is struggling with the reality of Milania living in NYC while he is stuck in the relative tawdriness of the White House vs the gilded glamour of his Trump residence. I live in hope that he will find a way to resign before his inauguration.
One can only hope. Maybe then, the miasma of hatred will dissipate and float away in the cleansing wind.

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kesmarn
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Too funny, AdLib! I love it. To go along with the Groucho quotation, I have to cite another comedian (a few decades before Groucho) — the very first stand up comic: Mark Twain. Wasn’t he the one who said that he wouldn’t want to be a member of any club that would accept him?

As far as I’m concerned, Ham’s club fits into that category — but not in the way that Twain implied. I really don’t want membership in that one under any circumstances. If they would accept me, it would be a scary indicator that I had really, totally gone off the rails. So please don’t invite me, Ham!

Believe me when I say that I SO do not fit in. Don’t want to fit in. In fact, I will cling to my libtard status indefinitely, thank you very much, Ham. Now settle down, boy. Here’s a nice piece of rodent-burger for you, Hammy. Go sit in your crate.

On a more serious note, I’d also seen the three videos that Kalima posted. I’m sure we all would agree that these people are exhibiting signs of mental illness (I think the one woman really is severely bipolar) but the sad thing is that these types of people –as you said in your parody — now feel that they have some legitimacy. They feel that they can publicly insult people with impunity and then call them “sore losers” or “politically correct little cupcakes” when they object to the verbal abuse.

And most recently a guy who’d been incited to near violence by an anti-Clinton fake news story terrified everyone in a DC pizza place yesterday by taking a gun in and threatening to “do his own investigation” into false charges of a child sex trafficking operation that was allegedly being run out of that site. Madness!

The next four years cannot go by fast enough if this is what we have to look forward to. I can only hope that the Hams of America figure out sooner rather than later that it will never be 1952 again. Women are not going to start wearing pearls and heels and having potatoes au gratin with ham on the table when Ham gets home from the rock quarry. And black Americans are not going to start dashing for the back of the bus. The party’s over, Hamster!

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Kalima
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It won’t be the last either as the “trump nuts” come out into the open. The fake news turds should be arrested for inciting violence too.

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Fake News Purveyors and Trump’s Conspiracy Theorists Have Real World Consequences

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/12/05/fake-news-purveyors-and-trump-s-conspiracy-theorists-have-real-world-consequences.html

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grammit
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grammit

he is NOT MY PRESIDENT!!! and never will be actually HE thinks he is King drumph AND HE IS FRIGHTENING IN HIS IGNORANCE AND HIS ARROGANCE

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Kalima
Admin

Perfect description, AdLib. Below, three perfect examples of those you described.

Forgive me for posting something I have already posted on Time Out, but here they come.

Is this their new game plan? Victimisation? Not working if this is their cockeyed excuse for voting for trump. As pathetic, aggressive, dumb and classless as we thought. Just like their dear leader.

It sounds too scripted. Poor, poor white people. 🙄

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‘And I voted for Trump! So there!’: Woman accuses black Michaels employees of discrimination

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/post-nation/wp/2016/11/29/woman-claims-discrimination-declares-and-i-voted-for-trump-so-there-in-viral-michaels-rant/

Racist White Woman Trump Rant in Chicago Store 11/23/16

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=PmHZJcb66IA

‘I voted for Trump! You lost!’: White Starbucks customer accuses barista of ‘discrimination’

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=xfhn_RzmyGM

Pro Trump Rant on Delta Airline Caught on Video

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=JpjhACQLOQM

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