Trump choke

In a startling display of irrational hostility, Donald Trump accidentally beat himself up in front of a raucous crowd during a rally in Phoenix, Arizona today.

While most of his speech was a repetition of familiar statements about his strong poll numbers, building a wall and making Mexico pay for it and claiming China, Japan and all other U.S. trading partners were “killing us”, he started espousing conflicting views on the occurrence of violence at his rallies.

Trump began addressing the mounting violence at his rallies by claiming that there was none and his supporters were peaceful. “We have a great time at my rallies, don’t we?! The people who come to my rallies are good people, believe me, great people who are as peaceful as they are uneducated,” Trump insisted to loud and oblivious applause. “It’s the protesters who come here looking for violence, not us.”

Trump then turned on himself, “Come on, we’ve had enough of political correctness! What I miss is the old days, when you could just punch a protester in the face if you didn’t like what he said. We need more people put in comas by politics, not less!”

Trump then shook his head at himself. “Now you’re lying, I’ve never said that, I’ve never promoted violence at my rallies, there is no violence at a Trump rally, believe me.”

His disagreement with himself became more heated and escalated into his roughly pushing himself around the stage before sucker punching himself. After knocking himself to the floor,  Trump yelled at himself, “You’re  horrible! Really horrible! You’re the biggest liar I have ever seen and I’ve seen plenty!”

The packed crowd looked on silently in bewilderment as Trump continued berating and slapping himself. Then, like a domino effect, it spread among the Trump supporters in the audience who began mimicking his behavior and enthusiastically beating themselves up and hurling vicious and bigoted insults at themselves while protesting that they were non-violent.

Secret Service officers eventually snapped out of their disbelief and wrestled with each other as some of them tried to restrain Trump from beating himself up while the others tried to hustle him out of the arena.

Hours after the chaotic rally ended and the crowd finally dispersed, Trump tweeted on his Twitter account, “Great rally today in Phoenix! Confident now, no one can beat me…except me!”

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agrippaJames Michael BrodieBeatlexAdLibNirek Recent comment authors
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James Michael Brodie
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Food for thought:

According to PolitFact, Hillary Clinton’s statements come out at “True” 72 percent of the time (fully “True” at 24 percent) since the beginning of the campaign. Clinton’s challenged statements have rated out as “False” or “Pants on Fire” 14 percent of the time,

Bernie Sanders comes out at 70 percent “True” (fully “True” at 24 percent). Sanders’ challenged statements have rated out as “False” or “Pants on Fire” 15 percent of the time.

John Kasich has been rated “True” 67 percent of the time (fully “True” at 25 percent). His challenged statements have rated out as “False” or “Pants on Fire” 33 percent of the time.

Ted Cruz rated “True” 35 percent of the time (fully “True” at 6 percent). His challenged statements have rated out as “False” or “Pants on Fire” 65 percent of the time.

Donald Trump comes out at 23 percent “True” (fully “True” at 3 percent). His challenged statements have rated out as “False” or “Pants on Fire” 61 percent of the time.

What this data means is for you to decide…

Source: http://www.politifact.com/truth-o-meter/

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kesmarn
Admin

Wow…Trump is actually — for once — telling the truth when he says that Cruz is the biggest liar of all time!

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agrippa
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agrippa
James Michael Brodie
Member

I really needed this. Good laugh. Great writing… 🙂

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KillgoreTrout
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https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mzddAYYDZkk

Ad, your article made me think of this classic.

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Beatlex
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Beatlex

“Sucker punched himself” ROTFLMFAO!! Love it Ad

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monicaangela
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I don’t know how you do it AdLib. How do you manage to take comedy and make it sound as though it could actually be true. I pictured the events happening as you laid them out. Yes, I said to myself, that’s plausible, this guy is so full of himself, I could see him actually starting something with himself and ending up getting the worst of it in the end. Loved the part where he sucker punched himself, wow could I visualize that happening. Somehow in my visualization his body guards were on lunch break and were not able to stop the attack before he accidentally detached that part of the fluff on his head that is sewn in or pasted on. Oh, it was quite an event (in my mind of course). Thanks for the laugh. However; as I said, this may seem far fetched but I could actually see it happening. 😀

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Nirek
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Monica, the republican party is self destructing all because of trump. I love it. There is not one candidate who can hold a candle to Bernie!
Also there is still half the country to vote yet. Bernie is going to do better with the rest of the country.

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monicaangela
Member

That is my hope Nirek, I’ve got fingers, toes, and legs crossed hoping he somehow pulls it out in the fall.

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kesmarn
Admin

AdLib, here’s another guy who completely agrees with you!

Ben Carson insists that there are two (at least) Donald Trumps.

And The Donald both agrees with him and disagrees with him at the same time:

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Kalima
Admin

As what? A grain counter? A lobotomy terrorist wearing a uuge belt buckle?

—-

Ben Carson: I Didn’t Want To Endorse Trump, But He Promised Me A Position

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2016/03/15/3760261/carson-offered-position-by-trump/

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Ah, speaking of cerebral, Ben……………..!

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monicaangela
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I sure wish Tim Reid would do another skit on him. Maybe on SNL or something. The one he did was perfect. 🙂

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Funny you mentioned that, I just watched it again this morning. Made my day! 😉

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monicaangela
Member

Where can I find it so I can bookmark it. I’d like to watch it again. 😀

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Kalima
Admin

Your article was funny because that’s how crazy this all is, AdLib. Your humour keeps me sane.

This isn’t, and the extent of violence on the map is scary. Trump should be careful that he doesn’t become a victim himself. His son has already received a suspicious letter. What goes around, comes around.

—–

(Click on the states to read an account of what happened there.)

How Trump Has Inspired Violence Across The Country, In One Map

http://thinkprogress.org/politics/2016/03/17/3760438/trump-hate-map/

—-

Suspicious Letter Containing White Powder Sent to Donald Trump’s Son

http://abcnews.go.com/US/suspicious-letter-white-powder-donald-trumps-son/story?id=37738571

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