I am like, sooo principled and like, that’s why Obama makes me totally maddd! Cause I’m really principled and he totally isn’t. Shaa!
If I was President and Congress was like, “No way we’re taxing rich people! We’re gonna kill Medicare and stuff!” I would be so like, “Uh-uh, you’re gonna tax rich people, bitch!” and they would be so like, “Damn! Okay! We’ll tax rich people, just get out of my face!”
But Obama is all, “Um, I’m scared, get those teabags outta my face, we can cut stuff cause I’m a wimp.”
It’s not fair that you gotta be old like 30 or something to be president, I would be like so perfect and principled and stuff and I’d like ONLY do everything right instead of sometimes or all the time wrong, like Obama, you know?
I am so totally pissed at my best friend! We were at McDonalds today and she ADMITS she likes Obama! I was like, “Don’t you have like, any principles? I am like so principled and I can’t believe that you’re so not!”
So she freaks and says…you’re not gonna believe this! She says that I’M not principled! Me! I AM principle! When I poop, principle comes out! I’m so full of it, I can’t believe she doesn’t see that!
Then!!! She said I’m just spoiled cause Obama didn’t give me a pony! That’s not like anywhere near the main reason I’m mad at him! Obama said he was gonna change things and like I don’t see any flying cars or anything! He totally lied and when you’re really principled, like me, it just makes you hate people forever no matter what they do, out of principle, you know?
So my best friend was supposed to come over after McDonalds and we were like gonna illegally download Harry Potter but she was all pissy and just went home.
It was really bugging me that she said I wasn’t principled cause I totally am. When I got home, I was on Facebook and got like a genius idea. I made up a list of names of our friends and said that we all agreed my best friend was totally unprincipled and mean to people who didn’t like Obama because she was just an Obamabot who didn’t think and stuff and hates everyone who isn’t like her. I put that on my Facebook and tweeted it all over, to all of our friends and everyone I could think of. No one’s gonna call me unprincipled!
Oh, and then my best friend texts me and is all boo hoo about how I lied and stuff and how I was the one who was mean and unprincipled which was totally unfair cause all I was doing was getting even because SHE called me unprincipled.
I couldn’t believe her! She like kept insisting, “You gotta apologize! You lied and stuff! You said all those people think I’m mean but I texted them and they said they totally don’t!”
Gah! She was like trying to blame me for everything! So I texted her, “I just tweeted it and put it on Facebook, I didn’t say it was true or anything!” and she goes mental. I guess being super emotional and unfair just goes with liking Obama or something.
I hate my mom. There were these totally cool shoes we saw at the mall and they cost like $240 and my mom was all hyper, “No, we have to pay for your school, we have to pay for your synchro classes, we have to pay for your birthday party at Disneyland,” and I’m all like, “If you love me, you’ll buy me these shoes like now and if you don’t buy them, you totally don’t care about me.”
Now I know, she totally doesn’t care about me. I’m seriously thinking about calling CPS or something and telling them that she hits me with a gun or something so she won’t have to be my mom anymore. It’s like so hard to be principled so much like I am and have a mom who so doesn’t respect that and give me what I want, you know?
I mean, it’s not like I think about who would be a better mom, I just know I’m mad at her being my mom cause she’s so busy caring about stuff that isn’t what I really want right now! And what’s the point of being my mom if she’s not gonna do what I want the most?
Gotta go now, just saw Obama on tv talking about jobs or something and I have to stick my finger down my throat and puke and put the video on Facebook or the girls in the Facebook group I’m in, We’re Totally Screwed, will think I’m like not as principled as they are (they’re so strict about Obarfing, if you don’t do it just as much as they do, you’re like totally the enemy!).