GOP

What could be more Republican than appearing on the biggest Russian-controlled propaganda network to denigrate America's democracy, its free press and provide cover and support for Russian attempts to sabotage and manipulate America's election process? A lot...if you're not Donald Trump.

The 1st Presidential debate between Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump starts tonight at 6:00pm PDT and our live chat right here starts at 5:30pm...

Trump's hair explained, "Could I just sit around and pretend that what was going on right under my nose wasn't happening? I'd rather dye. I've lived believing that you don't judge based on one's color and I'm not going to flip on that so I just had to give Donald a permanent wave goodbye."

"I'm telling you, Hillary's a full blown zombie, she eats brains! If she becomes president, look out! Do you really want a zombie for your President, I mean, come on," Trump exhorted his white male, pale and jagged toothed audience who responded in unison chanting, "Brains!!!"

"Look, we all know that Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Clinton are guilty for all the evil in the world today...after all, she is The Devil. Thanks to them we have ISIS, an unfair economy, irritable bowel syndrome and me as the Republican nominee, pretty terrible stuff, right?"

"I think he did himself a lot of good last night when he was sleeping, no gaffes, projecting an image of being relaxed and peaceful, we'll see a turn around in the polls if he keeps sleeping like this," boasted New Jersey Governor, Chris Christie.

Now for the hard truth for these dandelion blowing Repubs...your wish will never come true, Donald Trump is like herpes, your party has caught him and there's no way to make him go away.

Before we can Make America Great Again, we need to Make Americans Great Again and the first step in doing that is for Republicans to openly recognize and end their abusive relationship with Donald Trump.

The Republican Convention climaxes tonight with Donald Trump's acceptance speech...well, maybe "collapses" is more appropriate than "climaxes".

"When Donald first told me that he wanted me to be on his SCOTUS, I have to admit that I misunderstood and told him that I had a headache," Melania explained. "But once he explained to me that SCOTUS stands for 'Supreme Court Of Trump's Ultrahot Spouse', I was very flattened. Or is it 'flattered'?"