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AdLib On August - 2 - 2016

Dear Republicans,

Let me begin by saying that it isn’t your fault. You don’t deserve to be the target of abuse or humiliated day after day, you are deserving of much better than that. It’s not right for you to constantly be burdened with having to apologize or come up with excuses for the behavior of an abuser.

Relationships can be very complex and subjective. While we’re in them, abusive relationships may seem like a necessity but after they’re over, we ask ourselves why we stayed in them so long and subjected ourselves to so much negativity. No matter how smart we are, how incisive our advice to others may be  about relationships, no matter how strong willed and independent we may be, once our emotions draw us into a relationship, our ability to objectively view it and what transpires can become very compromised.

When one finds oneself in an abusive relationship, it isn’t uncommon for one to try and rationalize away the bad and over-value the good. Some people in abusive relationships will willingly blind themselves to the terrible words and actions they witness, choosing instead to dwell on the positive memories and perceptions they have of the abuser. They need to think the best of the abuser and that they can even change them into becoming better, the reward being eventually receiving the affection from them that is being withheld.

The issues of self-worth and insecurity come into play. As one’s confidence in oneself is chipped away either directly by an abuser or through the disrespect one receives from others for being involved with an abuser, instead of rejecting the abuser, it is human nature that some will become more dependent on the abuser, hoping (fruitlessly) that they’ll finally “earn” the support and affirmation of their self-value that they need more and more.

It can be difficult for someone to extricate themselves from an abusive relationship. First, one may be buried deep in denial for the emotional reasons listed above, they can’t recognize they’re in an abusive relationship. Second, the more the abuser may be attacked by others, the knee-jerk reaction to defend the abuser can serve many purposes for the one being abused (proving their affection, thinking they’ll be earning more affection as a reward, distracting oneself from considering that the abuser is an abuser, etc.)

The first and most critical step in escaping a severe personal situation is first recognizing that it exists. In that pursuit, please review the following list of warning signs of an abusive relationship that comes from PsychCentral.com:

21 Warning Signs of an Emotionally Abusive Relationship:

  1. Humiliating or embarrassing you.
  2. Constant put-downs (of mourning parents of heroic soldiers).
  3. Hypercriticism.
  4. Refusing to communicate (or release tax returns).
  5. Ignoring or excluding you (especially if you’re not an uneducated white male).
  6. Extramarital affairs (with Eastern Europeans).
  7. Provocative behavior with opposite sex (including his daughter).
  8. Use of sarcasm and unpleasant tone of voice.
  9. Unreasonable jealousy.
  10. Extreme moodiness.
  11. Mean jokes or constantly making fun of you (and handicapped journalists).
  12. Saying “I love you but…”
  13. Saying things like “If you don’t _____, I will_____.”
  14. Domination and control.
  15. Withdrawal of affection.
  16. Guilt trips.
  17. Making everything your fault (or Hillary’s).
  18. Isolating you from friends and family (and sanity).
  19. Using money to control.
  20. Constant calling or texting when you are not with him/her.
  21. Threatening to commit suicide if you leave (or blow up his own party).

Now, not all these signs may be present in your abuser but if you see a preponderance of them applying, then it’s important to be honest with yourself that you’re in an abusive relationship that needs to end.

As PsychCentral mentions, you can’t be too tough on yourself for falling for an abuser, they are by nature  experts in manipulation, adept at using your insecurities and fears against you to make you feel you need them.

The bottom line is that no human being needs or deserves an abuser or an abusive relationship. You are better than that (no matter what an abuser wants you to think about your being weak and needing their strength). In fact, making the choice to leave an abuser in order to stay faithful to long held principles (instead of vice-versa), could be the surest way to reclaim one’s confidence and independence.

As the religious saying goes, hate the sin not the sinner. Republicans shouldn’t be hated for being lured into a relationship with an abuser but when they choose to stay in and participate in the destructiveness of that relationship in contradiction to the principles they claim to value, they do have to take responsibility for the harm they do.

So take a moment to consider who you really are and who your abuser wants you to be. Are you a racist, misogynist, xenophobe, pro-Russian dictator, anti-veteran, lying, hatemonger or are you better than that?

Before we can Make America Great Again, we need to Make Americans Great Again and the first step in doing that is for Republicans to openly recognize and end their abusive relationship with Donald Trump.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

14 Responses so far.

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  1. AdLib says:

    MSNBC must follow The Planet, they just described Trump’s and the GOP as being like an abusive relationship!

    I will be patiently awaiting my royalties.

  2. gyp46 says:

    Violence is a drug and like a drug it can control the brain, removing the brain is the easiest way to cure Trumpers. Doubt any other method will work. “Dale” in Florida, a Trumpie, declared on air today that ‘you must not listen to Trump’s daily comments of insanity, but only think of his declarations ‘to fix everything’! See what I mean? Trumpers have no cognitive faculties when they hear the siren song of illogical Trumpings. (trumpings are those inane utterances heard daily)

    • AdLib says:

      gyp46, I wonder if it is more about anger. As long as these uneducated white folks who are angry that their lives are so hopeless, partly because they ignorantly keep voting against their own interests to elect Republicans, have a Repub deflecting their anger to scapegoats like minorities, they will mindlessly march behind their bigoted leader and no amount of truth or reason can dissuade them.

      This is a very emotionally corrupted segment of the nation, they have no ability to reason, they think with their hatreds and only believe what validates it.

      They are lost and I don’t know that they can be rescued from that since they only want to slap away the hand of any Dem that wants to help them (i.e, they desperately want to kill Obamacare and lose their health care…crazy!).

  3. Kalima says:

    A wonderfully blended reality check spiced with the craziness, greed and cowardice of the gop. Nice, AdLib!

    It must be hard to predict what a madman might do next, and he’s done just about every cringeworthy thing that no stable person would do, especially one running for the office of POTUS. The only thing he hasn’t done yet is shoot someone on 5th Avenue to see if people will still vote for him, and streak naked around trump tower singing “When you wish upon a star.” There are still 98 days to go, so who knows what he’ll do next. It’s getting so that I’m afraid to open up my computer to check the news in my mornings. It’s trump, trump, trump everywhere, and not in a good way. America please hurry up and make him disappear. I swear I’m suffering from trumpitis

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks Kalima!

      You’ve got to pace yourself, we will be getting wall-t0-wall Trump News for 3 more months! Just be glad that it’s mostly going to be how he’s setting himself on fire and jumping into a pool of gasoline!

  4. pinkpantheroz says:

    Pure genius, Ad! Congrats. You did forget to mention that there is a safe house set up for those who leave the cult and have nowhere to go. I understand it is run by a lady named Hillary and is the Casa Democratica.

    • AdLib says:

      Cheers, PPO!

      Actually, the Dems should set up something like a detox center offering free psychological counseling for anyone afflicted with Trumpmania…and Dem registration materials at the front desk.

      At least now we know what happened to all the mental patients that Reagan released into the population…they’re now the GOP’s and Trump’s base.

  5. kesmarn says:

    What an amazing combination of satire and honest-to-God truth, AdLib! As you’ve said before, with characters like Trump, it’s almost impossible to satirize them. When you take it way over the top, you discover that they’ve taken the express elevator up there and are waiting for you when you get there,

    Coincidentally, I was poking around on You Tube looking for any info that would be helpful in understanding the weird phenomenon that is The Donald, when I came across this Australian psychologist who specializes in helping people get out of abusive relationships with narcissists. It’s striking how much of what she says really resonates when it comes to Trump and his campaign!

    • AdLib says:

      Really appreciate the kind words, Kes!

      So true that satire of Trump is merely an actual headline in advance so I decided on this one to meet him halfway. That is, since satire is just delayed reality, I went for reality with a pinch of satire.

      The video in your comment does make a lot of sense when applied to Trump’s relationship with Republicans. A manipulative narcissist who maintains an abusive relationship with those who’ve been suckered into his orbit.

      Mike Pence can’t be too bright, having to be Trump’s apologist isn’t a career advancing gig.

      I do think Trump has FINALLY gone a bridge too far this time, piling the attack on the Khan parents on top of his being a Putin Puppet, his sexist comment on Ailes and after attacking Latinos as not being able to be judges…what more could this guy possibly say to cement how awful he is in the minds of most voters?

      Insult the Pope? Embrace the KKK? Lie about donating to Veteran charities? Use an anti-semetic image from a bigoted website? Call a SCOTUS judge mentally incapable? Claim that our deomcracy’s national elections will be rigged?

      Whoops, he’s done all of that already.

      I’ve been saying from the start that Trump would self-destruct and lose like the second coming of Goldwater and I can’t say anything I’ve seen makes me think otherwise.

      I mean, for the first time since they’ve been polling after conventions, Trump had more people decide that they didn’t want to vote for him after his convention. Not a convention bump, a convention shove off a cliff!

      Trump is obnoxious and disgusting and it’s already cemented in the minds of most voters except Trump Zombies in the GOP.

      And the debates, which he’ll have to participate in now that he’s down by so much in so many states and needs to try anything to change the race dynamics, will only affirm how people already see him.

      Even if there’s a terrorist attack or Wikileaks dumps some anti-Hillary crap as an October surprise, this is a referendum on Trump and external events won’t change how insane, unstable and unfit he is.

      • kesmarn says:

        One of the pundits said today, AdLib, that if Trump had just dug a hole in the ground and sat there silently throughout this campaign, he might actually have a shot at winning. (This guy was taking note of Hillary’s unpopularity.) But noooo! “Trump is defeating Trump,” is how this guy put it.

        He seems to be following the classic pattern that bullies engage in. (I think we’ve probably all seen this in work situations too.) They just have to overplay their hands. If they could in any way put the brakes on now and then, they might be able to have a little staying power. But — again — noooo! They just have to push it until the whole group they’re trying to tyrannize rises up and says:

        “YOU’RE FIRED!”

        • AdLib says:

          But I thought Trump was digging a hole for himself?

          Trump just seems to be the type of psychotic narcissist who only drives by pushing the pedal to the metal every time, no matter the results.

          He can’t stop himself and that’s why he’s driving right off a cliff!

  6. Carmen says:

    Well put.

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