Donald Trump

Tonight we'll see if Trump wins by the yuuge margin that's predicted and if Mr. Roboto can beat out Mr. Pants On Fire for 2nd place. Meanwhile Kaptain Kristian Kasich will be ordering strippers to go back to their kitchens after voting for him and Ben "Ambien" Carson will be investigating if grain is stored in the Luxor.

Ladies and gentlemen, start your engines! Today there are two races for spectators to watch, a demolition derby run by the GOP in South Carolina and a drag car race between two hot rodding Dems in Nevada.

TRUMP: "Look, who is this guy to be quoting The Bible to me?! For every Corinthian he names, I can name two!"

South Carolina, proud of its reputation for having the lowest and most degrading style of politics, is hosting the next GOP debate that will require the candidates to speak only in nasty limericks.

Will a bigoted reality show entertainer and billionaire come in first in a Presidential primary? Will a 74 year old Democratic Socialist top the wife of a President, a former U.S. Senator and Secretary of State? The New Hampshire primary is under way, join the conversation here throughout the day and night!

It's desperation time for most GOP candidates and the debate tonight should have fireworks! The debate is on ABC and starts in moments at 5:00pm PST!

The Iowa Caucuses close their doors at 5:00pm PST tonight to start their caucusing process. We shall see if they also close the doors on some of the candidates' campaigns when they announce their results.

Satire explained, "The final straw for us was really Sarah Palin endorsing Trump. We leveraged ourselves big time into a Trump/Palin product line and lost everything when Reality came out with the identical product. We just can't compete any longer with Reality so we have to close our doors."

Tonight's Republican debate begins at 6:00pm PST. As usual, we're hosting a live chat to accompany the debate (the best prescription for not punching your tv) and you're invited to join us then!

There is one very important number that makes it impossible for Donald Trump to win the Presidency. And ironically, it is 47%. No, it's not Mitt Romney's 47% but it's just as destructive to Trump's hopes.