Some might consider these folks "Subway Club Christians" since they apparently believe that if they get their conversions card stamped ten times, they get a free Resurrection.
To celebrate this festive holiday of people trying to scare others into giving them something sweet that they have, we can't help but dedicate this holiday to our favorite blood suckers and zombies, the GOP.
Darrell Issa protested GOP control of the House, "This is unAmerican and anti-democratic, I should not be in charge of this oversight committee and I will use all the power I have as chairman to prove that I shouldn't be in charge!"
Aside from inspiring most reasonable people to want to slap them silly with a live, wriggling salmon, these Depressocrats need to be called out for their negative contributions to society.
There's no reasoning with a sociopath. They are devoid of the ability to empathize or reason. They are purely focused on self-satisfaction and the sad thing about Tea Partiers is that their satisfaction comes from the acting out the pain and fear they carry inside against those they have deemed as deserving targets. Or more accurately, deserving victims.
No one ever discovered The Cowardly Fireman's secret because whenever something scared him, he would cry and the other firemen would just think that seeing houses burn down just made him too sad to help them put out the fires.
Cruz and the GOP are now offering their services to serial killers and terrorists under their new venture, "Core Republicans Ensuring Equality for People and Society" (CREEPS).
Just as Republicans insisted that the 2012 polls were all wrong and Mitt Romney would win by a landslide, Republicans today are blindly and overwhelmingly confident that the Democrats and Obama will bend to their will and the country will see them as heroes...and they'll be just as right as they were on Romney.
As the wealthy pursue the acquisition of the nation and world, we are busy waiting in line to buy the coolest new versions of phones we already have.
Boehner may be counting on the pressure from the public and the business community to push his party back from the edge but he is now standing with the extremists in his party like a battered wife.