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AdLib On June - 13 - 2011

I will be dusting off the remote buttons that switch the channel to CNN, a station I haven’t watched in a very long time, to watch The Ringling Brothers and Grand Old Party’s Debate tonight. Unlike the usual circus, the clowns won’t be in the sideshow, they’re in the center ring.

My expectations are low, I wouldn’t expect much in the way of fireworks. As this is the first real debate of the race, there will be a bit of caution as they try to get their footing…which isn’t easy when wearing those oversized clown shoes.

GOP debates are typically just the old one-upmanship on cutting taxes, Americanism, exploiting fear and anger and in this cycle, insulting the black president. The theme song to most GOP primary debates should be a redo of Etehel Merman singing that classic song from “Annie Get Your Gun”:

Anything you can do,
I can do better.
I can do anything
Better than you.
No, you can’t.
Yes, I can
No, you can’t.
Yes, I can,
Yes, I can!

I can spout “traitor”
As a racist hater.
I can get a Bagger
As a knuckle dragger.
I’ll win on hate and fear.
Are you on the level?
So can the Devil!

Any depth you can reach
I can go lower.
I can go anywhere
Lower than you.
No, you can’t.
Yes, I can.
No, you can’t.
Yes, I CAN!

Any tax you can cut
I can cut bigger.
I can cut any tax
Bigger than you.

Fifty billion?
Sixty billion!
Seventy billion?
Eighty billion!
No, you can’t!
Yes, I can,
Yes, I can!

Any “God” you can say
I can say louder.
I can say any “God”
Louder than you.
No, you can’t.
Yes, I can.

I can sell myself out
Faster than a shout.
I can spread lies quicker
And get even sicker!
I can oppress any poor.
And make them ask for more?
That’s what Repubs are for–
you whore!

Any mud you can sling
I can sling harder.
I can sling any mud
harder than you. No, you can’t.
Yes, I can

No, you can’t.
Yes, I  ca-a-a-an!

As to the specifics of this debate, here’s what I think we’ll see:

Romney will try to look reasonable, Presidential and will pander to the TP by getting in as many insults and condemnations on Obama as possible. But no real solutions to jobs except giving the “job creators” more wealth (to spend on outsourcing jobs to China, India and the 3rd World). He will also detach his head to display that it really looks human when it’s not on his robot body.

Pawlenty will attack Romney on Romneycare and as Romney is the front runner, he will likely take some shots from all sides. When Pawlenty finishes each comment, the audience will awake feeling very rested.

Newt will struggle to prove he’s viable and still in the race but will fail. Before the final statements by each candidate, Newt will be suddenly discovered missing, having left the debate before it is over to attend an auction with Callista at Christie’s for Napoleonic era chandeliers.

Bachmann will declare that MN was one of the original 13 states.

Ron Paul will rail against all government and will furiously debate himself as being part of the problem as an elected official.

Herman Cain will announce that he will send all Muslims and gays to prison just for existing, as part of his “What Would Jesus Do” platform.

Rick Santorum will hold up indecent photos of Anthony Weiner while both decrying the display of such images and having to take a step back from his podium because of how excited it gets him.

And at the end, Snow White will come out and lead all seven in a chorus of “Hi Ho, Hi Ho” as they march off the stage behind her.

Yep…we’ve seen it all before.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

189 Responses so far.

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  1. Buddy McCue says:

    Andy Borowitz had a couple of good quips about the debate.

    He said that “a poll of likely voters who saw last night’s Republican debate found that 25% of viewers were undecided while 75% were unconscious.”

  2. SallyT says:

    AdLib, I watched only a small portion of the actual debate and I liked yours better. Bachmann still has a problem with looking directly into the camera but her makeup person is better than the last one. Personally, I want the debate between her and Palin. I would love to see a good cat fight (and I ain’t even a guy!). I didn’t hear anything new out of any of them. Didn’t hear any tell how they would actual improve or change things. I think the field will have to clear some before anyone contributes anything you might care to listen to.

  3. agrippa says:

    The GOP needs someone better than these guys. The base Democratic and GOP vote is about 45%. Both parties need about 5% more to win.
    I do not see any of them doing much better than 47/48% of the vote.

    My concern is Congress, and getting control of the HoR.

    • AdLib says:

      Or, one could say, this is the best they can possibly get. The GOP doesn’t have a pro-GOP vote over the mid 40s. They rely on whipping up hate and fear in people so they’ll vote against the Dem, in order to make it over 50%.

      That’s where we should keep our eye on the ball, defusing the campaigns of hate and fear to manipulate indies to vote against Obama. We have to keep reminding people what they are voting for!

      The folks who elected Repub Govs in FL, OH, MI and WI are learning that lesson the hard way. Even a protest vote against someone is a vote for someone else and you may just be jumping from the frying pan into the fire if you do so as blindly as many did in 2010.

  4. agrippa says:

    Politics is the art of the possible. In the USA, there is very little political room to get anything done. We do not have a working majority in the USA; and, when we do, that working majority does not last for long.

  5. agrippa says:

    45%, more or less, are going to vote for one of those people. And, most of the old Confederacy is safe Republican. The Democrats, nationally, are about the same -- 45% of the voting public will vote Democrat.
    Both parties have make sure that their faithful vote and get the extra 6% they need to win.
    These guys will have to sound much more reasonable than anyone of them do here.

    The voting public is about half of those eligible to vote. At least half the voting age population does not bother to vote.

  6. BlueStateMan says:

    The last time I saw a lineup like this, they all tumbled out of the same car at Ringling Brothers.

  7. Khirad says:

    This is a hoot -- trust me!

    Republican presidential debate in New Hampshire -- as it happened

  8. KQuark says:

    I didn’t watch the debate but I did I really need to?

    Not according to all accounts it was exactly what AdLib said it would be.

    I just caught up watching the last three episodes of the first season of Camelot on DVR which I’m sure was more progressive times than the GOP was pining for in the debate.

  9. Sabreen60 says:

    I didn’t have the stomach to watch this ‘debate'(?) But I have read some of what the candidates said. This is Bush Redux. Get rid of regulations, including repealing financial reform; get rid of the EPA -- let the polluters have at it; repeal health care; cut taxes for the wealthy. I didn’t read any solutions. Of course if anyone had asked Mitt about job creation, he would have to admit that the State of MA came in 47th at job creation when he was governor. He would also have to admit that his company bought up smaller companies, fired employees and out sourced jobs. But of course he made millions so I guess it’s all good. TPaw created 6,000 -- total- jobs in 8 years so he can’t really run on how much he knows about creating jobs.

    • Abbyrose86 says:

      Those people are shameless. Seriously.

    • AdLib says:

      Right on the mark, Sabreen, these points need to be hammered mercilessly…as well as Pawlenty leaving MN with a $6 billion deficit when he left office.

      These are all profoundly flawed candidates but we can’t take anything for granted, we have to hammer all their flaws until the public sees them splinter and crack.

    • Artist50 says:

      You summed it up well. The two high points for me were Cain wanting a barbed wire moat on our southern border filled with alligators and Paul wanting small immigrant children to bleed to death at emergency room doors. Doesn’t this take you back to GW in 2000 and compassionate conservatism?

  10. funksands says:

    “Mr. Cain: Flesh-eating bacteria or ebola?”

    “Mr. Santorum: Missionary or Reverse Cowboy?”

    “Ms. Bachmann: Medicaid or Farm Subsidies?”

    “Mr. Romney: Decaf coffee or warm tap-water?”

    • AdLib says:

      “Mr. Cain: Burn the Witch or Stone the Witch?”

      “Mr Pawlenty: Wonder Bread or American Cheese?”

      “Mr. Gingrich: Tiffany’s or Neiman Marcus?”

      “Mr. Romney: Flip or Flop”

      “Ms. Bachmann: Stepford Wives or Night of the Living Dead?”

      “Mr. Santorum: The Crusades or The Dark Ages”

      “Mr. Paul: Battlefield Earth or Road Warrior”

  11. chasethis says:

    Quick, ill thought out summary. Michele Bachmann? Better than expected. She studied, but still very Stepford. (Or should I say “Stupeford?”) Newt? On his own he occasionally resembles reasonable. That’ll cost him. Ron Paul? I love him. Will never ever vote for him. Cain? Sorry, no. Pawlenty? He, too, is almost sane, but failed as governor and has to do the tea party thing. Mitt? Good lord, what have you gotten yourself into? Who did I leave out? Santorum. I make no apologies for leaving him out.

    • KQuark says:

      How much of a bitch is Pawlenty? He blast RomneyCare as being the same as ObamaCare and says nothing in the debate.

    • AdLib says:

      I’d say Bachmann came off best to the Baggers but as you say, that Stepford aura is creepy.

      Pawlenty was definitely the biggest loser. His cowardice to face Romney and squirm away from his attack of “Obamneycare” on Romney made him look weak and spineless. For someone with Pawlenty’s spinal deficiencies coming in, that was not good.

      Mitt was his bland self, some may give him thumbs up for it but saying nothing of substance or inspiration, if that’s what passes for “good” in the GOP, they’re going to be in trouble.

      Newt was amusing in a peripheral way, he wasn’t really on stage with the others, he’s on his way out the door and that’s clear from his demeanor. And his flip-flopping on attacking Ryan’s Medicare plan, supporting mandates and championing the Defense of Marriage Act were kind of funny.

      Santorum lived up to the definition a Google search of his name would provide. I’ve seen sharks with more humanity and compassion than this guy.

      Ron Paul just seems so boring now, so one-note and predictable. Every answer is “stop government from…”. Yeah, we get it, wish you’d take your own advice and stop Ron Paul from taking our tax money as a Representative.

      And Herman Cain could have been played by a cartoon character, his views and answers were about as one-dimensional as they come.

      What the GOP seems to be campaigning on in a chorus is, “Remember what Bush did? We want to do that but more!”

      The Dems would do well to portray that for what it is and make the case, “Do you want to go back to 2008 in a bigger way or move forward?”

      Also, I think there was one excellent question that somehow snuck in amongst all the slop that was being served, it should be asked again by Dems.

      If a 5 year old illegal immigrant without insurance is seriously injured and comes to a hospital, should he be turned away?

      Nail these cruel, greedy people with specific scenarios that show the America their policies would create and they will wilt.

      • kesmarn says:

        I agree, AdLib, on the fact that the question about treating the 5 year old illegal immigrant at the hospital was the only on worth asking in the entire evening.

        If it’s possible for an event to be both frenetically paced and a yawner at the same time, this one was it.

      • Khirad says:

        This essentially says much the same,

        Romney, Bachmann dominate gracious GOP debate

        Also, definitely on the hospital question. Get them off cost and ask them a human question. See if they’ll say on mainstream TV what they say elsewhere -- and nail ’em as the heartless bastards they are.

      • Khirad says:

        In Gingrich’s Ryan answer he said that he wasn’t talking directly about Ryan’s plan (blatant lie), but then made the point that they shouldn’t pursue policy which is rejected by a resounding majority of the public (which is totally not an elliptical reference to Ryan’s plan).

        I’ll say this for Gingrich, he could teach a few of then how to massage and finesse words -- when he’s not bomb throwing. I can see how he’s gone through so many wives with that kind of smooth talking.

  12. AdLib says:

    If this is how the GOP is going to run, seems like there are just a couple of items that Obama and Dems need to run on to gain the upper hand.

    1. Do you want Medicare and Social Security killed as entitlements?

    2. Do you think that the solution to all of our problems is to make the wealthy wealthier and cutting all government services that help you?

    Also, it might be effective to describe what America would be like if the GOP got everything they wanted. It would be like a horror movie, a political remake of “Saw”.

    • kesmarn says:

      AdLib, I think if I were on the Obama campaign team, I might also consider digging up some of the footage of Dubya and Hank Paulson standing side by side, ashen-faced and sweating, literally begging Congress to pass the TARP bill. It’s out there somewhere. And I would ask people three questions: Who are these men? What are they asking for? Why?

      People need to be reminded that TARP was not Obama’s baby.

      Then I would ask them to consider whether Republicans are the folks they need to trust with handling financial matters. For example, there’s the minor issue of over 6 BILLION dollars turning up missing in Iraq. It’s reportedly the largest theft of cash in the nation’s history. Happened on Dubya’s watch, too.


      Do we want these people running the show again?

      • Buddy McCue says:

        Republican voters certainly do want to believe that everything they don’t like in government today began when Obama took office.

        But we really shouldn’t let them forget about TARP; you’re right about that. I do remember Bush and Paulson pushing this thing.

        And there’s video footage of John Boehner literally crying and begging Congress to vote for it. Rachel Maddow included that piece of film in a segment about Boehner. You can skip forward to 8:25 to see him crying over TARP.

        Rachel follows that tape with several others that show him speaking against the bailout, as though he was never for it. Shameless.

        • kesmarn says:

          Buddy, thanks so much for this valuable research.

          This is exactly what we need more of right now. We need to have side-by-side video and sound showing just how duplicitous these people — everyone of them — really are.

          “Crying about something in public is not the same thing as meaning to fix the problem that makes you cry.” Well said, Rachel.

  13. Khirad says:

    From the tweetboard up top:

    ezraklein Seriously, John King? You were cutting the Afghanistan discussion short so you could ask people to compliment Palin?


    This will hurt them come the general. Someone will have to throw her under her own big bus sooner or later.

    • AdLib says:

      Palin throws herself under her own bus on a regular basis, hence her high negatives.

      I don’t think any GOP candidates will criticize Palin, they’ll need her rallying Baggers for them if they win.

      • Khirad says:

        Even in a general? It’d make a great Obama third party campaign ad. Tie X candidate to Palin as often as possible. And if they buckle under the pressure, as you’ve said, they’ve lost the baggers for such treachery.

  14. AdLib says:

    I don’t see one candidate that couldn’t be crushed by an Obama armed with facts.

    The GOP really doesn’t put any value on truth, the BS and lies are embraced so casually…and in response, John King smiles and asks them “Mary Ann or Ginger?”.


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