I will be dusting off the remote buttons that switch the channel to CNN, a station I haven’t watched in a very long time, to watch The Ringling Brothers and Grand Old Party’s Debate tonight. Unlike the usual circus, the clowns won’t be in the sideshow, they’re in the center ring.

My expectations are low, I wouldn’t expect much in the way of fireworks. As this is the first real debate of the race, there will be a bit of caution as they try to get their footing…which isn’t easy when wearing those oversized clown shoes.

GOP debates are typically just the old one-upmanship on cutting taxes, Americanism, exploiting fear and anger and in this cycle, insulting the black president. The theme song to most GOP primary debates should be a redo of Etehel Merman singing that classic song from “Annie Get Your Gun”:

Anything you can do,
I can do better.
I can do anything
Better than you.
No, you can’t.
Yes, I can
No, you can’t.
Yes, I can,
Yes, I can!

I can spout “traitor”
As a racist hater.
I can get a Bagger
As a knuckle dragger.
I’ll win on hate and fear.
Are you on the level?
Yes.
So can the Devil!

Any depth you can reach
I can go lower.
I can go anywhere
Lower than you.
No, you can’t.
Yes, I can.
No, you can’t.
Yes, I CAN!

Any tax you can cut
I can cut bigger.
I can cut any tax
Bigger than you.

Fifty billion?
Sixty billion!
Seventy billion?
Eighty billion!
No, you can’t!
Yes, I can,
Yes, I can!

Any “God” you can say
I can say louder.
I can say any “God”
Louder than you.
No, you can’t.
Yes, I can.
YES, I CAN!

I can sell myself out
Faster than a shout.
I can spread lies quicker
And get even sicker!
I can oppress any poor.
And make them ask for more?
Sure.
That’s what Repubs are for–
you whore!

Any mud you can sling
I can sling harder.
I can sling any mud
harder than you. No, you can’t.
Yes, I can

No, you can’t.
Yes, I  ca-a-a-an!

As to the specifics of this debate, here’s what I think we’ll see:

Romney will try to look reasonable, Presidential and will pander to the TP by getting in as many insults and condemnations on Obama as possible. But no real solutions to jobs except giving the “job creators” more wealth (to spend on outsourcing jobs to China, India and the 3rd World). He will also detach his head to display that it really looks human when it’s not on his robot body.

Pawlenty will attack Romney on Romneycare and as Romney is the front runner, he will likely take some shots from all sides. When Pawlenty finishes each comment, the audience will awake feeling very rested.

Newt will struggle to prove he’s viable and still in the race but will fail. Before the final statements by each candidate, Newt will be suddenly discovered missing, having left the debate before it is over to attend an auction with Callista at Christie’s for Napoleonic era chandeliers.

Bachmann will declare that MN was one of the original 13 states.

Ron Paul will rail against all government and will furiously debate himself as being part of the problem as an elected official.

Herman Cain will announce that he will send all Muslims and gays to prison just for existing, as part of his “What Would Jesus Do” platform.

Rick Santorum will hold up indecent photos of Anthony Weiner while both decrying the display of such images and having to take a step back from his podium because of how excited it gets him.

And at the end, Snow White will come out and lead all seven in a chorus of “Hi Ho, Hi Ho” as they march off the stage behind her.

Yep…we’ve seen it all before.

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Buddy McCue
Member

Andy Borowitz had a couple of good quips about the debate.

He said that “a poll of likely voters who saw last night’s Republican debate found that 25% of viewers were undecided while 75% were unconscious.”
http://www.borowitzreport.com/

SallyT
Member

AdLib, I watched only a small portion of the actual debate and I liked yours better. Bachmann still has a problem with looking directly into the camera but her makeup person is better than the last one. Personally, I want the debate between her and Palin. I would love to see a good cat fight (and I ain’t even a guy!). I didn’t hear anything new out of any of them. Didn’t hear any tell how they would actual improve or change things. I think the field will have to clear some before anyone contributes anything you might care to listen to.

agrippa
Member
agrippa

The GOP needs someone better than these guys. The base Democratic and GOP vote is about 45%. Both parties need about 5% more to win.
I do not see any of them doing much better than 47/48% of the vote.

My concern is Congress, and getting control of the HoR.

agrippa
Member
agrippa

Politics is the art of the possible. In the USA, there is very little political room to get anything done. We do not have a working majority in the USA; and, when we do, that working majority does not last for long.

agrippa
Member
agrippa

45%, more or less, are going to vote for one of those people. And, most of the old Confederacy is safe Republican. The Democrats, nationally, are about the same – 45% of the voting public will vote Democrat.
Both parties have make sure that their faithful vote and get the extra 6% they need to win.
These guys will have to sound much more reasonable than anyone of them do here.

The voting public is about half of those eligible to vote. At least half the voting age population does not bother to vote.

BlueStateMan
Guest

The last time I saw a lineup like this, they all tumbled out of the same car at Ringling Brothers.

Khirad
Member

This is a hoot – trust me!

Republican presidential debate in New Hampshire – as it happened
http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/richard-adams-blog/2011/jun/14/republican-debate-new-hampshire-live?CMP=twt_gu

funksands
Member

Khirad, you were right. Really well done.

Oh and CNN sucks.

KQµårk 死神
Member

I didn’t watch the debate but I did I really need to?

Not according to all accounts it was exactly what AdLib said it would be.

I just caught up watching the last three episodes of the first season of Camelot on DVR which I’m sure was more progressive times than the GOP was pining for in the debate.

Sabreen60
Member
Sabreen60

I didn’t have the stomach to watch this ‘debate'(?) But I have read some of what the candidates said. This is Bush Redux. Get rid of regulations, including repealing financial reform; get rid of the EPA – let the polluters have at it; repeal health care; cut taxes for the wealthy. I didn’t read any solutions. Of course if anyone had asked Mitt about job creation, he would have to admit that the State of MA came in 47th at job creation when he was governor. He would also have to admit that his company bought up smaller companies, fired employees and out sourced jobs. But of course he made millions so I guess it’s all good. TPaw created 6,000 – total- jobs in 8 years so he can’t really run on how much he knows about creating jobs.

Abbyrose86
Member

Those people are shameless. Seriously.

Artist50
Member
Artist50

You summed it up well. The two high points for me were Cain wanting a barbed wire moat on our southern border filled with alligators and Paul wanting small immigrant children to bleed to death at emergency room doors. Doesn’t this take you back to GW in 2000 and compassionate conservatism?

Sabreen60
Member
Sabreen60

Unfreakingbelievable. Rachel did a story about TN (I think, but am not sure) repealing child labor laws.

funksands
Member

“Mr. Cain: Flesh-eating bacteria or ebola?”

“Mr. Santorum: Missionary or Reverse Cowboy?”

“Ms. Bachmann: Medicaid or Farm Subsidies?”

“Mr. Romney: Decaf coffee or warm tap-water?”

chasethis
Member
chasethis

Quick, ill thought out summary. Michele Bachmann? Better than expected. She studied, but still very Stepford. (Or should I say “Stupeford?”) Newt? On his own he occasionally resembles reasonable. That’ll cost him. Ron Paul? I love him. Will never ever vote for him. Cain? Sorry, no. Pawlenty? He, too, is almost sane, but failed as governor and has to do the tea party thing. Mitt? Good lord, what have you gotten yourself into? Who did I leave out? Santorum. I make no apologies for leaving him out.

KQµårk 死神
Member

How much of a bitch is Pawlenty? He blast RomneyCare as being the same as ObamaCare and says nothing in the debate.

Khirad
Member

From the tweetboard up top:

ezraklein Seriously, John King? You were cutting the Afghanistan discussion short so you could ask people to compliment Palin?

—-

This will hurt them come the general. Someone will have to throw her under her own big bus sooner or later.

Khirad
Member

Partitioning Iraq = more mayhem?

Follow up, follow up!

How and why?

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