In the face of losing this election in a landslide to President Obama and the Democrats, Republicans have responded in their predictable way, denying reality.
Many Repubs claim that now that he’s won, Obama has to conform to the Romney agenda to prove his bipartisanship. Karl Rove claims that spending over $300 million of billionaires’ money and getting nothing in return…is a win because they could’ve lost by bigger margins. House Republicans claim that because they didn’t lose big enough to lose control of The House (though they did lose seats in The House as they did in The Senate), it is a mandate by the people that they want Republicans to block Obama’s agenda. In a press conference today, John Boehner was asked if he respected that 60% of voters said in exit polls on Election Day that they wanted the wealthy to pay more in taxes and his response was to ignore the American majority and just blather on about helping the wealthy…er…helping them create jobs, of course (while repeating the outright lie that a majority of small businesses would be taxed higher…when the truth is that 97% of small businesses would be unaffected because they’re not in that 3%…but hedge fund managers and certain big corporations are).
So, since it is crystal clear that Republicans can’t accept reality when it doesn’t conform to what they want to believe, they can’t admit mistakes and they won’t be deterred from their agenda no matter how much they are rejected by voters, I wondered what the Republican response would be if they had been in charge of the Titanic when it hit that iceberg and sunk. Here is an estimation of the responses we might have gotten from some of the more prominent Republican figures:
THE GOP RESPONSE TO THE TITANIC SINKING ON THEIR WATCH
Hold on, I think it’s far too early to say that the Titanic sunk. I have been refreshing my news browser and there is still 3% of the Titanic that is not below water so I find it quite curious and premature to declare that the Titanic has sunk. I have it on good authority that the 3% that hasn’t sunk is trending higher. Who knows, before this is all over, it could be that the Titanic completely resurfaces on its own. We need to wait until 100% of the Titanic is underwater before we can be sure of anything.
It’s not that the Titanic sunk, it’s that the water rose over it. That does not mean that the Titanic is not seaworthy or that there is anything wrong with the Titanic. In fact, I have reserved a week’s charter on the Titanic for our annual Republican Party retreat because we are convicted to the belief that the Titanic is the greatest, unsinkable ship in the world and even the ocean rising over it won’t change my commitment or absolute belief in it.
We are open to the possibility of the Titanic not currently being afloat but at the same time, we are not willing to accept any proposition that says ships should steer away from icebergs. Instead, we support a policy that in the future, ships steer towards areas that are devoid of icebergs. And just to be clear, we see the fact that some people survived in lifeboats as an affirmation that many people are glad they were saved by us and that they support more experiences on more Titanics just like this.
First of all, can I just say that the use of lifeboats, which were totally unnecessary because the Titanic wasn’t sinking and didn’t sink, reflects the socialist nanny-state that these left wing Marxists are trying to force down our throats. Lifeboats are unAmerican. Americans believe in self-sufficiency. Those who want to survive and swim in freezing water, deserve to survive. Those who are too lazy and dependent on flotation devices shouldn’t suck up all our resources into making lifeboats, they should get some initiative and tread freezing water. Far as I’m concerned, we should hope more ships sink, I think the Founders would agree that it would only make us stronger as a country. In fact, I think we should change our national motto from “Home of the Brave” to “Sink or Swim”!
The reason that the Titanic may have sank, and I’m not saying it did, had nothing to do with the Republicans who were at the helm. How do I know that? Easy, they were white. What no doubt sunk the Titanic if it did sink were all the illegal immigrants who sneaked onto the boat and were alleged to have been hiding in the hold, making more and more anchor babies that weighed down the ship and caused the Titanic to dip lower and lower into the ocean…and eventually sink. Allegedly. Now they’re trying to escape responsibility and blame an iceberg for it and I know exactly why they’re doing that…it’s white. Have you ever seen an iceberg that wasn’t? So make the white iceberg the bad guy who’s responsible for everything that goes wrong! What people have to understand is that this is the end of the traditional American cruise, all of these non-white passengers so overloaded the ship, there was no room for white passengers to look down on them. It is a sad day for America, not because of the alleged loss of many lives but because it marks the end of an era…when upper class tickets could only be bought by the upper class.
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