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AdLib On November - 9 - 2012

In the face of losing this election in a landslide to President Obama and the Democrats, Republicans have responded in their predictable way, denying reality.

Many Repubs claim that now that he’s won, Obama has to conform to the Romney agenda to prove his bipartisanship. Karl Rove claims that spending over $300 million of billionaires’ money and getting nothing in return…is a win because they could’ve lost by bigger margins. House Republicans claim that because they didn’t lose big enough to lose control of The House (though they did lose seats in The House as they did in The Senate), it is a mandate by the people that they want Republicans to block Obama’s agenda. In a press conference today, John Boehner was asked if he respected that 60% of voters said in exit polls on Election Day that they wanted the wealthy to pay more in taxes and his response was to ignore the American majority and just blather on about helping the wealthy…er…helping them create jobs, of course (while repeating the outright lie that a majority of small businesses would be taxed higher…when the truth is that 97% of small businesses would be unaffected because they’re not in that 3%…but hedge fund managers and certain big corporations are).

So, since it is crystal clear that Republicans can’t accept reality when it doesn’t conform to what they want to believe, they can’t admit mistakes and they won’t be deterred from their agenda no matter how much they are rejected by voters, I wondered what the Republican response would be if they had been in charge of the Titanic when it hit that iceberg and sunk. Here is an estimation of the responses we might have gotten from some of the more prominent Republican figures:

THE GOP RESPONSE TO THE TITANIC SINKING ON THEIR WATCH

 Karl Rove:

Hold on, I think it’s far too early to say that the Titanic sunk. I have been refreshing my news browser and there is still 3% of the Titanic that is not below water so I find it quite curious and premature to declare that the Titanic has sunk. I have it on good authority that the 3% that hasn’t sunk is trending higher. Who knows, before this is all over, it could be that the Titanic completely resurfaces on its own. We need to wait until 100% of the Titanic is underwater before we can be sure of anything.

Mitch McConnell:

It’s not that the Titanic sunk, it’s that the water rose over it. That does not mean that the Titanic is not seaworthy or that there is anything wrong with the Titanic. In fact, I have reserved a week’s charter on the Titanic for our annual Republican Party retreat because we are convicted to the belief that the Titanic is the greatest, unsinkable ship in the world and even the ocean rising over it won’t change my commitment or absolute belief in it.

John Boehner:

We are open to the possibility of the Titanic not currently being afloat but at the same time, we are not willing to accept any proposition that says ships should steer away from icebergs. Instead, we support a policy that in the future, ships steer towards areas that are devoid of icebergs. And just to be clear, we see the fact that some people survived in lifeboats as an affirmation that many people are glad they were saved by us and that they support more experiences on more Titanics just like this.

Rush Limbaugh:

First of all, can I just say that the use of lifeboats, which were totally unnecessary because the Titanic wasn’t sinking and didn’t sink,  reflects the socialist nanny-state that these left wing Marxists are trying to force down our throats. Lifeboats are unAmerican. Americans believe in self-sufficiency. Those who want to survive and swim in freezing water, deserve to survive. Those who are too lazy and dependent on flotation devices shouldn’t suck up all our resources into making lifeboats, they should get some initiative and tread freezing water. Far as I’m concerned, we should hope more ships sink, I think the Founders would agree that it would only make us stronger as a country. In fact, I think we should change our national motto from “Home of the Brave” to “Sink or Swim”!

 Bill O’Reilly:

The reason that the Titanic may have sank, and I’m not saying it did, had nothing to do with the Republicans who were at the helm. How do I know that? Easy, they were white. What no doubt sunk the Titanic if it did sink were all the illegal immigrants who sneaked onto the boat and were alleged to have been hiding in the hold, making more and more anchor babies that weighed down the ship and caused the Titanic to dip lower and lower into the ocean…and eventually sink. Allegedly. Now they’re trying to escape responsibility and blame an iceberg for it and I know exactly why they’re doing that…it’s white. Have you ever seen an iceberg that wasn’t? So make the white iceberg the bad guy who’s responsible for everything that goes wrong! What people have to understand is that this is the end of the traditional American cruise, all of these non-white passengers so overloaded the ship, there was no room for white passengers to look down on them.  It is a sad day for America, not because of the alleged loss of many lives but because it marks the end of an era…when upper class tickets could only be bought by the upper class.

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What the GOP Would Have Said if They Helmed the Titanic, 10.0 out of 10 based on 3 ratings

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

29 Responses so far.

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  1. GirlOutWest says:

    It’s not nice to find joy in other’s misery but I found their excuses and denials…delicious!

    As always, even in defeat, the “Right” was so wrong. It was a great day for America.

    Nice piece AdLib!

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  2. Nirek says:

    Adlib, that was great! You have gotten to the essence of all of the GOPers. I had to laugh at how well you got Limpblah.

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  3. Todd Akin:

    I question whether the sinking of the HMS Titanic was cause by a ‘legitimate’ collision with an iceberg aka ‘sea sperm’ at all. As we know ships are considered to be female in nature. So the HMS Titanic sunk because she was asking for it. Because if it was a ‘legitimate’ collision with a ‘sea sperm’ where HMS Titanic was not at fault ships have natural ways of avoiding getting sunk. This is the way marine engineers explained it to me. In the end whatever happened to the HMS Titanic we should stop investigating anyway because after all it was God’s plan that she sunk.

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  4. SallyT says:

    Good one, AdLib! I’m sure O’Reilly was also blaming those 3rd class passengers for the ship sinking because they were the ones wanting more free stuff, like life preservers. I mean, they have no appreciation, after all the band kept playing “Closer To God Are Thee”! They were non-Christians! And, to think, they expected to get on a life boat without a first class ticket! You have to have been a job creator to have a first class ticket. Many of those foreigners were on their way to America because we are the most powerful country in the world. They heard of all the free stuff we have, too, and Obama doesn’t make you work for any of it if you promise to vote Democrat once you are registered or commit voter fraud. Can you believe them? To think, most of those first class ticket holders have their money in those immigrants home countries. Not to avoid taxes in the USA but because they need it there for when they travel. Thank goodness, most of those first class ticket holders still have their private jets! :)

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    • AdLib says:

      Sally, think of the free stuff like air those third class passengers felt they were entitled to. Takers! And all the whining from them, “We’re locked in down here!”, “We’re drowning!”, everything is always about them and what they want for free.

      The biggest problem with the third class passengers on the Titanic is that they didn’t like trickle down.

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      • SallyT says:

        :lol: AdLib, you are so right! There was no way those third class passengers were ever going to understand trickle down theory. That was way over their heads. They just weren’t smart. I mean, anyone knows that when a boat sinks and you are in the water, you have to swim for it. No not them. Once they hit the water, they just froze there. What were they thinking? Like they were entitled to a free ride on a life boat? See, free stuff is all they think of. I bet they even were expecting a free cup of hot tea instead of ice water. They just aren’t traditional Americans!

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  5. eportlow says:

    This is a truly excellent piece and worthy of as wide of distribution as possible. Adlib is a writer’s writer!

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  6. choicelady says:

    Wonderful stuff as always, AdLib! I think you’ve caught the GOP meme perfectly: whatever went wrong, it’s not our fault. Ever.

    Election night when Karl was whirling back and forth, my very first thought was that he’d been promise flipped votes by the OH Sec’y of State and could NOT believe they had not been delivered. That, I truly believe, was what he was looking for.

    When it turned out Romney had been told all along he was winning -- a fact utterly belied by Rove’s daily tally -- it was because his entire staff had been forced to lie to him. Later that night right after his concession speech, he cancelled ALL the campaign credit cards -- people couldn’t get cabs, pay for their rooms, food, anything. When he told us “I like to fire people who provide me with services” the STAFF knew that was true. They could not tell him the truth about his failures because heads would have rolled.

    The GOP has nothing to offer us or even one another but lies. When it all comes crashing down, when their cruise ship sinks, they are in utter disbelief. Their life preserver was thwarted by the DoJ and through them the federal courts. They simply cannot believe a Black man is better than they, beat them again, and took away all their dreams of restoring a white aristocracy once again. The finger pointing will go on forever. All we can do is sit back in our sea-worthy ships and smile.

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    • AdLib says:

      Thanks CL!

      I was thinking the same thing about Rove, he seemed to be acting like he was promised votes by Husted to derail the actual count and he was screwed. Then again, it also fit that he was so deluded that reality was like an illegitimate rape to him,

      I don’t think Romney’s aides knowingly misled him about his chances, the whole GOP appeared to be living in a parallel universe throughout the GE. Just like Romney, they all seemed to believe in magical thinking, that they were entitled to the Presidency and that their feelings about this being destiny were more reliable than Nate Silver and polls.

      I thought he was faking confidence in the last few days, I wondered how he could come off so unaffected by his descent in the polls. Then again, anyone who can convince themselves that their underwear is magical and protects them from harm…or that they can lie incessantly and still come off as trustworthy, could believe anything.

      When Repubs mess up in a big way, I always think of what I think Rove once told a reporter while Bush was President:

      We’re an empire now, and when we act, we create our own reality. And while you’re studying that reality—judiciously, as you will—we’ll act again, creating other new realities, which you can study too, and that’s how things will sort out. We’re history’s actors … and you, all of you, will be left to just study what we do.”

      They believe that because they’re “superior”, they create reality.

      Maybe not so much now?

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  7. :lol: love the Titanic metaphors and you are spot on with how the right wing would spin the disaster.

    The accounts I’ve heard from the last minutes in the Romney bunker sound priceless. Especially the reactions from Romney’s and Ryan’s wives, Eva and Magda, respectively.

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  8. SueInCa says:

    Adlib

    I wish I could come up with this stuff like you do. The best I could do was my MSM piece and I have not had the energy to listen to the MSM for that long a time to do another.

    This is all true, although if it were me, I would have made McConnell way worse. That statement he put out election night made me furious. I just shake my head all day long with these idiots. And of course I yell at the television and that is not good.

    It is like you are dealing with school children, heck even my Anthony can reason better than some of them. Sometimes I wish I could just sit down and talk to one of these people. I wonder if I would be totally drained when I was through? My bet is yes.

    I broke a fingernail way down yesterday and I am having a hard time typing. I keep having to go back so if my spelling looks bad, that is why.

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    • AdLib says:

      You’ve contributed some killer articles here, Sue, you’re being quite modest.

      McConnell is just too easy a target to make nasty because he is so plainly that. His mouth is so nasty it is mercilessly devouring the rest of his face.

      The Repubs are bratty children, I’ve used that metaphor many times but it is truly the way things are. Like a brat, they want everything their way, they want to grab the candy out of other kids’ hands because they’re greedy, they don’t care about the future and just do what they want today and never clean up after themselves.

      Very sorry about your finger! Maybe you could hire Mitt Romney as your typing assistant, I here he’s unemployed right now.

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      • SueInCa says:

        Aw hellll no he would probably break my finger. No thank you no way. The thing is you come up with the imaginative stuff. I have a hard time with that although I did well on the msm piece but I don’t have the natural knack for it like you seem to.

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  9. kesmarn says:

    Ah, Adlib, so true.

    In typical Republican fashion, none of these guys could envision himself in any way as part of the solution. (Because working toward solutions is just so not what they do.)

    Let’s face it, Rush and Rove could have saved the day on the Titanic. Since fat floats, they could have been life-boats.

    And the sails on those boats could have been filled by O’Reilly and Mitch’s hot air.

    Boehner’s Orange-Glo could have lit the way through the dark night waters.

    And Clint could have made sure there were plenty of chairs to move around that deck for all.

    But, no. In their negative way, they insist on seeing the first class cabins as half-empty.

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  10. glenn says:

    Well done, AdLib! I especially like the rushtoidiocylimpbag slogan of “Sink or Swim”.

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  11. escribacat says:

    Hilarious!! :lol:

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  12. If I didn’t know these slimeballs as I do, I would say, unbelievable. But knowing them as I do, I would really expect nothing less. Reality just doesn’t exist among these morons.

    If Romney’s loss could be somehow associated with the moon, Limbaugh and his crew would be flapping their gums about the moon landing was a hoax.

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