In an unprecedented action, CNN, MSNBC and Fox News have filed a joint lawsuit against the disease, Ebola, for $2.3 billion alleging they are incurring financial damages due to Ebola’s under-performance and as they term it, “irresponsible behavior unfitting a killer virus”.
This comes on the heels of the Center for Disease Control announcing today that 44 of 48 people have been cleared of being under watch for Ebola after having contact with Thomas Eric Duncan who died of Ebola in Dallas.
Roger Ailes defended the lawsuit, explaining, “Look, at Fox we know a thing or two about virulent public threats to our nation and in our opinion, ebola has shown incredibly bad faith by not fulfilling its responsibilities to the fear-based news structure upon which the entire U.S.’s media networks are based. And to the media, that’s scary.”
Jeff Zucker, president of CNN Worldwide, added, “We trusted Ebola, we looked for the worst in it, investing a great deal of resources in slashing our staff while promoting boundless terror in Ebola’s name and this is the thanks we get? 44 of 48 don’t get Ebola? And the other 4 may be cleared soon? Really? We’ve got ads to sell to oil companies trying to put a good face on spreading cancer through fracking, they don’t want to be associated with something as disrespectable as Ebola.”
MSNBC President Phil Griffin expressed dismay at Ebola’s failure to provide an actual epidemic as they and the other news stations promoted. “In any partnership situation, if one party can’t trust the other to perform, it is a breech of faith and an actionable breech of contract. Ebola has happily taken all the publicity we’ve delivered on its behalf and when it came time for Ebola to deliver, it came up way short. When we add up the amount we’ve spent in scary graphics, threatening intro music and acting lessons for our show’s hosts to look grim and unnerved over Ebola sweeping the nation, it’s quite substantial. We and the other networks are suing because of the incredible losses we’ve suffered due to Americans not suffering incredible losses.”
Meanwhile, it was also announced today that attorney Mark O’Mara, who was the defense attorney for George Zimmerman, will be representing Ebola in this lawsuit. O’Mara declared, “Some may ask me why I would represent an unrepentant killing virus that threatens the piece of mind of millions of Americans and I tell them that George Zimmerman was entitled to a defense. As for Ebola, our position is that these news networks looked suspicious and attacked my client first so it had every right to respond as it did in self-defense.”
Ebola has filed a counter-suit claiming that being associated with CNN, MSNBC and Fox News has harmed its reputation.