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AdLib On March - 27 - 2014

fox henhouse

In an attempt to get to the bottom of the Bridgegate scandal, Chris Christie appointed Randy Mastro, his own attorney, to manage an independent investigation which surprisingly has cleared him of any wrongdoing and finds him to be the slimmest and most sexually attractive Governor in the U.S.

What is not widely known is that Christie had also hired his wife, Mary Pat Foster, to do a “Super Independent Investigation”.

Following in the footsteps of the Mastro investigation, Foster did not interview any of the principle parties but just used documents and her gut feelings to arrive at her conclusions. PlanetPOV has obtained an early release of the Foster Report that concludes the following:

  • Chris Christie knew nothing about the lane closures on the George Washington Bridge but knows everything about everything else and would make a great President.
  • Christie’s detractors and those alleging his wrongdoing are involved in the Benghazi cover up.
  • The real victims in Bridgegate were not the thousands of residents stuck in massive traffic jams, those waiting for emergency vehicles to arrive or those lied to and deceived, the real victims are Chris Christie and his family who had heavily invested in printing up “President Christie” t-shirts.
  • Christie is really nice. Really, really nice. And that fact comes from documents. Mostly birthday cards he’s written to his family.
  • By commissioning two independent investigation that his lawyer and wife have conducted, Christie has proven beyond any doubt that he is innocent and that he only wants to get to the bottom of this issue.
  • Hi honey, I’ve made your favorite pork butt for dinner, with extra butt just the way you like it!

Those closely watching the case are awaiting the “Super Extra Independent Investigation” that his children are conducting.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

59 Responses so far.

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  1. jjgravitas says:

    Christie must believe the American public, or his constituents anyway, are completely stupid, for him to put on an obvious snow job like that and expect the public to buy it. What’s he playin’ at? He could have his dog do the investigation and it’d be just as plausible.

    • AdLib says:

      jjgravitas, this is not an slam of all NJ residents, I’ve got good and smart friends from there but let’s face it, a majority in the state have acted like rubes for Christie to easily deceive and I think Christie’s take away from that is that all Americans are as easy to dupe.

      Of course, that’s not the case and so Christie is destroying himself further with such frauds amongst indies and Dems across the country.

      And I’ll bet many NJ residents now wish they could change their vote for him.

  2. kesmarn says:


  3. CAdawn says:

    My lawyer, paid with taxpayer funds, has found me innocent of any wrongdoing or knowledge of any wrongdoing. Therefore, I am completely able and willing to run for President.
    As we smart men know, it’s always some woman having “issues” that try to bring us men down!

    • AdLib says:

      CAdawn, that about sums it up! And what a trifecta, stealing $1 million from NJ taxpayers for a phony report that demeans women as emotional basket cases.

      If that ain’t a formula for attracting voters (especially women voters) to win the Presidency, I don’t know what is.

      Well…maybe I do and it sure ain’t that!

  4. James Michael Brodie says:

    Why do I get the feeling that the children’s “investigation” will include a reference to a helicopter?

    • AdLib says:

      James, now that would be a lot more of an investigation than the sham Mastro presented.

      I do think that report will reveal that Christie always takes the last lamb chop without asking if anyone else wants it.

  5. Well Ad, I guess it’s “case closed,” now! Boy am I relieved. I thought for sure my favorite governor was in trouble. But if HIS own lawyer says he had nothing to do with the bridge closure, that’s good enough for me.

    Gertrude the Gullible


    • AdLib says:

      KT, it does make you wonder if Christie can really be that stupid to have thought this ham handed ploy would work or if the people of NJ have been letting him get away with lying to them so much that he assumed the rest of the U.S. would be just as accommodating.

      Thanks for the link, that article confirms what I thought was going on. Even Fox has nailed him on this??? How funny, as the article says, not the headlines Christie was looking for at all. And, this has all only strengthened the image of him as dishonest and corrupt.

  6. Dimbulb2 says:

    well done

    I re-posted on the fox news site
    that should be fun

    • AdLib says:

      Dimbulb2, thanks! What would be funniest is if they don’t even know it’s satirical! RWs are well known for their inability to recognize sarcasm, look at how many think Colbert is really a Repub!

  7. Nirek says:

    Ad, I laughed all the way through the article and responses. There is nothing I can add to make it better. Thanks for having such a good sense of humor.

  8. monicaangela says:

    Talking about conflict of interest, it appears Christie is King of New Jersey, not Governor and his family appears to be cashing in, living off the labor of the serfs that live in that State. Remember this:

    How much did the taxpayers of that state pay the family for that? And now we find that they have found another way of extracting tax dollars from the either unsuspecting or helpless citizens of their State. Thanks Adlib for reporting on this, it is something I haven’t heard or seen in MSM reporting.

    • AdLib says:

      Hi monicaangela, nice to see you!

      And don’t forget to add onto that the $12 million or more he robbed from taxpayers to pay for the special election Cory Booker won, so that Booker voters wouldn’t show up 20 days later for the regular election and his margin of victory would be bigger. That was a $12 million donation to Christie’s Presidential campaign paid for by NJ taxpayers.

      And the $68 million he had signed over to be paid to HGI, a campaign contributor of his that was administrating the Sandy Relief fund…but wasn’t giving out money while taking plenty for itself?

      Christie is so dirty, the U.S. Attorney should be able to find plenty on him. Christie is so over but what amuses me is that he’s running around like he can sleaze his way out of everything. This BS report looks so lame to any objective eye, in itself showing how truly corrupt he is.

      I do hope he runs though and suffers a crushing loss in the GOP primary…before being prosecuted and jailed of course, that’s my Christie trifecta!

      • monicaangela says:

        Exactly, he has worked his way through every law enforcement agency in the State of New Jersey and as U.S. Attorney under Bush I’m sure he collected enough information on those that could expose him for what he is, it is probably virtually impossible for anyone in the State to take him down.

        It appears Christie is confident that no matter what he does he will never be held accountable for it because he “knows too much” this ridiculous report shows his disrespect for the intelligence of every citizen in this nation, he conducts himself like George Bush on steroids.

        I agree with you, I hope he runs, and I hope those that have the ability to expose him for what he really is will be courageous enough to do so.

        If he does run and if he is exposed and prosecuted,that is one trial I will attend, no matter where it is held. If he is jailed, I will begin to believe in our justice system again. LOL !!!

    • Kalima says:

      Hi monicaangela. To watch YouTube videos here, you just add a “v” to http like this, httpv:// then the videos will play. Just fixed them for you.

      • monicaangela says:

        Thank you so much Kalima. I will try to remember that in the future. By the way, I notice you are having a bit of a problem with the Morning Blog (subscriptions) how can I help? Have you given up doing it or do you plan to continue?

        • Kalima says:

          My pleasure.

          I try to do it as often as the paywalls allow, but every day as I used to has become a problem.

          Will post updates on your Sunday morning, so if you are interested it would be great to see you there. Thanks for asking and welcome back to The Planet. :)

  9. pinkpantheroz says:

    I have just completed my own independant investigation. If you wish me to find Gov. Christie had nothing to do with Bridgegate, please forward $1,000,000 to my offshore account. Otherwise…….. HE DONE IT!!!

  10. Dbos says:

    Why didn’t Nixon think of that ? Oh yea he did; it was a different time when the press were not a fully owned subsidiary of the republikan party so he couldn’t have gotten away with it; now we have a world so full of lies and deceit; an entire news station lies all day long, bought off congressmen lie all day long ;an entire political party is based upon lies and they are successfully buying and winning the battle for the soul of our country.

    • AdLib says:

      Dbos, Christie is very Nixonian, remember how he even said, “I am not a bully”?

      Fox may spread lies but they do so only to the same moronic audience that hates the black President anyway. At least most of the MSM has called out this BS report for what it is. Christie is an idiot to think that such an obvious scheme would work on the majority of Americans, it just makes him look more guilty and scheming.

      • Dbos says:

        Agree ;Great article by the way;you were out front on his thinking we are all as gullible as the Tea Partiers.

        • AdLib says:

          Thanks Dbos, it’s always hubris that brings down bullies like Christie and his thinking he can toss his weak BS at the nation and have it accepted as it has been in NJ only hastens his downfall.

    • pinkpantheroz says:

      What soul? The 1% who own and run this poor place have no soul. We’re DOOMED, Captain!

  11. choicelady says:

    Well -- I know I feel sooooo much better knowing that $1 million of NJ’s tax dollars went into this thoughtful, in-depth report. Obviously the allegations were the work of unhinged women (always true in the GOP firmament) and have no shred of truth.

    Christie is the sun, the moon, and the stars and would never EVER do something unprincipled or mean. And you can take Mrs. C’s word for it because she knows him better than ANYONE, of course.

    Think of the money this report saved the US taxpayers. Now the DOJ can stand down, assured that there is nothing to investigate. MAJOR public service for Christie’s lawyers to do this so selflessly. I’m sure they worked pro bono, aren’t you?

    Well reported Ad Lib. Thank you. Now I can sleep well again. Thank you.

    • AdLib says:

      My pleasure, CL, just doing my job as a journalist and making up stuff.

      And it is a GOP twofer, whitewashing corruption of a Repub Governor AND portraying women as evil and helpless pawns of their emotions, incapable of functioning rationally when a man dumps them.

  12. funksands says:


  13. kesmarn says:

    Oh, and I meant to add that the “Super Extra Independent Investigation” that the Christie Kiddies are preparing might not be the hymn of praise that His Majesty Don de la Donnie Chris is anticipating. Rumor has it that the disgruntled offspring have been saving up transcripts and video of Crisco on the Homefront — complete with expletives not deleted and flying crockery.

    That’ll put the final nail in the Presidential Aspirationish Coffin.

    They hope.

    • AdLib says:

      Kes, the bombshell that could come out of the Christie Kids Independent Report is how he would first give them milk money for school then would beat them up and take it.

      • NoManIsAnIsland says:

        AdLib, I think you’re starting to have it in for poor Gov. Christie. Bombshell-smombshell!

        In giving his kids milk money for school and
        then beating them up and taking it, Christie is really doing them the greatest favor — short of maiming them — he can. He’s showing them Republican tough love and preparing them for life in his brave new U$A!

        • AdLib says:

          NoMan, can’t argue with that, it’s the perfect teaching tool of the Republican attitude towards the needy.

          And if they can take candy away from a baby to top it off, that’s the cherry on the Repub sundae.

  14. NoManIsAnIsland says:

    AdLib, you’ve done yourself proud in putting your seal of approval on the great job Gov. Christie’s personal lawyer, Randy Mastro, has
    done in clearing his name once and for all, or maybe not at all.

    I can’t think of anyone who could be more suited than Randy to do a completely impartial and independent investigation of Christie’s alleged involvement in Bridgegate (except a federal prosecutor, perhaps). Lordy me, just think of what would happen to his reputation if his conclusion were found to be tainted by the extremely tenuous connection he might have with Gov. Christie as his personal lawyer and separated-at-birth conjoined twin! I don’t know him, but I’m sure Randy’s word is as good as his bail — I mean his BOND!

    And I agree with your superb judgment on Christie’s wife Mary Pat Foster’s “Super Independent Investigation.” As someone who would never have married an overbearing, blustering, bullying, corrupt, hypocritical, lying, selfish, and vainglorious snake in the grass of
    a person and governor, the validity of her grueling and hard-hitting investigation speaks for itself in its searing objectivity.

    There’s no question that as Gov. Christie has survived the ordeal of fire of the two most rigorous examinations he would want to be subjected to, there is no need for the state of New Jersey or the federal government to pursue the matter any further.

    Or is there? 😉

    • AdLib says:

      Heh! You’re right, NoMan, no need to investigate Christie any further now that his own lawyer and wife have concluded he did nothing wrong. Why should we be wasting taxpayer dollars on that when we could spend it instead on more Benghazi hearings?

      Again, where are NJ taxpayers on Christie’s squandering of their money on bogus investigations and corrupt wheeling and dealing? Don’t they care?

      I guess the next step is for Christie to use taxpayer dollars on a poll of his closest supporters to find out just how much they want the investigations to stop and Christie to become President.

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