Right now there may be storms of allegations swirling around New Jersey governor and ex-Jabba The Hutt impersonator Chris Christie but the American public has proven again and again that it likes to give second chances to those who may have done the wrong thing…or at least prove that they have the long term memory of a hamster.
So, as much of a pounding that Christie is taking in the polls (and anyone who’s taken a pounding in their poll knows how painful that can be), it’s far too early to count him out as a contender for the Republican nomination for the Presidency in 2016…in fact, since it is the GOP nomination we’re talking about, it’s too early to count out any Bigfoot Truthers, circus sideshow performers, or Nazi reenactment enthusiasts.
If he did become President, after declaring that his first act in office would be ordering the National Guard to install defrosters in Hell (and insisting that Hell freezing over wasn’t caused by human activity), who would he nominate to be in his cabinet?
Thanks to PlanetPOV’s hard earned relationships with informers in organized crime, we have a direct pipeline into the Christie inner circle and have received a copy of his list of top picks for cabinet positions if he was to be elected or extorted into the White House.
MY FIRST CHOICE FOR WHITE HOUSE CABINET POSITIONS
- Chief of Staff: Bob McDonnell
- Secretary of State: Edward Snowden
- Attorney General: Whitey Bulger
- Secretary of the Treasury: Bernie Madoff
- Secretary of Defense: George Zimmerman
- Secretary of Health and Human Services: Dick Cheney
- Secretary of the Interior: Freedom Industries President Gary Southern
- Secretary of Transportation: David Wildstein
- Secretary of Education: Sarah Palin
- Secretary of Homeland Security: Vinnie No-Nose
We hope to get our hands on his top picks for the Supreme Court soon but we have heard that Miley Cyrus is at the top of his list.