In the Supreme Court’s hearings this week on the constitutionality of the Affordable Care Act, a surprising variety of ridiculous and small minded thinking was put on display by some of the justices. Antonin Scalia who is for some reason described as an intellectual (just as Moon Unit Gingrich is…”intellectual” must be Republican for “crazy”), tried to argue that universal health care is a slippery slope to government enforced broccoli.

Now, any right wing brain-damaged ideologue would agree that the national health insurance market is identical to a supermarket in that each have the word “market” in them. Otherwise, for those of us not required to take anti-psychotic medication, the idea that having universal health insurance (as nearly all other western nations have) is comparable to or a slippery slope to a vegan tyranny, is quite insane. It would be fascinating to hear Scalia’s explanation of how European countries, Japan and other nations throughout the world have been able to provide health care to all while somehow avoiding the natural progression to broccogeddon.

Poor Samuel Alito, he had such high hopes for his inanity taking the gold medal for the Conclusion High Jump in this Special Session Olympics but Scalia’s years of petrifying his brain into a hard and impenetrable substance similar to a stale Abba Zabba bar, forced him to settle for the silver.

Alito did try his best though when he said:

“I don’t see the difference. You can get burial insurance. You can get health insurance. Most people are going to need health care. Everybody is going to be buried or cremated at some point. What’s the difference?”

His unreasoned question is hard to argue against…unless one has a high school education or better (i.e. “elitist”). As Alito points out, the burial industry, like the health insurance industry, is a crucial part of our economy and its rapidly rising costs are responsible for plunging the nation into trillions in deficits and endangering the nation’s future.

I can’t tell you how many people have been bankrupted and have lost their homes having to pay for their own sudden burial and the ongoing costs of remaining dead which could grow into hundreds of thousands and even millions of dollars. Really, I can’t tell you.

In fact, the argument Alito advances, that the burial industry could be bankrupted by people only paying for burials AFTER they die, does hold water…like the Titanic. Using Alito’s logic, if universal health care was upheld, then wouldn’t government have the power to insist that burials be paid for by people who are alive so that those who have been more responsible and died first, don’t have to deal with higher burial costs on top of being dead?

Samuel Alito isn’t taking his loss to Scalia on moronic rationalizing lying down. In fact, anticipating that the US may eventually pass an Affordable Casket Act, he has invested in his own new startup, “Caskets R’ Us!”.

Putting a fresh spin on the burial business, Alito’s Caskets R Us creates custom caskets for the deceased, in the shapes of objects most associated with the deceased. Here are a few samples from their brochure that use well known Republican figures as potential clients:

 

Rush Limbaugh’s Casket

Mitt Romney’s Casket

 

 

 Antonin Scalia’s Casket

 

 

The Koch Brothers’ Caskets

 

 

John Boehner’s Casket

If you have any casket suggestions, Sam Alito and Caskets R Us invite you to post them below and you’ll be entered in a drawing for your own custom casket (free custom casket certificate expires in 90 days so act now!).

(BTW, props or blame go to Chernynkaya for encouraging me to write this post!)

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jjgravitas
Member
jjgravitas

“Supreme” Court? More like “Extreme” Court! Seriously though, I think you’ve hit on something. If you think the medical industry has blown itself way out of proportion, look at the funeral industry. How much does it really cost to dig a hole and bury a dead guy in the ground. If you have your own plot of land, then nothing, right? But thanks to our privatized funeral industry, burying one dead guy costs thousands — for the embalming, the fancy coffin, the burial lot, the headstone. Cremation is simpler, more economical and the result can take up no space at all, unless you yearn for the urn. Universal Burial Care! Now there’s something I think we should all get behind. The funeral industry wouldn’t like it. But it makes perfect sense that care for the departed (“death care”?) should be handled by the state, i.e. the “community”, and not expect that it be left completely up to individuals. In the case of wrongful death, it could sync up seamlessly with law enforcement as they have to deal with murder victims and other victims of death by misadventure.

jjgravitas
Member
jjgravitas

Harry Nilsson – I’d Rather Be Dead

Wilburrr
Guest
Wilburrr

[img]http://3.bp.blogspot.com/_3eS45w2RzKc/SXB6ooPqd2I/AAAAAAAAC6I/9H_I7_zhcT4/s400/condom_240.jpg[/img]

Sean Hannity

KQµårk 死神
Member

Kudos AdLib another masterpiece putting the absurdity of conservative wrongheadedness on parade.

You can bury the wit and wisdom of you basic reactionary conservative in a nanotube or buckyball. Their world view is that small and petty.

casket

KillgoreTrout
Member

Romney again;

[img]http://ts1.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4564305200218464&id=9c817ef69f0f558c1679603363bbdd0f[/img]

escribacat
Member

Poifect, KT.

KillgoreTrout
Member

Thanks e’cat.

KillgoreTrout
Member

Definitely Romney;

[img]http://ts2.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4952303940141357&id=d343b100e140c54e04c0b5584137cb70[/img]

Too obvious? A giant flip flop?

Nirek
Member

More of a flop as far as I can see.

KQµårk 死神
Member
KillgoreTrout
Member

People should buy a pair and send them to Romney.

SallyT
Member

Okay, Cher, I am not even going to try to get a picture of how I think Carl Rove should be buried. I say he should be inserted as a suppository up an elephant’s ass. But, I am sure the elephant would reject it.

Chernynkaya
Member
KQµårk 死神
Member

KO’s kill the bill rant was the time when I lost all respect for him.

Now KO said he’s going to sue Al Gore and Current TV. Great so Current TV will have millions less to purchase and broadcast their invaluable progressive documentaries and other programming all because of KO’s legendary massive ego.

KO says he’s going to expose ‘the truth’ about Al Gore and Current TV. Well I’ll exposed the ‘the truth’ about Olberman. KO is the epitome of severely narcissistic pundits on the left that are simply a mirror image of pundits on the right.

KillgoreTrout
Member

Perfect cher!

SallyT
Member

Cher, that is cracking me up!! 😆 😆 😆 😆

Chernynkaya
Member

HAH! Because it’s blank?

SallyT
Member

No! I clicked the link. I have been having the same problem with picture myself today. I would never laugh about that. 😉

Chernynkaya
Member

But that’s why I thought it was even funnier than the casket. But then, when I trip and fall I laugh so hard I can’t get up! If some ELSE trips, I just about need a defibrillator I laugh so hard.

(I’m laughing right now just picturing falling!)

Chernynkaya
Member

Sally, you CAN laugh long and hard if I trip and fall–nothing funnier! I especially love it when one’s arms start windmilling right before the fall.

SallyT
Member

Oh, I would laugh if you fell! 😆
NOT!

Chernynkaya
Member

Oh dear–found Keith Olbermann’s casket:
[img]http://iowntheworld.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2009/10/corpse_in_coffin-11-408×650.jpg[/img]

KillgoreTrout
Member

Herman Caine for sure;

[img]http://ts4.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4676421026055167&id=6a025ce77b6b13905edf7a7a211d2019[/img]

SallyT
Member

KT, now that is just right!!!!

SallyT
Member

Well, since BMW has recalled 367,000 cars in the US, I say we bury Scott Walker in one.

[img]http://www.trbimg.com/img-4f71d1ec/turbine/la-fi-mo-bmw-recall-20120327-001/600[/img]

KillgoreTrout
Member

An excellent suggestion Sally.

KillgoreTrout
Member

McCain would need a really big coffin;

[img]http://ts4.mm.bing.net/images/thumbnail.aspx?q=4949207278682443&id=ca2fecd5337ced4720a70d44eaf0ff76[/img]

With the Beach Boys providing music at the wake!

AlphaBitch
Member
AlphaBitch

Oopsy ! I thought the Beach Boys tune in question would be “Wouldn’t It Be Nice”, but this is after a White Russian (HEY – it’s FRYDAY) I guess you were thinking Barbara Ann (or McCainesque Bomb Iran) My bad.

KillgoreTrout
Member

No problemo AB. Yeah, I was alluding to McCain’s rendition of Barbra Ann. Bomb Bomb Bomb, Bomb Bomb Iran!

Chernynkaya
Member

A few random coffins:

Mitch McConnell, obviously
[img]http://thumbs.dreamstime.com/thumblarge_559/12905060602y6s7x.jpg[/img]

Eric Cantor

[img]http://www.homedepot.com/catalog/productImages/300/0b/0be03359-8cdc-4f07-b774-ccfa60d50e89_300.jpg[/img]

Ayn Rand is buried in the thorax
[img]http://www.mwctoys.com/images/review_18alien_3.jpg[/img]

KQµårk 死神
Member

The Ayn Rand reference is brilliant. I always love the irony of the fact that she died penniless on government assistance.

KillgoreTrout
Member

Perfect fit for Mitch McConnell! He really does look like a turtle!

SallyT
Member

Gingrich in a janitor’s cart.

[img]http://www.wholesalejanitorialsupply.com/images/100/facility.jpg[/img]

Chernynkaya
Member

I think I’ve come across Marcus Bachmann’s coffin:
[img]http://www.paradoxplace.com/Photo%20Pages/UK/Britain_South_and_West/Westminster_Abbey/Westminster_Images/800/Elizabeth-I-WA-BAR800.jpg[/img]

KillgoreTrout
Member

HAHA! That’s it for sure! 😉

SallyT
Member

Perfect!!!! 😆 😆