As landmark wedding anniversaries arise, the husbands’ thoughts may turn nostalgically to the amount of hair they had in their wedding photos, the lovingly polished shotgun in the bride’s father’s hands during the vows or how high the Chicken Cordon Bleu at the reception bounced if you threw it really hard at the floor.
My wife often asked me, after we were first engaged, “How can I be sure you’re the one?” I showed her my driver’s license but that didn’t seem to do the trick. So I just responded, “Well, we can always get divorced.” For some reason, that had just the opposite effect I’d intended.
Are we wired for marriage or is it an unnatural state…like Alaska? For human beings, the drive for survival is primary though the the drive for sex (which is a part of that) is not only nearly as powerful on it’s own, it is also a drive that sometimes needs to be made late at night after a drunken “booty call”.
Women are often described as having a nesting instinct while men are often described as being hunter-gatherers. That does explain why guys often come home with a look of pride and victory when carrying in a bucket of KFC. The question is, might marriage necessarily present a conflict between the basic instincts of men and women? Or does conflict simply stem from two individuals trying to merge their distinct sensibilities and lives…or maybe just their furniture (geting rid of a husband’s worn out La-Z-Boy is listed as one of the most frequent causes of divorce)?
Sex for men is an external thing that can be devoid of any feeling. Especially when using a condom. For women, sex is literally an internal thing…at least for a few minutes. So there is a physiological argument that could be made as to why, in some instances, men may not feel emotion towards the one with whom they’re having sex…but guys, using that as an excuse for suggesting to your wife that you have a ménage à trois with her sister would still be a major miscalculation.
What would be the typical woman’s ideal marriage and would it be possible to have it without the man having a heart attack? What would be the typical man’s ideal marriage and aside from violating polygamy laws, would it be realistic or considerate to expect one’s wife to cook bacon naked?
In the end, I am very happy to be married to my wife and for all the years we’ve spent together…and all the adventures we have ahead of us.
Just don’t tell her sister.