• Facebook
  • Twitter
whatsthatsound On October - 19 - 2010

Unless you’ve been living on another planet recently, you’re surely aware of the phenomenon that is Kim Kardashian‘s butt! We caught up with it outside Grauman’s Chinese Theater, just after making a fresh imprint on Hollywood Boulevard, and it agreed to sit down with us and tell us what it’s like to be one of today’s hottest stars.

wts: It’s so great to finally get to meet you, face to…..it’s so great to finally get to meet you!

kkb:Β  The pleasure is all yours!

wts: Indeed! You’ve become so BIG recently!

– Yes, isn’t it great? I owe it all to my fans!

– what I mean is, you’ve become, uh, really big!

– yeah…? What are you trying to say?

– well, what I mean is, is there such a thing as becoming too big?

– Gosh, I guess I never thought about it that way! I’d have to say no. I like to think I’ll just keep getting bigger and bigger!

– I imagine you will! I notice you’ve come all by yourself to this interview. May I ask, where’s the rest of you?

– you mean “ROK“? That’s what I call her, it stands for “rest of Kim”. She’s been a little difficult, lately. It’s become clear that I’m what everyone wants to see, and frankly, she’s pretty jealous. She doesn’t like standing in my shadow!

– I see. So is it kind of like Michael Jackson? You know, how he got so much bigger than his brothers?

– Yeah, maybe. I never thought about it. But I loooove Michael! I practice all his moves. You should see me moonwalk!

– I certainly should! Tell me, as one of the world’s most popular celebrity body parts, how do you feel about your chief rivals? For instance, what do you think of Katy Perry‘s boobs?

– Oh, please! Don’t get me started on those! Talk about trying too hard! Always so flashy, anything for attention. I like to think I’m above all that.

– A butt above boobs, huh? That’s an interesting perspective.

– Well, on second thought, maybe that’s not the best way to put it. We’re just in different places.

– You mean in your careers?

– No, just different places. I’ll leave it at that.

– Gotcha. Look, I know this might be a sore subject for you, but…

– You’re going to ask me about the sex tape, aren’t you? I knew it!

– Just a few words….

– Look, I’m really trying to put that behind me. All that overexposure! It really left me badly burned!

– I understand. You were the butt of a lot of jokes for a while.

– Hey, watch it!

– So what would you like to talk about? Any interesting new projects in the works?

– Are you kidding? These days I’ve been working my….working my…..uh, I don’t know how to finish this sentence.

– You mean you’ve been really busy, right?

– Exactly! Ever since the Huffington Post set up a whole feature page about me, I’m in more demand than ever! People want to know who applies my dresses, what beaches I’ve been plopping down on, you name it! So I’m working on my newest reality show, “The Ins and Outs of Kim’s Butt”. And I’m starring in a superhero movie that comes out next year!

– Wow, you are busy! Tell me more about the film!

– I’m not supposed to say much, but I will tell you that I’m a super-powered heroine from the moon! I have to stop asteroids from smacking against the earth. I don’t know where they get these crazy ideas, tee hee!

– It sounds like it was made for you!

– You think so? It’s going to be a lot of fun! But you have to see it on the big screen! And in 3-D!

– Well, you certainly lead a full life, KK’s Butt! Thanks so much for your time. Any last words for your fans?

– Just keep watchin’, folks!

– Don’t worry; we will!

Written by whatsthatsound

Writer, Illustrator, Curmudgeon. Ferret Owner. Tokyoite, formerly Ohioan. Much nicer in person.

97 Responses so far.

Click here to leave a comment
  1. Questinia says:

    Butts are the new boobs. Next up…. LABIA!

    • whatsthatsound says:

      Only a woman would write that. Butts have always been the be all and end all. Boobs’ popularity only came as a result of advertising. It’s easier to show a model’s boobs and face at the same time. Put a butt in an ad and it was considered way too obvious, in the past.

      • Khirad says:

        Even the attraction of boobs was to replicate that of butts biologically, I believe. (or do I have that assbackwards?)

        • whatsthatsound says:

          So it’s true. Booty IS in the eye of the beholder!

          • Questinia says:

            Maybe they’ll hybridize us women at some point, giving us boobties and flat heads upon which a guy can rest his beer and remote.

            • Kalima says:

              Or his feet and hairy legs. Boobs are overrated, they get in the way of door knobs or hinder when trying to squeeze into narrow spaces. Tailored jackets fit so much better without them. What do men know?

              I’d rather be freeze dried, and only come back when all the housework is done, or just on special occasions.

              Gute Nacht OG Q.

  2. Kalima says:

    Ok, after a sleepless night, thinking I had left this post “behind ” me, I just have to try to settle this once and for all.

    While peeking at the Before and After video that Q had left for all to see, I noticed something very odd in the picture of this woman in the light blue sateen dress. Can you see it too?

    If you still have enough energy left, you can clearly see the outline of either “Bum pads” or very badly distributed implants. I dare you to take another look. πŸ˜†

    That’s all folks, I’m putting this humongous mountain range out of my mind and into my “rear” mirror. It has worn me out, and now I’m totally “bummed” out.

    • kesmarn says:

      At the hospital, we have these things called “waffle mattresses.” They’re (intentionally) lumpy to allow air to circulate under the patient. They inflate with an air pump.

      Need we say more?

      I’m guessing waffle butt.

      • Kalima says:

        πŸ˜† kes, you are a brave girl. I thought I was commenting to the wind, but that photo really bothered me. I must be going bananas to be talking about someone else’s butt enlargement. I think I need a holiday. πŸ™‚

        Oh, and yes, you could be right. I think that I mentioned being behind stage at many fashion shows, and seeing the models putting on the padded contraptions before putting on their outfits. I thought that I was hallucinating. The last time I padded anything was when I was 10 years old, well actually, I put two oranges down my vest, but they kept falling to my waist. πŸ™‚

        • kesmarn says:

          Just my own personal opinion, Kalima, but — while they say it’s impossible to be too thin or too rich — I think it is possible to have too much derriere, and Kim has reached that point!

          But then, I’m not a guy…What do I know?? 😳

          • bitohistory says:

            Not Kalima, Butt speaking as a male I find those pictures of her freakish, a sideshow, and repulsive. How big is “it” going to be after a couple of kids and reaching the big 40.

            Boy meets girl and they both start taking off their padding and cosmetics, how much of the “love at first site” will there be then? May look good at “last call” but what then?

            Perhaps I’m just too old. πŸ™‚

            • Kalima says:

              You’ve got the right idea bito, and no guy is ever too old to look or appreciate, who told you that, it’s a “bare-assed” lie. πŸ™‚

              As my hubby always says, “Simple is best, and real is even better.”

              Oh, and as I wrote here somewhere, by the time she reaches 50, she will have to hire an engineer to build her a shelf to park it on or hold it up.

          • Kalima says:

            There is the “derriere” and then there is this, which if it appeals to guys, must be a form of fetish, because it certainly is not manna for the eyes of any normal person.

            I’ll ask my hubby later, but already hear his answer in my ears. “If I can’t hold it with both hands, I don’t want it.” πŸ™‚

  3. bitohistory says:

    Muckety mover -- Shake your own damned booty
    By Muckety
    October 20, 2010 at 11:15am
    Muckety up

    A Muckety Up goes to Fayleen Frampton, the 11-year-old cheerleader who was suspended from her junior cheer squad in Ashland, NE, for refusing to shake her booty.

    The cheer,

    • kesmarn says:

      At age 11, shouldn’t they be roller skating, climbing trees, giggling with their best friends, jumping rope, and watching clouds? They have all the rest of their lives to shake their Kardashians!

      The cheer squad coach needs to take a chill pill and live vicariously through some other group…like the faculty bowling team?

  4. boomer1949 says:

    Kimmer’s and the trunk have made the BIG TIME !! πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

  5. Questinia says:

    I tried to find a bootylicious man but this is all I could come up with:


    DOES NOT do it for me! πŸ™

  6. Questinia says:

    Kardashian’s Kartrashian is in her Kardassian.

    Trans: Kim’s got junk in the trunk.

  7. PatsyT says:

    Now don’t be surprised if other celebrity ‘parts’ show up at your door and want interviews.
    You could get very busy.

  8. Questinia says:

    For Khirad:

  9. kesmarn says:

    I have this PBS documentary on in the background. The one about how the great cathedrals of Europe were built.

    I can’t tell you how many times the term “flying buttress” has been used. Images of a combined Witchy-O’Donnell/Kardashian-on-a-broomstick occur.

  10. AdLib says:

    Very funny WTS!

    Maybe HP can consolidate a number of their categories under one new category, “Big Asses”.

    Along with Kardashian, this category could encompass articles by T. Boone Pickens, Jane Hamsher, Arianna and many other appropriate HP contributors.

  11. PepeLepew says:

    OK, maybe I’m clueless, but what exactly has Kim Kardashian ever accomplished….?

    I actually have a mother who gave me shit recently for not watching enough television.

    • Questinia says:

      Pepe, she jiggles while she juggles the five million plus she earns each year. She is a “style” icon. She is her own brand and lends it to merchandise a la Paris Hilton.

      Furthermore, have you ANY idea what it takes to spackle on that much makeup and not have it go asunder under stress and lighting? That, in itself, is an accomplishment! πŸ™‚

  12. Questinia says:

    Just like in the days of the bustle, the height of hair in Antoinette’s day and Long Island in the 1980’s, extremes in female pulchritude seem to have found a Hall Of Famer in Kim. Hollywood seems to be ground zero for T&A on steroids.

    AAAH! I have her butt branded into my mind’s eye. Must…neutralize…with…images….of…Steven…Tyler…

    • Khirad says:

      Pulchritude, like bucolic, always sounded to me nothing like their meanings. Like, something you contract and have to get antibiotics for. I wish I could remember this Italian song with it in the title, though. 😑

      I’ll say this. Even though she be vacuous and fake personality-wise, with tons of botox, I imagine, she’s not “enhanced” in her curves as far as I know.

      Here’s me looking for the silver lining.

      • Questinia says:

        Not enhanced? ……. bwahahahahahahahahahaha {{{{{gasp}}}}} bwahahahahahahahahaha!

        Khirad, you’re adorable!

        (I’ve NEVER done a bwahaha before, I’ll have you know. It’s so undignified, but considering this thread…)

  13. boomer1949 says:

    So who can answer the following…

    1) Kim Kardashian’s father — who is he and what is his biggest claim to fame?

    2) Mom & Pop Kardashian are divorced — never mind him — who is she married to now?

    3) Anyone think this kind of notoriety (real or perceived) is contributing to the dumbed-down mentality in this society?

    The winner gets the pony I won a month or so ago!

  14. Kalima says:

    I suppose one could say that the gullible folks who eat this kind of thing up, have been subjected to a “bum’s rush” in the common sense department.

  15. bitohistory says:

    I suspect that this is hilarious, WTS, but I feel like a T-bagger on a roundtable discussing the constitution. WTF? πŸ˜† I need to get out more, I guess.

    • whatsthatsound says:

      Consider yourself one of the lucky ones, bito! It’s more of an in-joke. At HP, they dedicate so much space to this particular piece of, well, real estate that it goes beyond shameless.
      So, just another commentary from yours truly about the weird state of our world, and celebrity.
      I like to look at things from all angles! πŸ™‚

  16. Khirad says:

    You had me at the “ins and outs”. πŸ˜†

    Actually, the mystery about her butt isn’t what perplexes me the most. It’s about the ‘success’ of her two boobs: Khlo

  17. Questinia says:

    Too true.

    1) Her butt has overtaken her.

    2) She has gone way past the Venus of Lespugue and now heading toward Willendorf territory.

    3) For us girls with natural bootay, well, we hope her butt doesn’t pull an Overton’s window on what it means to be callipygian.

    4) She recently had a birthday spending 250 K. I wounder if she used her butt to blow out the candles. If you catch my drift… πŸ™‚ Flame Thrower!!

    • Khirad says:

      I’ve written that down. Callipygian is my new favorite word. And I know that buttocks in Greek is pygos now. I’m sure that will come in handy somehow or other.

    • whatsthatsound says:

      Don’t worry, Q. I’m quite certain there’s no chance that Kim’s Butt’s success will pull an Overton’s window on what it means to be callpygian, but that’s only because I have no idea what that means.

      ***actually, I checked on both (you are such a one with vocabulary, you!) and think you and your sistren are okay. She can paint whatever dresses she wants on it, but that thing is too big, too hammy, at least for my tastes.

  18. kesmarn says:

    As a person who sees an unbelievable number of butts on the job, I have to say, I like the wit in the article and the artwork you did for this one. So — in your signed initials at the lower right — do I detect the outline of two tiny butts??


    • whatsthatsound says:

      the butts in the signature were not intentional, but I guess having butts on the mind, and on the eyes (research purposes, mind you) they might have slipped in Freudian style.

  19. choicelady says:

    WTS -- I have not followed this story, but my one viewing of the mom and daughter Kardashians left me wondering WHY???? If that’s ALL you’re known for -- your butt -- where will you be when it starts following gravity? America may not be alone in its dementia (remember Japan’s fascination with all things weird and Imelda Marcos) but we certainly do descend to new lows. No offense to the butt, of course. At least not this year.

    • whatsthatsound says:

      That’s really the question, isn’t it? Why? Where do they come from? How many of them are there? What needs to happen so that they can go away? Will they be replaced by something even more bizarre?
      We are living in Jonathan Waters’ World now, it seems.

  20. TakeInAPlay says:

    Great post. I just can’t imagine why someone would want to be known for being an ass? That seems to be her only contribution to society. If you can call that a contribution. πŸ˜‰

  21. Kalima says:

    Ok, I’ll have to admit that I’ve been living on another planet. Still, it is hilarious. πŸ˜†

  22. boomer1949 says:

    πŸ˜† πŸ˜† πŸ˜†

    • whatsthatsound says:

      Hi Boomer,
      I scraped the bottom of the barrel for this one!

      • boomer1949 says:

        No, I don’t think you did. It just goes to show how rediculously overrated celebrities have become, but also points out the mentality of the “MORANS” who follow. Of course the “MORANS” won’t vote, but they’ll drag their sorry, big behind to the grocery to spend $$$ they probably don’t have, on 1,2,3 tabloids. πŸ˜‰

        *EDIT* She’s overrated anyway — all of them are.

Leave your Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Back to top
PlanetPOV Tweets
Ongoing Stories