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AdLib On April - 5 - 2010

When we last left The Man of Steele, he was cornered by Moral Outrage outside a lesbian bondage club in West Hollywood!

Using his Super Ignorance, The Man of Steele closed his eyes and ignored Moral Outrage, causing it to not exist for him and was able to escape its power.

The Man of Steele flew back to his Fortress of Ineptitude…on a private jet which he charged to the RNC at a cost of $12,000 but it included a pair of  socks.

There, he used his Super Tunnelvision to  keep a watch over the political landscape of America, ever vigilant, ever watchful for an opportunity to raise funds from the easily frightened or defeat his arch enemies with an expensed trip to Hawaii.

That’s when the Man of Steele came up with a brilliant idea. “The eternal struggle against evil and non-business-related expenses is too much for one man to handle by himself, even me. Batman has Robin, Rush Limbaugh has The Republican Party, what I need is a sidekick!”

The Man of Steele picked up his Hotline and made a collect call to Neil Alpert who, unknown to others was in fact The Green Embezzler.

“Neil, this is The Man of Steele. How would you like to team up and raise money to fight evil together?”

“Nice to hear from you, Man of Steele!  Actually, that sounds “super, I’m glad you trust me this much to work with you,” Neil replied. “And just so you know, I accepted the collect call as “Mooney McButtocks” so I’ll just dispute the charge anyway, no worries.”

The Man of Steele was pleased. He hopped into his chartered jet, engaged the masseuse for a neck rub at RNC expense then called to the pilots, “Up, up like my pay!” They all chuckled as the very,very expensive gold-plated jet soared off into the sky.

The Man of Steele’s jet landed on a secret airstrip near Nationals Stadium, home to the Washington Nationals baseball team.

The Man of Steele took of his Armani robe and stepped down into the darkness of the airstrip. “Green Embezzler? Are you there?”

There was terrible danger in the air which The Man of Steele sensed as “just peachy” using his Super-Oblivious-Vision.

The Green Embezzler suddenly stumbled out from around the corner of a building.

“There you are Green Embezzler! Hop on in the jet, I’ve just installed a business-related jacuzzi in it,” The Man of Steele smiled.

Sweat poured down the nervous face of The Green Embezzler, “Man of Steele…it’s…it’s…”

The Man of Steele hurried towards him quickly, “What?”

The Green Embezzler coughed up a Krugerrand then fell to the ground, “It’s…a…trap!”

Suddenly from all directions, the evil Liberal Media Gang flicked on the lights on their video cameras, blinding The Man of Steele!”

“Now we have you, Man of Steele,” they spoke in unison, “We will destroy you with our reporting and our love of salad! Heh-heh-heh!”

The Man of Steele was surrounded! They were approaching, bent on his destruction for no reason that his Rusted Steele Trap Of A Mind could figure out!

That’s when he remembered! He reached down to his utility belt (which he bought from the Neiman’s catalog for $1300 but used his Super-Expensing powers to classify it as Office Supplies), opened the secret compartment and pulled out a card that was all black! He brandished it at them and they backed off!

“Ha-ha! Stand back, evildoers! You chablis guzzling liberal media types can’t defend yourselves from the Black Kryptonite in my Race Card!”

To The Man of Steele’s surprise, The Liberal Media Gang was only backing away momentarily because The Green Embezzler had waved them over to announce that he would be doing commercials for Goldline.

The Media Gang turned back and closed in on The Man of Steele who was incredulous that his Race Card hadn’t worked on them! “Wait! I know! I forgot to charge my Race Card with Authenticity! Oh no! Now what?”

How will The Man of Steele escape this time?!

Tune in next time for Episode 24: “Where There’s a Bill, There’s a Way (to expense it)”.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

34 Responses so far.

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  1. SueInCa says:

    Poor Steele. He is such a joke and he is the only one who cannot see it. He reminds me of a younger version of Louis Gossett Jr. In looks only.

  2. dildenusa says:

    “Republican Party chairman Michael Steele defended his stewardship of party affairs Monday and dismissed criticism as the talk of GOP figures uncomfortable with his “streetwise” managerial style”.

    Oh Really? And just what street does Michael Steele live on?

  3. dildenusa says:

    So while the RNC implodes, http://www.gallup.com/poll/127181/Tea-Partiers-Fairly-Mainstream-Demographics.aspx
    As a prophet from the 1960’s once said, “Strange Days Have Found Us.”

    • KQ says:

      Frankly I think the biggest part of that poll that matters is 70% are conservative, 22% moderate and 7% liberal. I don’t care if they don’t identify themselves as Republicans or Independents it shows most of them lean very much to the right.

      The fact that they are slightly more well of then the public in general just shows how they are consistent with the I got mine and I don’t care about anyone else crowd. Last week when it came out that a large percentage of them are unemployed smelled like complete BS to me. Most unemployed want the government to do something in bad times.

      • AdLib says:

        The Teabagger movement is funded primarily by FreedomWorks which is primarily funded by David Koch, the 6th richest man in the US.

        It is an amalgam of a right wing corporate funded astroturf front, rural racists, the paranoid, gun nuts, anti-government zealots and people who are genuinely afraid and/or frustrated at the economic disaster this nation is struggling through.

        Please note that the poll dildenUSA kindly provided refers to how people feel about the teabaggers, supportive or not, it’s not the makeup of the membership which I think is clearly more extremist, ignorant loons than average Americans.

        Many of the teabaggers who are actually a part of the movement are hypocritically on government assistance. They are birthers, RWs who believed every stupid attack on HCR and Obama and still do.

        I will not buy this meme that the baggers truly are mainstream. They aren’t. It’s just that people are poorly informed as to what the real motivation and agenda is of these angry white people…or else there is a lot more latent racism and blind hatred out there than previously thought.

  4. javaz says:

    Another one bites the dust --

    Republican National Committee chief of staff Ken McKay has resigned in the wake of a controversy over an expenditure at a risque California nightclub, RNC communications director Doug Heye said Monday.

    McKay’s resignation comes one week after the Daily Caller Web site reported that the RNC’s January expenditure report included nearly $2,000 spent at Voyeur in West Hollywood, a topless nightclub.

    RNC officials worked to distance Chairman Michael Steele from the controversy — insisting that not only was he not in attendance but that he had no knowledge of the reimbursement — and promised changes in the way that people were reimbursed by the committee.

    McKay’s resignation appears to be the leading edge of those moves, and an attempt by Steele and the broader RNC to show donors worried about the stability of the committee that changes ares being made. McKay will be replaced by Mike Leavitt, a longtime party operative who had been serving as deputy chief of staff at the committee.


  5. Chernynkaya says:

    You be da man, AdLib, you be DA MAN!

    (When Bachman said that to the Man of Stoole, I thought I’d die cringing.)

    Seriously, that was spectacular!

  6. VegasBabe says:

    LMAO….well done Adlib. Poor dumb bastard, ya kinda feel sorry for someone who has a semblance of intelligence and therefore knows he’s being used as a tool but dang…they didn’t MAKE him take that position. He shoulda seen the handwriting on the wall from the door.

    • KQ says:

      Tell me about it VB and if Repugs don’t do as well as they think they should during the midterms they won’t blame it on having absolutely zero vision for this country, they will blame it on the black man.

      In fact secretly Republicans blame Condi Rice for 911 and Collen Powell for the war in Iraq.

      Not enough black people in banking so they blame the gay, Barney Frank, for the financial collapse.

  7. KQ says:

    Great one as usual Adlib.

    In a related story Captain Hatred (any Venture Bros. fans out there would know) John McCain said,

    “I never considered myself a maverick,”

    Even though he ran on the campaign slogan, “Team of Mavericks”. Since McCain lost the nomination to W in 2000, McCain has been nothing but another right wing ideologue. So obviously he like Bush would have broken his pledge to work across the aisle.

    I love how the Republicans squirm with an African American in charge of their party fund-raising. You know most of them just want to tell Steele to go back to the fields. It’s not the media who hate him because of his race, it’s his own party and their supporters.

    • Khirad says:

      Heh, Captain Hatred!

    • javaz says:

      Sarah Palin just reminded voters in Arizona that McCain is a maverick when she appeared at fundraisers in Tucson and Tempe.

      McCain is showing signs of senility and needs to retire.

      • nellie says:

        Mandatory retirement age should be 65 in the senate. Make room for some younger thought patterns.

        • javaz says:

          I also think 65 should be mandatory retirement age for SCOTUS, too!

          Heck, even presidents and congresspeople and every elected official should be forced to retire at 65, imho.

          • Khirad says:

            No kidding. Sorry, but just as we have minimum age limits for voting, driving and drinking (not at the same time!) -- there comes a time when a mind might not be as sharp anymore. Not to say it is in Steven’s case, but in general.

            And that definitely applies for guys like Byrd. I love ’em, but when does it just become sad?

            Seriously, pick a successor and save us the trouble of figuring out what to do when you die in office.

          • nellie says:

            I’m right there with you, javaz.

      • KQ says:

        Well javaz that is in voters hands like you. I hope Dems have a good candidate who can beat him, but I doubt it. He will benefit from being the anti-Obama.

        • javaz says:

          That’s the thing -- as of yet we have no viable Democratic candidate declaring they are running although there are some hopeful rumors floating around.

          Arizona is going backwards fast and it’s a consolation of sorts to read the on-line comments from the Tribune and Arizona Republic -- both right-wing rags -- whereby Arizonans are showing disgust with McCain and our Republican majority legislature and Republican governor.

          The Tribune was a bit more left-leaning until it was sold and now it’s worse than the Republic!

          • KQ says:

            Understood completely javaz. I always cringe voting in a bright red area of GA. It seems like Democrats don’t even bother contending most races.

            • javaz says:

              McCain’s a shoe-in, so the DNC is not going to even bother.

              That’s why we’re getting more involved locally.

  8. javaz says:

    Here’s a good news story --

    One of the businessmen that donated $50,000 to the SwiftBoaters that smeared Senator Kerry has resigned.

    The Republican National Committee has lost one of its top fundraisers amidst a backdrop of scandals hounding RNC Chairman Michael Steele.

    Sam Fox, a former US ambassador to Belgium and hearty supporter of President George W. Bush, has resigned a senior position within the Party’s fundraising ranks, Politico’s Ben Smith reported Monday.

    The position, Smith says, was unpaid but important. Fox was a co-chairman of the Republican Regents, a Republican fundraising cabal.

    Fox was “deeply troubled by the pattern of self-inflicted wounds and missteps,” a Republican fundraiser purportedly told Smith Monday, and had “lost confidence” in Steele. The fundraiser also said that Fox was finding it harder to raise money under Steele’s darkening cloud.

    More RNC defections are expected, Smith said.


  9. javaz says:

    Another gift that keeps on giving courtesy of the GOP.

    • AdLib says:

      They’ve totally outsmarted themselves! They thought they were so clever putting a black man in as their Chairman to counter Obama’s historic presidency…without considering who that man was and judging him solely on the color of his skin and not the content of his character.

      Now, instead of the RNC being able to get rid of him as their leader, they are abandoning the RNC and setting up their Whites Only version.

      So in the end, they are staying true to their instincts.

  10. PepeLepew says:

    The only way this gets better is if Steele eventually becomes the campaign manager for Palin-Beck 2012.

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