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Tiger99 On January - 9 - 2010

Speaking on The Tony Kornheiser Show Friday, Carville laid out, or unzipped, his vision for airport security.

“Let me buy a [security] card, then go and measure my penis, and let me get on the airplane”


Mr. Carville is married to Mary Matlin a GOP Political Consultant… I present photographic evidence that at least  this issue is one thing they can agree on…


Categories: Humor, The Media

Written by Tiger99

"When You Vote The For Lesser Of Two Evils You Still Vote For Evil" - Tiger99

24 Responses so far.

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  1. Kalima says:

    That’s funny about Carville. I thought that his wife kept his [email protected] in a jar on her nightstand.

  2. javaz says:

    Considering who Carville is married to, I’m surprised he still has a penis.

    • Tiger99 says:

      Mary: I much prefer spontaneous celebrations of love, not the programmed kind. That’s what makes James such a romantic. He has these wonderfully unpredictable love bursts.

      James: Love bursts, huh? That’s a decent way to put it. I just get caught up in feeling lucky, you know what I mean?

      James: Put it this way. My motto in this relationship can be summed up in three words: capitulation, retreat and surrender. When she decided it was time for me to propose, she dictated exactly what I was supposed to say and when. She took my credit card and went out and bought the engagement ring.

      Mary: Aren’t you glad I did?


      Ever wonder what thier home looks like?


      • Chernynkaya says:

        See, to me their different philosophies would be a deal breaker. True, they are both passionate about politics and both advocates.

        But I could never be married to someone who had the philosophy that greed, hypocrisy and supporting the corporate state at the expense of the average American is good, while helping one another for the communal benefit, honesty, and putting people and the environment first is bad.

        That’s a chasm I could never overcome. It is not just that they both have a philosophy; it is that their world views are diametrically opposed. Or are they? I have many times figured that one or both of them are just faking-- that neither of them really believe in anything.

        • Khirad says:

          At this level of operatives, I get the feeling any one of them could switch in a heartbeat. It’s more their job than a deep-held philosophy. With these two I do sense it’s more genuine, but they could still make each others points if they had to, that’s the level we’re talking about.

          I get the point though. It’s be like marrying a reich wing evangelical, I could never do it.

          Edit: Plus, when you’re so passionate about something, as they are about politics, how do you compartmentalize that and only talk about other things?

        • kesmarn says:

          Hi Cher!
          It really is hard to figure those two out. I think it is true, to a certain extent, that opposites do attract.
          We’ve all seen the Church Girl/Bad Boy, Neatnik/Messmaker, Genius/High School dropout type of relationships.
          They seem to be explosively exciting…for the first few years.
          Somehow, though, down the road…there always seems to be Big Trouble lying in wait.

          I wish them all the best. But I think they’re gonna need it!

          • Chernynkaya says:

            Hi, Kes! But the difference between the opposites you cite are not fundamental world views, at least not to me. Even different religions are at least both spiritual.

            I don’t know…it just seems that if you marry someone with such a completely different view of right and wrong (because that is how I see it, and that may be why I find it hard to reconcile)how can you accept that? But I think I just answered my own question-- I don’t think they see their philosophical differences as different philosophies. They probably see Rep. and Dems as merely two ways to get to the same place. They don’t see right v left as good v bad. That’s just ME.

            • javaz says:

              Something with fire and brimstone must’ve happened, since Kes is missing.

            • kesmarn says:

              Pay no attention to the fact that my clothes smell like smoke, my hair is singed and I have no eyebrows. I’m back from what’s left of the church. After the fire…er…service, I got roped into going to a high school basketball game, so I’m late re-joining the action here. Got to head off to AdLib’s China article first…

            • kesmarn says:

              Cher, I think you and j’avaz do have a point. I used to think that political differences were just that and didn’t really say anything much deeper about a person’s actual character. I don’t know if I’ve changed or the situation has changed, but over the last two or three years, I’ve begun to see the link between my actual personal morality (which is a serious core thing for me) and my politics. Guess I’m saying, there was a time--not so long ago--when I would have had no issue with dating a Republican. Now…I dunno…

            • kesmarn says:

              Heh. We’ve grown up and they’ve grown down, maybe?

              Well, for a little while I’m gonna take me and my morality to church. (If you hear of a church building in the midwest spontaneously bursting into flames when an evil person entered, don’t be surprised.) Back later, unless the above mentioned occurs!

            • Chernynkaya says:

              Yep-- but I think that’s because Republicans have changed, not us so much. :-)

            • javaz says:

              I think they’re fakes and in it for the money, because like you, Cher, I just cannot understand how 2 people of such differing views could live with each other.

      • kesmarn says:

        Ouch! as far as the house goes, Tiger… Except for the exterior, I think it pretty much falls into the “hideous” category. Did some D.C. Episcopalian church have a rummage sale and drop off the unsold portion of it at the Carville doorstep?

        I get a kick out of James as the Ragin’ Cajun. But that house would give me nightmares.

        • Tiger99 says:

          Makes me wonder what their bathroom and bedroom looks like ….

        • choicelady says:

          kesmarn -- no self-respecting Episcopalian would have ANY of that stuff! Looks like the cast-offs of a discounted European expatriot failed duke or baroness. Probably scavenged from Embassy Row. Ugh! Well, in some ways maybe they’ve done some good -- SOMEBODY has to buy that stuff! Black hole of tastelessness.

          • kesmarn says:

            You’re right, c’lady. That was really an insult to Episcopalians and to any self-respecting rummage sale anywhere (well, outside of C Street, at least).

            Those poor Carville children…can they bring their friends home from school without risking ostracization?

      • javaz says:

        So, he basically handed her his credit cards and testicles and she’s never returned them.
        Wow, that’s some house, and lots of pink in their home.
        Obviously, Mary used his credit cards to decorate without his input, or he likes pink.
        It must be love or S & M.

        • kesmarn says:

          Good afternoon, j’avez!
          Did you notice--it might have been around slide #3--the picture of the stairway and landing? On the landing is a little statue of a monkey-like little critter holding up a platter with two ball-like objects on it……?

  3. Questinia says:

    Wasn’t it you, Tiger99, who wrote the hilarious piece on shrinkage and guys putting hand dryers down their pants?

    It’ll go beyond that. I can see extra-large condoms filled with silly putty or a variety of wursts being used for augmentation purposes.

    I can also see a lot of female airport scanners escorting these men to the security identification display area.

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