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AdLib On August - 21 - 2011

Dear Diary,

I am like, sooo principled and like, that’s why Obama makes me totally maddd! Cause I’m really principled and he totally isn’t. Shaa!

If I was President and Congress was like, “No way we’re taxing rich people! We’re gonna kill Medicare and stuff!” I would be so like, “Uh-uh, you’re gonna tax rich people, bitch!” and they would be so like, “Damn! Okay! We’ll tax rich people, just get out of my face!”

But Obama is all, “Um, I’m scared, get those teabags outta my face, we can cut stuff cause I’m a wimp.”

It’s not fair that you gotta be old like 30 or something to be president, I would be like so perfect and principled and stuff and I’d like ONLY do everything right instead of sometimes or all the time wrong, like Obama, you know?

==========================================

Dear Diary,

I am so totally pissed at my best friend! We were at McDonalds today and she ADMITS she likes Obama! I was like, “Don’t you have like, any principles? I am like so principled and I can’t believe that you’re so not!”

So she freaks and says…you’re not gonna believe this! She says that I’M not principled! Me! I AM principle! When I poop, principle comes out! I’m so full of it, I can’t believe she doesn’t see that!

Then!!! She said I’m just spoiled cause Obama didn’t give me a pony! That’s not like anywhere near the main reason I’m mad at him! Obama said he was gonna change things and like I don’t see any flying cars or anything! He totally lied and when you’re really principled, like me, it just makes you hate people forever no matter what they do, out of principle, you know?

So my best friend was supposed to come over after McDonalds and we were like gonna illegally download Harry Potter but she was all pissy and just went home.

It was really bugging me that she said I wasn’t principled cause I totally am. When I got home, I was on Facebook and got like a genius idea. I made up a list of names of our friends and said that we all agreed my best friend was totally unprincipled and mean to people who didn’t like Obama because she was just an Obamabot who didn’t think and stuff and hates everyone who isn’t like her. I put that on my Facebook and tweeted it all over, to all of our friends and everyone I could think of. No one’s gonna call me unprincipled!

Oh, and then my best friend texts me and is all boo hoo about how I lied and stuff and how I was the one who was mean and unprincipled which was totally unfair cause all I was doing was getting even because SHE called me unprincipled.

I couldn’t believe her! She like kept insisting, “You gotta apologize! You lied and stuff! You said all those people think I’m mean but I texted them and they said they totally don’t!”

Gah! She was like trying to blame me for everything! So I texted her, “I just tweeted it and put it on Facebook, I didn’t say it was true or anything!” and she goes mental. I guess being super emotional and unfair just goes with liking Obama or something.

============================

Dear Diary,

I hate my mom. There were these totally cool shoes we saw at the mall and they cost like $240 and my mom was all hyper, “No, we have to pay for your school, we have to pay for your synchro classes, we have to pay for your birthday party at Disneyland,” and I’m all like, “If you love me, you’ll buy me these shoes like now and if you don’t buy them, you totally don’t care about me.”

Now I know, she totally doesn’t care about me. I’m seriously thinking about calling CPS or something and telling them that she hits me with a gun or something so she won’t have to be my mom anymore. It’s like so hard to be principled so much like I am and have a mom who so doesn’t respect that and give me what I want, you know?

I mean, it’s not like I think about who would be a better mom, I just know I’m mad at her being my mom cause she’s so busy caring about stuff that isn’t what I really want right now! And what’s the point of being my mom if she’s not gonna do what I want the most?

Gotta go now, just saw Obama on tv talking about jobs or something and I have to stick my finger down my throat and puke and put the video on Facebook or the girls in the Facebook group I’m in, We’re Totally Screwed, will think I’m like not as principled as they are (they’re so strict about Obarfing, if you don’t do it just as much as they do, you’re like totally the enemy!).

Chow!

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

81 Responses so far.

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  1. jjgravitas says:

    AdLib, you’re totally sooo right. It’s such a shame that you have to have a best friend that’s so pure and tight with Obama. Maybe she should join the Tea Party, y’know, the one that’s the Pee Party every 30 minutes. She could totally do that, cos she doesn’t have principles like you do.
    And I totally don’t get why she likes Obama so much. So what if Obama caught and killed Osama Been Laughin-At-Us-For-Decades before his term was even half up? And who cares if Obama was able to help the rebels in Libyan rebels get Moo-Omar Get-Off-Me with nothing more than a couple of drones and no soldiers So the Big O had more military success in two years than Dubya was able to accomplish in eight. Big Deal. Shaa! Right!
    Wait — What’s that shaking? Omigid …

  2. escribacat says:

    U made another funny, adlib!
    PS:
    PPOV seems to be spaced out.

  3. KQuark says:

    Ah the woo woo left has to get out in front of what is going on in Libya because it may be construed as a good decision by the president but they got nothing but insults.

    BTW best tweet on the subject, save for bito’s PlanetPOV tweets of course.

    http://twitter.com/#!/mtascon

    Uninstalling dictator … 99% complete
    ███████████████████████████░

  4. KQuark says:

    PMSL! “> just because I can.

    Love the picture too.

  5. agrippa says:

    I am old.
    When I was young, there was an actual left: Marxists, Maoists, SWP, SLP, SDS, Socialists, etc ,etc, etc. Liberals were so _______. I thought that they were all so naive; very idealistic, mind you, but no realism. None of that was going to take place.

    Who did I vote for in 1968? Humphrey. I had no problem doing so. I thought that HHH would do a better job than Nixon. Including the War in Vietnam.

    I do understand that attitude; I saw it in 1968.

    Today’s firebaggers are, imo, very naive.

  6. ADONAI says:

    I understand criticizing the President. He isn’t perfect. And unlike Bush he actually owns his mistakes and admits as much.

    But are there really that many people out there on the Left who tear him down for every single thing he does or, in this case, everything they think he doesn’t do?

    • Emerald1943 says:

      Hey Adonai!

      I think Dorothy has a good point. “Only the squeaky wheel gets the grease” applies here. The TP and the firebaggers scream the loudest and they get the coverage. Those of us who support the President are not particularly interesting for the media to cover…no outrage to report!

      Yes, there a some out there, but I don’t believe their numbers are that large. When the chips are down, I still believe they will back the President in the election.

    • Dorothy Rissman says:

      AdonaI. At times it feels as if everyone who voted for him has turned against him, but it is not true. It’s the media stupid! Hit myself in the head.

      http://www.gallup.com/poll/148760/obama-weekly-approval-liberal-support-remains-high.aspx

      Among libs he still stands pretty strong, it is the moderate dems who are bringing down his numbers. If you look at how the repugs rate him it is a disaster. The problem is that msm always listens to those who who scream the loudest.

      • lynettema says:

        Depending upon which poll you look at, they say that from 32% to 59% of Dems want to primary PBO. I think many of these are the Hillary supporters.

        • AdLib says:

          Hey lynettema, I found this article at The Hill on a recent Pew poll:

          Poll: Democrats oppose primary challenge to Obama

          Most Democrats don’t wish to see President Obama face a primary challenge in 2012, according to a new poll released Wednesday.

          Despite frustration among liberals that the president has ceded too much ground to congressional Republicans on the debt ceiling and on other major issues, just 32 percent of Democrats and Democratic-leaning Independents wish to see a primary challenge to the president.

          http://thehill.com/blogs/blog-briefing-room/news/176219-poll-democrats-oppose-primary-challenge-to-obama

          Bernie Sanders and Ralph Nader are bloviating about this but it’s ridiculous, no Dem of any repute with any hope for a future career in politics would run against Obama.

      • AdLib says:

        Dorothy, thanks for the reality check!

        The lifeblood of the MSM is conflict, there’s no ratings and revenue boost from reporting, “Obama’s supporters are pretty much where they were in supporting him.”

        The story that will get people tunign in and generating more ad revenue comes from finding whatever stats or segments of polls validate the preconceived conflict.

        They have blatantly reported Obama’s support from Dems is weak while Gallup polls were out showing that he had greater support than other Dem Presidents at the same point in their terms.

        The sad truth is, the MSM will report materially false information if it presents a picture of conflict and they have at least a slim thread to hang their misrepresentation on.

        My feeling about gauging support for the only reasonable man in the Presidential race comes from Star Wars, “Trust in The Force, Luke”, trust your instincts about how people feel out there and ignore the MSM characterizations.

        People need a President to help them and that just ain’t gonna happen with a Romney or Perry who openly admit that they only serve corporate (people).

    • Dorothy Rissman says:

      Were you? We in the middle of the country wanted so badly to be a cool valley girl.

    • AdLib says:

      Like oh my God! I haven’t heard this song in like forever! Tubular!

      This really is a time capsule! Kind of bizarre to consider that this was such a big hit at the time but it perfectly captured the real Valley Girl speak and persona that still continues in a more normalized way today.

      My sister was a slightly milder version of this but what’s funny is that she still has a slight Valley Girl type affectation when pronouncing some of the classic Valley Girl phrases, such as “I know!” still sounds a bit like :”I knuwe!”

      She must totally think it’s still like bitchin’, you knuwe?

      • Khirad says:

        I have it too. Sometimes I’ll like so totally play it up to Clueless levels, but other times it just pops out. It migrated north and is like so part of the Pacific Northwest ‘accent’. It’s really the front rounded ‘o’ that can tip off someone you may be from the West Coast and under a certain age. Oh, and the rising intonation -- not as obnoxious -- has also become normalized. I do it all the time.

        As such I loved this. I swear there were girls that almost sounded like this.

      • Chernynkaya says:

        HAH! It really has lasted. Kids still say, “So he goes,’Like no,’ and then I go,’Yes you do!'”

        I hate that. Thank gawd ‘bitchin’ and ‘tubular’ are gone though. And I hate the Galleria too. (Glendale, but Sherman Oaks is OK.) I knuwe, right?!

  7. choicelady says:

    AdLib --

    This is just WONDERFUL! You absolutely nailed the attitude AND the voice -- amazing. This is the best written monologue I’ve read in quite a long time! It’s creepy knowing you actually can reproduce the mindset so well -- you must, unfortunately, be around it too much.

    One, worried question -- I hope that’s not YOU under the flaming bag? If it was, I hope you’re OK? That’s maybe TOO much sacrifice for our edification?

    In any case, thank you! This made me laugh out loud (not just LOL) and realize how extensive that mindset has become.

    Thank you!

    • AdLib says:

      Creepy? Like oh…my…God! It’s so totally easy!

      Look, just empty your mind, you know? Then get mad cause everything isn’t about you and what you want, then like, hate Obama or start up a blog called Firedoglake or Huffington Post and you are sooo there!

      Thanks so much for the kind words, CL! Very pleased you enjoyed it!

  8. KQuark says:

    PMSL! (we need a smiley for that). 24kt gold AdLib.

  9. AdLib, Moon Unit would be proud! 😉

  10. Emerald1943 says:

    Adlib,

    Like I wish they would like take the word “like” out of the English language because I will like totally and completely Obarf up my cookies if I like see the word like one more time! :-)

    The saddest part is that I actually know some kids who talk this way! They even go so far as to text “like” too when it serves no purpose whatsoever except possibly more thumb calisthenics!

    Didn’t this come from that old “Valley Girls” thing back a century or two ago? You’d think that the kids would come up with something new!

    This is a great example of the immediate gratification crowd of young people who think no further than what they want right THIS MINUTE, no thoughts of what their futures hold except for who they’re hanging out with this weekend.

    But there is an upside…I also know a few kids that “get it” and are seriously concerned about the direction of their lives and their education. I am happy and proud to report that my grandson, the light of my life, is included in this latter group! In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever heard him use the word “like” in any conversation!

    Sorry for the shameless bragging, but I think I’m like entitled! :-)

    • AdLib says:

      Like, I totally know what you mean! Gah!

      Yep, it’s a riff on the old Valley Girl speak.

      That 80’s mentality, of feeling entitled and selfish, lacking empathy and being proud of one’s immaturity seemed to me to be a perfect parallel to the Firebaggers.

      They come off to me like spoiled brats who can lie, snipe and turn on their friends on a dime if protecting their feelings can be attained.

      For such types, the charade of FEELING that they are more principled then others is pursued at the expense of any principle they claim to have. Some will be the most unethical, unprincipled people in order to promote the perception that they are principled.

      This irony…or hypocrisy seems rampant amongst the baggers on both extremes.

      You absolutely should give props to your grandson, we need him and more like him to help clean up the mess that the Me generation has made out of America.

      • Emerald1943 says:

        Adlib, I used the term “kids” when I should have referenced our fire-breathing friends. But I guess that’s because I am getting REALLY old! (I think of MOST people now as kids.)

        Unfortunately, there are many out there who act this way, no matter how old they are. And it is apparent to me that lots of them have never had an ORIGINAL thought in their lives. They parrot what they hear back to us with complete inflexibility, never really thinking about the implications of their so called “principles”. This, to me, is the biggest danger of our corporate-controlled and consolidated RW media that tells them what their principles ought to be. Logic, facts, and reason never figure into the equation. That’s why they have so many problems when they come to PPOV. They just simply don’t understand us! :-)

        I did enjoy your piece! Well done!

        • AdLib says:

          Emerald, I think you’re right on target. The mindsets of the Baggers on both sides doesn’t come from reason but from emotional needs.

          They aren’t using logic or reason to acquire their “views”, they simply adopt them pre-packaged from their selected media and like teenagers, simply conform to the clique they’ve chosen to join.

          Their views seem to me like shells, used essentially to protect emotional fragility, their fears and insecurities.

          And many are trapped like that, in flawed, unjustifiable “logic” which they contort themselves to try and justify.

          The Tea Baggers spout their nonsense about the only problem being taxes and government…yet they want a military, highways, police and fire and Medicare and Social Security.

          The Fire Baggers wail about how spineless, inept and conservative Obama is and hammer at him and approval of him because they want more Progressive policies in place…which the alternative to Obama, President Perry or President Romney would absolutely not give them.

          Both Baggers have primal disconnects between their supposed goals and their actions but trying to get this through to them threatens their security in their dogma so they stick their fingers in their ears and chant “I’m not listening to you!” until people stop assaulting them with logic an reason.

          They are intrinsically childish in my book and willfully ignorant about the fatal flaws in their reasoning. For them, it’s more important to have their belief than for it to be right.

          And thanks so much for the props, so glad you enjoyed it!

  11. It is simply amazing just how many people underestimate the real value of “balance.” Balance is so crucial, in almost every aspect of life. The enirity of Nature is a system of finely balanced processes. Of course it took me years to come to such a realization. 😉

    • AdLib says:

      The conflict in these times is that balance requires insight, perspective and compromise and people are being pulled into the emotional comfort of simplistic absolutism.

      Tea Baggers or Fire Baggers, the world is in violation of their unbalanced views and always will be, which only fuels their outrage.

      Like babies crying at each and every discomfort, their demand that reality NOT be balanced, that it be an unrealistic extreme, makes justification for wailing, just their existence.

    • KQuark says:

      Hear! Hear! KT human nature manifests itself in a series of bell curves which are the ultimate representation of balance. When leaders govern using extreme ideologies they always seem to fail. My personal philosophy is not left and right but forward and backward. Yes I believe the right wants to go backwards, they use to want to go back to the 1950’s during the Reagan years, now they want to go back pre-slavery and secession mentality to the 1850’s and I’m not sure if they really want to date back to feudal times. The 18th and 19th century definitions of conservatives (reactionary) and liberal (enlightened) also fit my paradigms better. The 20th century showed modern left and right thinking to be an utter failure. On a virtual racetrack of progress if you veer too far right or left you end up in the gravel and if you go backwards you create a pile up.

  12. Chernynkaya says:

    Adlib-- that was, like, totally awesome! I have two teenage step-daughters (well, one is actually 20 but immature) and while they don’t talk like Valley girls you perfectly captured their attitude. The oldest girl is the one who set me up on Twitter and when she did she set it up so that I get all her Tweets--which I’m sure she’s long forgotten about. It’s really quite the window into the mind of a teenager. Just the other day she Tweeted “Everyone’s against me when I really want something.” I mean, that’s almost a caricature of teen angst. It’s what you nailed in this post!! (BTW--that’s because we wouldn’t let her get a snake.)

    Speaking of Twitter, it has proven to me how immature most of us really are. The serious journalists I follow are as childish, petty and self-centered as your average teen! And just as clubby. Strip away their writing style and you actually hear the conversation you so hilariously captured.

    • AdLib says:

      BTW–that’s because we wouldn’t let her get a snake.

      😆

      Like, thanks, you’re totally my bff, Cher!

      You nailed it, immaturity and selfishness seems contagious in the electronic environment. If I may, that’s what makes The Planet pretty singular.

      Journalists are on Twitter being as petty and sniping as high school cheerleaders and real people are here rising far above that. Pretty cool.

    • Khirad says:

      Magic: The Gathering has Elesh Norn, praetor of the white Phyrexian faction. Strangely, she gets along well with the Totalitarian Utilitarian blue praetor, Jin-Gitaxias.

      Someone’s due for a wedgie…

    • AdLib says:

      Great link and site, thanks for this Caru!

    • choicelady says:

      Caru -- that’s the religious right who will assert that they’d give up Anne Frank and her family rather than lie to the Gestapo.

      Yikes.

      GREAT site with an impressive new terminology -- Principles Zealot. Like, super helpful!

      • That comes from Immanuel Kant’s scenario about the “killer at the door.” Kant was, as Nietzsche put it, “A moral fanatic.”

        • Emerald1943 says:

          Good grief, KT! You guys are really gettin’ down in the weeds this morning!

          How was the lobster, you dawg??? :-)

        • choicelady says:

          Yikes -- I’d forgotten that. Thanks for the prompt.

          Indeed -- moral zealotry is considered good. In others.

          Moral judgment seems to me to be far more principled than imposing a rule book upon oneself.

          What amazes me is the degree to which moral relativism abounds among the moral zealots when the issues pertain to them. We have only to look to the religious right-adulterers-god-has-forgiven-me folks.

          Interesting how much we can shape-shift if we’re the ones under scrutiny.

        • Caru says:

          That was the last point on the article that I linked to:

          “Immanuel Kant advocated this sort of worldview; you ought to determine the right tenets and stick to them in all circumstances, though the whole world, all authority, and your loved ones begged you to give in, though it would mean your life, to not deviate because it is Right.”

          • Sorry Caru, I didn’t click on the link. I was just replying to choicelady. But that sentence in the link is absolutely true. Kant takes it way too far.

            • Ëxactly KQ. Well put. One of Nietzsches beliefs was “Man must overcome himself.”

            • KQuark says:

              Absolutely KT. He was not a Ayn Rand type that promoted exploitation through leveraging the cynical aspects of human nature. He was just describing that aspect of human nature and very well I might add.

              In fact as I get older I even question if human nature itself will hinder human societies’ progress because things are exactly the way they are because there is an underlying hierarchy in society. Of course like anything in human nature enlightenment is the key. The more we understand the way are brains are hard wired through evolution, the better chance we have to progress. It’s really think “unconscious” people out there that refuse to recognize their limitations hinder progress the most. Then of course you have the people who like things this way because they know how to exploit these human shortcomings.

            • Caru, thanks for the link. I can see the author’s point, to an extent. Nietzsche is one of the most misquoted, misunderstood thinkers of the 19th century.
              The “Superman,”was more of a warning than a personal goal. Nietzsche wasn’t recommending cruelty or nihilism really. He was just saying that this is the way the world really is.
              His earlier writings, could be described as nihilistic, but his later stuff, like Thus Spoke Zarathustra and Beyond Good and Evil weren’t nihilistic at all. IMO Nietzsche was against what he termed the “life deniers.”

            • Caru says:

              They have a great description of part of Nietzsche philosophy if you want to read it:

              http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/TheAntiNihilist

    • Chernynkaya says:

      Caru--that was just perfect. I can’t believe you found a site so perfect! 😆


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