International

The Hermanas Mirabal(as they are referred to) were four Dominican political dissidents who opposed the dictatorship of Rafael Trujillo. They called themselves Las Mariposas (the butterflies) because that was the name Minerva Mirabal gave to herself in her underground activities.

"Her Majesty trusted in me to serve a thick, over-sized side of beef in a flaky fragile shell and in the end, I wasn't able to serve Mr. Trump," Flanagan said.

TRUMP: "Dear wall, I'm praying that you turn all the media into something...I don't know, salt, lepers, hey what about, snakes! With tattoos that say, 'I love Fake News!' but with the heart sign for 'love', you know?"

"Reality poses a threat to Russia and its future so purely as a matter of self-defense, I have ordered Russian troops to move to the border of Reality and stand ready to use force to defend our country," Putin declared.

And what is the end result of this corrupt, survival of the wealthiest and their lackeys system we now see supplanting our government? Doing to the planet Earth what they did to the economy in 2008.

What if Trump was able to reshape America without Congress or the courts being able to check his power, what would this country look like? Let's call it Trumptopia, a regime resembling Russia but with a Trumpian twist.

"Look, we all know that Barack Hussein Obama and Hillary Clinton are guilty for all the evil in the world today...after all, she is The Devil. Thanks to them we have ISIS, an unfair economy, irritable bowel syndrome and me as the Republican nominee, pretty terrible stuff, right?"

Donald Trump is a terrorist in the literal sense. When Trump tries to negotiate, he doesn't do so like a sharp businessman, he just uses extortion like any thug or terrorist might. There is no art to the dealing Trump does, just the threat of brute force.

When asked if it would strange to him, to be on vacation, Satan explained, "I am accustomed to being in horrific surroundings...so I booked a Carnival Cruise."

An ISIS supporting cyber group hacked Centcom's top secret YouTube and Twitter accounts today! The top secret data compromised included angry faced cats and tweets about Kim Kardashian's bicycle seat. Who knows how many undercover, popcorn eating hamsters' lives are in danger now because of this devastating hack?!