Putin crosseyed

Despite Russian President Vladimir Putin’s claims denying it, photographic proof was revealed today that confirmed that Russian military and intelligence men have been masquerading as Ukrainians while leading rebellion in eastern Ukraine. This has prompted an angry response from Putin who is now massing troops on the border of Reality and threatening to annex it.

“Reality poses a threat to Russia and its future so purely as a matter of self-defense, I have ordered Russian troops to move  to the border of Reality and stand ready to use force to defend our country,” Putin declared. “I don’t understand why anyone would live there, you would never find me living in Reality!”

Putin launched into a history of Russia’s conflicts with Reality and noted that they have multiplied since he originally took office, blaming Reality for trying to undermine his Presidency inside Russia and around the world. “When I hosted the Olympics, Reality attempted an invasion using our official policy of homophobia as cover! Reality was behind the overthrow of Ukraine President Viktor Yanukovych which Russia regards as a hostile action towards Russia so we have no reservations about preparing to invade Reality,” Putin explained.

Putin went on to say that he has always regarded Reality as an adversary to his Presidency and has always done his best to avoid any confrontation with it. “Suffice it to say that I would never allow Reality to gain a foothold anywhere near our booming economy, our respect for the rights of each and every Russian and our reverence for democracy! It should be self-apparent from everything I say and do, from my efforts to only protect Russians living in Ukraine to my denials of involvement with internal conflicts in Ukraine, that I stand in complete opposition to Reality and will not tolerate any outside influence by it in my Presidency or country.”

Putin wrapped his comments by commenting on how handsome he looks when shirtless and how respected and trusted he is in the world community.

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NoManIsAnIsland
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NoManIsAnIsland

AdLib, your brilliant satire of Putin the Puny would be
more hilarious were it not true!

But one has to deal with that when satirizing a
megalomaniac who’s already a caricature of himself. 😉

pinkpantheroz
Member

Reminds me of the BBC’s reporting in WWII: ” German planes bombed at random last evening. There are no reports of major damage”

Lord Haw Haw then came on German Radio to announce that: ‘Random has been completely devastated!”

Nirek
Member

PPO, Putin reminds me of Hitler. He seems to want to invade other countries to expand his own.

kesmarn
Admin

AdLib, the picture of Putin is — well, beyond words. “Perfect” just doesn’t quite do it. I could only think of his soul mate across the Bering Straits: [img]https://encrypted-tbn2.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQicw5cgM7aK2O78qCqG-d09PZGMjkowm6Nm_uEmltoiz8D-VJjWg[/img] The perfect couple. Mom always used to say: “Show me who your friends are, and I’ll tell you what you are.” So here are a few words from Pooty-poots BFFs: Lindsay Graham: “Every time the president goes on national television and threatens Putin or anyone like Putin, everyone’s eyes roll, including mine.” Donald Trump: “He’s [the President’s] not a respected man and the thing that I have the most concern about… Read more »

Kalima
Admin

I guess she was having a problem “seeing” Russia from her porch that day. 😆

She looks like the wicked witch from “Hansel und Gretel”.

kesmarn
Admin

Doesn’t she though, Kalima? When you think of the way she and Dubya have fawned all over Pooty-poot (as Dubya used to refer to him), it’s a reminder that winning the approval of people like them is a sure indicator that someone has gone completely off the rails.

They are the litmus test for loonies.

Kalima
Admin

You can tell a lot about a person by their friends. Hasn’t she championed a bunch of losers just like herself?

Who in their right mind would allow themselves to be photographed looking mean and demented?

I never thought she was much to look at in the first place. She looked exactly like what she is, a cheap knockoff.

Kalima
Admin

Well I suppose that answers my question, AdLib. According to Putin, there is no build up of Russian troops on the border, even though the world has seen them on satellite images, we are all delusional. That must be a part of Putin’s war on “reality”, right?

In the graphic you used, he looks absolutely certifiable. Mad as a hatter.

Thanks for clearing that up. Now I can sleep peacefully again.

Where’s my Prozac???