Donald Trump

According to sources close to Trump, he will spend the rest of his time in office, immersed in a virtual reality where all Americans look at him with love and trust and his hands appear much bigger.

Republicans have so far ignored what Americans want, time will tell if they've grown so desperate, they may consider representing the wishes of their constituents.

Obliviously, in his pursuit to keep conning his supporters to stay behind him, Trump has been building a "big beautiful" wall between himself and the majority of Americans since he was inaugurated and it's only getting taller.

"Look, I don't know this 'Donald Trump Jr.', I've never heard the name before and I've never met with him. This is Fake Son, a total fraud, just propaganda probably being made up by Obama and the left wing media," Trump ranted.

An attempted crime is still an effort to commit a crime...which is a crime. If bank robbers failed in a heist, if terrorists failed in an attack, if a rapist failed in a rape attempt...are they all innocent because they didn't succeed at the intended crime?

Some may see it as fitting that on July 4th, a day of patriotism, Donald Trump was attacked by Bob The Bald Eagle.

The House's and Senate's so-called "health care" bills are transparent tools of class warfare, they are defined by the Congressional Budget Office as ripping away healthcare from 22 million to 24 million Americans to deliver hundreds of billions of dollars in tax cuts to the wealthiest Americans.

"I'm not a witch! There are reasons why I can't float or be seen in a mirror, believe me! I just don't want to, If I wanted to, I could. But I want to tell all those witch hunters at the FBI something, you like not being a toad? Ask yourselves that, that's all I'm gonna say," Trump smirked before transforming into a weasel then becoming irritated because no one noticed.

A new MSM motto may be adapted from an old cliche (that G.W. Bush is famous for messing up), "Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice, works for me if our ratings go up!"

TRUMP: "I know that and I know all about vows, I've made three of the most magnificent wedding vows and each was more absolute than the last."