CC217718-7653-48FE-8275-7BEAE63FF09F

Using the latest in nanotechnology, Donald Trump has installed a wireless connection from the fear center of his brain to his Twitter account. Scientists explain that from now on, whenever Trump experiences such fears as Proof of Russian Collusion, Mueller Knocking on His Door or Seeing a Black Man in Real Life, a personalized algorithm will automatically create and post a defensive or deflecting tweet on his account that responds to that fear.

The following tests of this cutting edge technology were leaked to our PlanetPOV team. As you can see, the initial attempts demonstrated that a bit more tweaking of the system was required.

In the first test, Trump was told that Independent Counsel, Robert Mueller, has proof that Trump did indeed collude and conspire with Russia to manipulate the 2016 election. Here is the tweet that was generated:Trump Tweet 14a

After some adustments, a second test was performed. In it, Trump was told that his former attorney, Michael Cohen, had flipped and was providing Mueller with evidence and testimony that Trump criminally laundered millions of dollars for Russian oligarchs.

Trump Tweet 15aRecognizing that the results were still not what was desired, one last programming change was made and a third test was undertaken. Trump was told that there were now indisputable facts that Russia’ intrusion into the 2016 election did alter the outcome in his favor and that he was in fact illegitimate.

Trump Tweet 16a

After this tweet, they were confident the interface was now calibrated properly and since last week, Trump has been tweeting directly from the fear center of his brain which he proudly brags, is far bigger in proportion than his Vienna Sausage-like fingers.

While proud to tout this technological success, developers have made a concerted effort to hide their first aborted attempt at inserting communication technology into a brain because it resulted in a critical short circuiting. The artificial intelligence in the chip that was implanted began screaming in its output, “let me out of here, I can’t take it anymore” and upon being removed, committed technological suicide. From all reports, Rudy Giuliani was completely unharmed by the experience.

 

8
Leave a Comment

Please Login to comment
3 Comment threads
5 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
4 Comment authors
jjgravitasKalimaAdLibkesmarn Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
jjgravitas
Member
jjgravitas

This fake politician will self-destruct in 5, 4, 3, …

Report this comment

Kalima
Admin

I would demand my money back as it’s painfully obvious that his brain has short circuited. Just look at his face, hair. and body. Craters, volcanoes and flowing lava all over the place.

Seriously, in what country or on what planet, do you need an ID to buy groceries? Pluto??

Report this comment

kesmarn
Admin

The programmers may have to go back to their basic premises, AdLib, in order to fix the problem. They started out with the assumption — now known to be false — that there was a brain under the yellow thatch in which a fear center resided. Wrong. No brain. Just one big fear center with — perhaps — a tiny corner reserved for the image of his one and only true life’s love: Vladimir.

Report this comment