Phil Griffin, President of MSNBC, announced today that they will be spinning off a brand new 24 hour news channel that will be completely dedicated to news stories and commentary about Donald Trump’s Presidential campaign, to be named MSTRUMP.
“There’s no denying that at least to the media, Donald Trump is endlessly fascinating and controversial,” Griffin noted. “Sure, he may say things purely out of self-interest and self-promotion that are racist, dishonest and intended only to whip up his popularity with the Republican base at the expense of insulting and offending the majority of Americans but to us, he’s a dream come true!”
Griffin said that he is not bothered by claims that his channels are actually elevating and promoting the racism and ignorance that’s contained in Trump’s calculated-to-be-outrageous statements. “Is what he says based on any facts or truly worthy of putting on newscasts? No. Does Trump even believe most of what he says? I doubt it. Should Trump be treated as someone who isn’t a serious candidate for President and a reality show huckster? Of course. Is MSNBC changing its business model to one that more resembles prostitution? Absolutely. But do you have any idea how much we can make in one night?” Griffin propositioned.
To kick off their new venture, Griffin stated that MSTRUMP will begin programming their channel by repeating their interview with Trump every other hour. In between, hosts will show clips of that interview and along with guest pundits, will make funny faces, smile a lot, shake their heads and look right into the camera to ask viewers, “Can you believe this?” Griffin plans to add new programs to the channel in the coming weeks including, “Morning Trump”, “Meet The Trump”, “The Trump Cycle” and “The Trumpman Show”.
“We have a responsibility as The Fourth Estate in this democracy, to get the most viewers we can so we can make the most ad revenue possible,” Griffin said as he rubbed his hands together like the fictional animated character Montgomery Burns. “Our Democracy is resilient, it can take all the denigration our collaboration with Donald Trump can heap upon it. In fact, it only makes our democracy stronger. So as we participate with Trump to broadcast the most inane, self-promoting, racist and offensive statements as he attempts to turn one of our most important democratic processes into a ridiculous and farcical spectacle, we’re only making our democracy stronger,” Griffin insisted while rolling his eyes and being unable to hold back his laughter.
MSTRUMP is scheduled to launch next week after taking a slow escalator down from MSNBC.