Bizarro Romney, the imperfect replica of Mitt Romney who had surfaced recently and encouraged predictions that he would run for President, made a statement to his supporters today about his potential run for the the Presidency in 2016. The text of his statement is below:
BIZARRO ROMNEY: “Goodbye! Me am Bizarro Romney and me very disappointed at support you have shown me. Me have been in the media a lot lately for one reason, me have nothing to say that matters. For bad example, me talk about how me now care so much about poor people. It am true, me believe best way to help poor people am to tell them me want to help them. That am all me need to do and me also help them by cutting taxes for people who am rich.
Me believe that Obama am too weak and too strong. Obama am bad for country and him prove it by making economy and employment better. He hurt Americans by getting 10 million on health insurance that help them and save them’s lives. Obama hurt poor by wanting to raise minimum wage and hurt middle class by wanting to make them pay less taxes.
It am so obvious. Who care more for poor people, man whose family was once poor or son of millionaire governor who buy elevator for car? Me even care about things not alive, that am how compassionate me am (car have too much trouble going up escalator).
Hillary am bad candidate for President. She not man, she not cause Benghazi and she not Bizarro Romney. She not know world things like me. Me predict that London Olympics be disaster, me promise US economy be destroyed after Obama re-election and me know only way to make peace with Iran am to bomb them.
It am clear that me am best man to become President. Many in Republican Party prove that by saying, ‘Romney stinks!’ and ‘Me not give money to Romney for campaign’. Me want to thank all them who say such nice things to encourage me.
Because of that and because me want to be President more than anything in world, me now announce that me not run for President! Me hope that me now go up in the polls and me am on way to becoming President of 53%!
Me again want to say one more time how much it depress me that you be so supportive of me running for President. Me wish you bad luck and Satan curse this nation.