Kim Jong Il - Santa

It’s that time of year when magical wishes are in the air and people believe that fantasies can come true…no, it’s not Rand Paul’s Presidential campaign launch, it’s Christmas!

To celebrate Christmas here at PlanetPOV, we’ve contacted some of the people who have been in the news this year to share with us their favorite things about Christmas. We hope this helps get you in the Christmas spirit!

FAVORITE THINGS ABOUT CHRISTMAS

The New York City Police Union:

“What we love most about Christmas is the movie “A Christmas Story”, about a white kid who carries an air gun which makes him adorable, the song White Christmas and the tradition of shooting tear gas at black people who stand under the mistletoe for too long.”

Vladimir Putin:

“I like that Costco makes rolls of wrapping paper  the size of Crimea and that there was a Christmas sale on jet packs at Sky Mall…that could really come in handy very soon.”

The Koch Brothers:

“We enjoy Christmas because that’s when tons of of trees are cut down, tons of paper is bought, torn up and thrown away and we actually look forward to getting coal in our stockings.”

Dick Cheney:

“I love Christmastime because I get to watch my favorite shows, The Grinch…except the ending, Scrooge…except the ending and the biggest of all stories about giving to the neediest people (and corporations are people), The Iraq War…except the ending.”

Kim Jong Un:

(Instead of giving us his list of favorite things about Christmas, Kim Jong Un chose instead to share one of his favorite Christmas songs instead, rewritten into perfection by The Supreme Leader of course. Here is his version of  the classic comedy Christmas song, “ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS”)

All I want for Christmas
by Kim Jong Un

Everybody stops
And stares at me
My Dad Kim Jong Il is
Gone as you can see
I don’t know just who
To blame for this catastrophe!
But my one wish on Christmas Eve
Is as plain as it can be!

All I want for Christmas
Is to hack Sony
To hack Sony
To hack Sony!

Gee if I could only
Hack those dogs of Sony
Then I could wish you
“Merry Un-Christmas.”

It seems so long since I could say,
“We’ll destroy DC with a missile!”
Gosh oh gee, how happy I’d be,
If my threats wouldn’t fizzle!

All I want for Christmas
Is to hack Sony,
To hack Sony,
To hack Sony.
Gee, if I could only
Hack those dogs at Sony
Then I could wish you
“Merry Un-Christmas.”

To all our members and readers out there, we wish you a very happy holiday season and a really wonderful New Year!

6
Leave a Comment

Please Login to comment
3 Comment threads
3 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
4 Comment authors
jjgravitasAdLibEXFANOFARIANAkesmarn Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
jjgravitas
Member
jjgravitas

A bit of fun from Pee-Wee’s Playhouse Christmas Special
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8jgIWVrDxuQ

Report this comment

EXFANOFARIANA
Member
EXFANOFARIANA

I was so desperately in need of a wonderful laugh.Thanks, my friend.Merry Christmas, Festivus, Hanukkah ,Hindus,Muslims and atheists..MAY PEACE REIGN OVER THE WORLD.

Report this comment

kesmarn
Admin

😆 AdLib, my son is home from grad school and I read this to him. He laughed so hard! He thought it was hilarious — and so do I.

Thanks for one of the best laughs of the day on Christmas! And all the best to you and the family.

Report this comment