gop press

A majority of Republican Congressmen have banded together to file a joint lawsuit against their own wives for taking out the trash at their homes.

“This is an overreach of domestic power,” Texas Senator Ted Cruz stated. “It was done without the proper authority and is destructive to the institution of marriage.”

Cruz and the majority of Republican men in Congress explained that it was their sole responsibility to take the trash out in their house and that their wives’ unilateral action in taking it out makes it impossible for the trash to be taken out in the future.

“Our wives have undermined our ability to trust them and without trust, they’ve taken away the basis for us to work together and get anything done,” expressed House Speaker, John Boehner. “Just to be clear, as has been the case for our party for many years, we’re talking trash.”

These Republicans stated that even though they hadn’t taken out the trash for over a year, despite the fact that their wives had given their approval way back then, they were going to eventually solve the trash accumulation issue. “We wanted to address the trash issue in a piecemeal fashion, first we want to fully secure our trash can lids. Once they’re fully secure, then we can address taking the trash out,” detailed incoming Majority Leader, Senator Mitch McConnell. “Our wives do not have the right to just take the trash out on their own just because we haven’t addressed it yet.”

Many of the wives of Republicans are stunned by this surprise lawsuit, claiming that the trash that had been piling up at their homes for years had gotten out of control and was causing safety and security emergencies. They claim that something had to be done soon before it became a disaster. Their Republican husbands replied only by decrying what they claim is the usurping of their power.

Boehner made it clear, “We completely oppose our wives acting like emperors and making a decision that was ours to make. We would rather live with mountains of garbage than give up our power to not take it out!”

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KalimaNirekAdLibEXFANOFARIANAGirlOutWest Recent comment authors
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Kalima
Admin

Very funny piece, AdLib! 😆

Oops!! I think that those wives threw out the wrong trash.

Definition of trash (sound familiar?)

trash (trsh)
n.
1.
a. Worthless or discarded material or objects; refuse or rubbish.
b. Something broken off or removed to be discarded, especially plant trimmings.
c. The refuse of sugar cane after extraction of the juice.

2. A place or receptacle where rubbish is discarded: threw the wrapper in the trash.

3.
a. Empty words or ideas.
b. Worthless or offensive literary or artistic material.
c. Disparaging, often abusive speech about a person or group.

4. A person or group of people regarded as worthless or contemptible.
tr.v. trashed, trash·ing, trash·es
1. Slang
a. To throw away; discard: trashed the broken toaster.
b. To wreck or destroy by or as if by vandalism; reduce to trash or ruins.
c. To beat up; assault.
d. To subject to scathing criticism or abuse; attack verbally: “The … professor trashes conservative … proposals as well as liberal nostrums” (Michael Marien).

trash – worthless people
scum
ragtag, ragtag and bobtail, riffraff, rabble

trash – nonsensical talk or writing
codswallop, folderol, trumpery, wish-wash, applesauce, rubbish, tripe
drivel, garbage – a worthless message
jargon, lingo, patois, argot, vernacular, slang, cant – a characteristic language of a particular group (as among thieves); “they don’t speak our lingo”

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Nirek
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Kalima, they fit all definitions but, a. Worthless or discarded material or objects; refuse or rubbish. describes them best.

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Kalima
Admin

I agree, Nirek but am rather partial to “Empty words and ideas” and “trash – nonsensical talk or writing – codswallop, folderol, trumpery, wish-wash, applesauce, rubbish, tripe, drivel, garbage – a worthless message -” too. 🙂

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Nirek
Member

Excellent piece, Ad.
I saw Lindsey Grahm complaining about missing a chance to blame Obama for Benghazi when it came out that there was no blame for that tragidy.
Sure wish we could put trash like him out.

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EXFANOFARIANA
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EXFANOFARIANA

Nirek..Ot/To could only respond here. To complete my biography, I was married – EXTRAORDINARILY – happy for 18 years to my late husband.We were factually a two of a kind.My first one was a terrific environment freak as well. An utter humanist with an amazing love for animals and the planet..And one of the first guys to build a recycle plant in Italy.xx

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Kalima
Admin

Hello Nirek. A lot of indignant foot stomping from Ms Lindsey. Could it be menopausal? Without Benghazi, what will become of him? 😉

http://edition.cnn.com/2014/11/23/politics/lindsey-graham-benghazi-report/

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EXFANOFARIANA
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EXFANOFARIANA

Hysterical, AdLib…..LOLOLOLOL!!!!!!! Yet…their (spouses) haven’t taken all the trash out, right? I mean, they are still living in their houses….

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traceymarie
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traceymarie

that was absolutely hilariously spot on great!

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Too bad the (non) voters didn’t take the trash out when they had the chance!

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GirlOutWest
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GirlOutWest

I can not get over the lazy, passé voters. Colorado has elected two terrible Republicans…Cory Gardner and Mike Coffman.

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James Michael Brodie
Member

Genius.

And, of course, these men will have to go to the store to get something to drink as their wives have poisoned the tap water…

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Very funny stuff Ad! I have to say, your satirical style is delightful! A very good satirical analogy to the current insanity exhibited by Boehner and his band of malcontents.

Kudos my friend!

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James Michael Brodie
Member

Not that I would want to help them out, KillgoreTrout, but it sure seems to me that a better strategy would have been to stay silent until they took office. At this point, they have have sort of… well… they … um… finished before they… um, you know…

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Hey J! The GOPers just can’t help themselves. They’re so starving for a piece of Obama that it’s made them absolutely crazy. It’s a sure case of Obama Derangement Syndrome! 😎

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