The classic commercial for the United Negro College Fund coined the phrase, “A mind is a terrible thing to waste.” A portion of the Republican Party apparently begs to differ with that proposition as well as what it and the organization that promoted it represented.
The real issue here is that when you criticize white people in power for using their power to further oppress black people, you’re being racist. After all, aren’t you attacking only white people when you do so? You might as well have separate unemployment rates, incarceration rates and separate political parties for white people and black people to join! GOP Representative Mo Brooks of Alabama has a mind like a steel trap…that has been left in an Alabama swamp and rusted shut…and declared today on that fountain of racial tolerance, The Laura Ingraham Show that:
“This is a part of the war on whites that’s being launched by the Democratic Party. And the way in which they’re launching this war is by claiming that whites hate everybody else. It’s part of the strategy that Barack Obama implemented in 2008, continued in 2012, where he divides us all on race, on sex, greed, envy, class warfare, all those kinds of things. Well that’s not true.”
He is so right! First off, we all know that Democrats aren’t white, otherwise, how could Democrats be on one side of a war and white people be on the other side? And making such a statement in itself, that all white people are under attack by a political party with a substantial minority base, couldn’t be blatant racism…at least within most communities where crosses keep catching fire.
I mean, it’s not like he’s generalizing and stereotyping, right? And how can you think of racial division and bigotry and not think of white people in the Republican party and Barack Obama? I mean, come on, haven’t white men been attacked enough already…just for attacking minorities, women and 99% of Americans? Is nothing sacred? It’s clear that the terrible prejudice of Democrats comes from still holding onto resentments from what they perceive as wrongs in the distant past. Well, voter suppression laws to prevent black and minority citizens from voting were passed over a year ago, can’t we move on already?
In fact, here are some suggestions for legislation The House can pass to protect white people from the institutionalized racism that poor people and minorities have been using to oppress them:
The Voting Whites Act
This bill protects white voters from intimidation by making it illegal for up to three black people to dress up as “The New Black Panthers” and stand in front of a mostly black polling place. It also gives white voters the right to vote multiple times on behalf of any neighbors, relatives or imaginary friends who would have voted for the same candidate(s) if they could have. And to counterbalance unfair over-voting by minorities, each white vote will be democratically multiplied by two.
The Trolls to the Polls Act
In order to encourage voter turnout in white areas, an increased number of polling places will be set up in their districts, early voting will apply just to them and absentee ballots will be sent out to all white voters only. To prevent minority voters from oppressing the white vote, crocodile moats will encircle all polling places in their districts, ballots will be made out of edible rice paper and they will be pre-marked with the superior white-favored candidates selected. Black people must prove their citizenship and right to vote if they do somehow make it to the polls, only official Republican National Committee membership IDs will be accepted as proof of citizenship.
The Apart Tide Act
In the pursuit of combating those behind the tide of pulling Americans apart from each other, this law would protect all racial communities by setting up protective barriers around those communities most under siege. This would apply to all white communities. Those who are not white and want to enter these communities will be required to have papers that document their identity and allow authorities to track their white-oppressing activities. Special buses that only have seats at the back of the bus will be exclusively provided for non-whites traveling in these communities and in case of an attack on the community, a Ted Nugent song will be played over the town’s loudspeakers to quickly evacuate whites from their homes and get them running for the hills.
Too bad Congress is on vacation for this entire month, it’s iffy whether white people will be able to survive until they return and pass theses laws.