cable stations

Thanks for coming, have a seat. I wanted to talk to you about your cable news stations. I’ve just had them in for an examination and I have something difficult to tell you so please prepare yourselves. Your cable news stations are suffering from Alzheimer’s Disease.

You may or may not have noticed some of the symptoms, telling the same stories hour after hour, day after day as if they’ve never told them before. They become fixated on small things, have bouts of fantasy about what might be happening at a given time or in the future and seem incapable of being a part of a rational conversation.

I know you care about your news. Sometimes when you’re really close to something, you find ways of rationalizing away the signs of decline. You might have told yourself, my tv news is just a little confused or it’s just having a bad day. However, when you look at the big picture of its behavior over a long period of time, putting aside your desire for tv news to remain competent year after year, the sad truth becomes quite plain.

While I was examining CNN, it became caught in this conversational loop, talking about a Malaysian plane and how it was missing. No matter what questions or comments I made about things that were actually happening today, it just kept repeating and embellishing on stories about a plane being missing. One moment it was talking about the cause being terrorists, aliens or black holes swallowing the plane up, next it was having a running conversation with itself, asking itself what it thought about the thoughts it had about the plane. It was a convoluted and confusing discussion with no real purpose but it seemed to make perfect sense to itself. CNN also seemed wholly unaware that it was drooling the whole time and interspersing shouts of, “Where’s my money?” throughout it’s rambling conversation.

When I walked into the examination room Fox News was waiting in, it was facing the smallest corner of the room with a distant, angry look in its eyes while chanting “Benghazi!”. I attempted to engage it in a conversation but it kept shutting me off with exclamations of “Pinhead!”, instead espousing one paranoia-based conspiracy theory after another, often blaming “females” “heathens” and “coloreds” for plotting against them and causing all the ills of the world throughout history. Fox would exhibit flashes of hostility when anything it said was challenged. It began hording whatever supplies it could find in the drawers and cabinets, claiming, “That’s mine!” and “You can’t take this away from me!”. Quite by accident, I found that by giving it a piece of extra white bread that it could suck on, it became more docile and submissive.

While I was in Fox’s examination room, I could hear MSNBC pounding on the connecting wall and by the time I actually got in there, its face was flushed and it had worked itself into a lather, with an actual froth around its mouth. It kept repeating all of the angry exclamations that it heard Fox making and was furiously shaking its head, “It’s a lie! They’re liars! They lie!”. I did my best to convince MSNBC that I had heard what it said and thought but hour after hour, it just kept repeating what it claimed were terrible lies then denounced them as such. MSNBC would have almost identical lengths of lucid periods in which it could express cogent thoughts but they were immediately followed by 30 second statements that came off as devious and dishonest, stating just the opposite of what they were stating at length just moments before. There was disorientation as well, it would present it’s right hand but would call it “Left”. As I was leaving the room, MSNBC looked up at the ceiling and started smiling and waving. I asked it who it was waving to and it said, “My shareholders!”

My recommendation at this point is not to institutionalize your cable news networks but keep them in a protective environment to give them full time care they need and so they’re not a danger to themselves or anyone around them. Also, they should never be left alone as if they could be responsible for making good decisions on their own.

I wish you all the best with your cable news stations. Just remember not to take anything they say too much to heart, especially the more hostile words, it’s just part of their disease.

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monicaangela
Member

Ad Lib,

There is no need to thank me for telling the truth as I see it. I truly enjoy this site and do appreciate your hard work and the hard work of others here. This is a busy time of year for me, so I haven’t had an opportunity to be as involved as I would like to be. I hope to be able to spend more time here soon, and hope my contribution will be worthy of consideration by the posters here. I have enjoyed reading the new post as well as the old, I come many times just to read what is being said here, the humor is fantastic and the thought that goes into the articles here leave me a bit intimidated when it comes to writing or expressing my thoughts. I have many topics I am passionate about, and soon when I find the time to put my thoughts together I will go to the dashboard and leave something for your approval. 😉 Keep up the good work, I’m enjoying every bit of it.

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monicaangela
Member

Excellent diagnosis Dr. Adlib. I really enjoy watching Democracy Now with Amy Goodman, she actually has real news to report, in depth news that the cable MSM either doesn’t cover, or covers with bias. Alzheimer’s in my opinion is letting them off lightly, I believe they are guilty of deceptive and abusive practices. Too bad they can’t be charged with that or can they?

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Unca Adverse
Guest
Unca Adverse

monicaangela Dir!
Amy is terrific and so is Krystal Ball who is a true progressive!
Long time no see, yore old pal Unca from HufPo . . .

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kesmarn
Admin

Welcome to the Planet, Unca Adverse! Hope to hear more from you!

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monicaangela
Member

Hello Unca,

Long time no see, good to know you’re still out there posting. Hope all is well with you. Yes, I agree, Krystal Ball is a true progressive, I enjoy her when I get a chance to watch her on MSNBC. I also like Steve Cornacki (not sure if I spelled his last name correctly)and of course Rachel Maddow. Hope to see you here again soon. 🙂

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Unca Adverse
Guest
Unca Adverse

I have become aware that a few regressives
do not approve of Joy-Ann Reid and her
“Reid Report” on MSNBC … how despicable!

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monicaangela
Member

Joy Reid is a very intelligent woman, I watch her from time to time and do enjoy her show when I have the time. Joy’s show is at 2:00 p.m. where I live, and I am usually out and about at that time.

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monicaangela
Member

Sorry to hear you don’t plan to continue to participate here, I truly enjoy the slower pace of this site. Actually Unca the site is what you make it. I don’t plan to post at any other site, I hope to see you here from time to time. 🙂

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Unca Adverse
Guest
Unca Adverse

Affirmative . . . Rachel Maddow is an exceptional freedom fighter and my Heroine (as are you).

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Unca Adverse
Guest
Unca Adverse

AdLib: People who have in the past coined new meaning for a word to enhance their own profits and satiate their greed are never able to alter its true meaning.
See: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Avatar
I have never eaten a MacDonalds hamburger so while such an act for me has no relevance I have seen an accurate chemical analysis of said product and never shall do so.
But Good Luck and Buen Apetito . . .

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Ad, when people go on about how many viewers FOX News has, I relate it to the number of “newspapers,” The National Inquirer sells. I know they sell millions, but that still doesn’t mean someone’s grandmother is an alien! 😉

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Unca Adverse
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Unca Adverse

AdLib: Although the many various opinions contained In your recent jeremiad were mildly amusing, the term “avatar”, now commonly misused due to its inappropriate use as the title of a movie depicting huge blue beings, is a word taken from the Sanskrit meaning “descent”.
As such it has religious meaning to some rather large sects located predominately in India and its present use may be offensive to them.
To my Sikh friend it means the deliberate descent of a soul to earth in any form.
I must assure that I am no deity descended from above but was borne here of woman and in three days will have existed for only eighty years.
Your parallel juxtaposing MacDonalds to PlanetPOV is not relevant.

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monicaangela
Member

Good Morning Ad Lib,

I believe you nailed it. I come here when I can because it is a sight as you say where a person can participate by conducting the conversation or commenting on the thoughts of others. This site is a wealth of knowledge if you know how to use it, in my opinion of course, I truly appreciate the manner in which the site is displayed, and I enjoy not having to feel obligated to argue an issue for the sake of argument if you know what I mean. I feel comfortable here, and will continue to post here for as long as I am allowed to do so.

I don’t believe Unca Adverse is accustomed to waiting for a reply to his comments, most who participated at HP were accustomed to having an immediate response to any comment they posted. It is a bit difficult to adjust to the change I guess, maybe he will be happier at the site he chooses to frequent, I truly hope so.

To sum up, let me just say that I truly appreciate your effort here, I appreciate the articles that are truly the thoughts of the posters, I enjoy the weekend music thread, Kalima’s Morning Blog and Kes’s weekend Funnies. Keep up the good work, I truly appreciate it, and plan to post here more often when I have more time.

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monicaangela
Member

I really appreciate that comment Unca Adverse, I believe that makes it a mutual admiration society where we are concerned. I would really love it if Rachel and a few other liberals would get progressive radio up and running again. I would hope that one of those liberals involved in the project would be Keith Olbermann. It would be nice to see the right wing conservative radio host get a bit of competition and lose some of their air time, they, IMO are ruining this nation.

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Kalima
Admin

Well that’s a shame Unca, hope you find what you are looking for somewhere else.

Just to clear a few things up, most of those members you are talking about that no longer post here, were an influx of posters from HP a few years ago when the takeover happened, and recently last year when HP demanded you all get a Facebook account. The majority have never once posted here, and returned to HP.

We are not a news site and have never claimed to be. We are an opinion site where people are free to give their point of view, and write articles without censorship.

We are a community here, many people work or lead busy lives. They come when they find the time.

FYI, we didn’t lose your avatar, there must be a problem where you signed on for it. Please check your settings there. Thanks.

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Unca Adverse
Guest
Unca Adverse

To My Dear monicaangela:
Many of the continuous posters on this site have been very kind to me. This is a very small blog and quite a few of its members do not post at all and have not done so for a long time. It does not adequately cover most current events and I will no longer participate here. Also they have lost my photo (what they falsely call an avatar). Soon I will commence posting on ‘Demo Under’. I may drop in on you only from time to time . . .
I never new that you are a beauty queen! __ Yore Unca Adverse

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kesmarn
Admin

Wonderful job, AdLib!

Anja Niedringhaus and Kathy Gannon. They were both shot today in Afghanistan. Kathy survived. Anja was not so fortunate.

Real people doing real jobs.

Dying young because their job is incredibly dangerous.

Something that the FOX babes and the CNN recyclers/regurgitators of “news” will never have to worry about. Shuttling back and forth in 6″ heels on polished floors between the overlit, tacky set and the green room is the biggest risk they take.

Their longevity is virtually guaranteed. Which does indeed give them plenty of time to develop a very stubborn case of Alzheimer’s.

Unfortunately for the rest of us.

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Kalima
Admin

Well said kes!

Remembering My Sisters in Danger, The AP’s Anja Niedringhaus and Kathy Gannon
by Kimberly Dozier

Two AP journalists, victims of a violent attack on Friday, took risks in Afghanistan that almost no one else covering the war was willing to take.

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/04/04/remembering-my-sisters-in-danger-the-ap-s-anja-niedringhaus-and-kathy-gannon.html

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kesmarn
Admin

Wow…Kalima, thanks for a wonderful article that really gives a very personal portrait of two remarkable women.

So courageous and so compassionate!

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Kalima
Admin

Hello kes. I was saving the story for the next updates but when I saw that you had mentioned their tragedy, I thought it was appropriate to post it.

Yes amazing and courageous women who deserve the name of journalist.

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James Michael Brodie
Member

As I sat before the TV
Came a sound, I thought it was news
They came into my apartment
They left half-truths on my carpet
I ran to get my remote
I could see they were unstable
So I found another station
It was no use, it was my doom

Help me, I’m not ok.
I’m not ok.
I’m not ok. Help me
Help me, I’m not ok.
I’m not ok.
I’m not ok. Help me
Help me, I’m not ok.
I’m not ok.
I’m not ok. Help me
Help me, I’m not ok, I’m not ok, help me

When I watch the TV
I’m bombarded
A crescendo angry
They came into my apartment
They left half-truths on the carpet
I ran to get my remote
I was struck down
It was my doom

Help me, I’m not ok.
I’m not ok.
I’m not ok. Help me
Help me, I’m not ok.
I’m not ok.
I’m not ok. Help me
Help me, I’m not ok.
I’m not ok.
I’m not ok. Help me

I’ve been hit by
I’ve been stuck by
Those news criminals…

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James Michael Brodie
Member

Doctor, doctor,
Here are the clues
They got a
Bad taste of fudging the news
No pill’s gonna soothe their ills
They got a
Bad taste
Of fudging
The news…

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Nice take off Jim! 😉

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James Michael Brodie
Member

Had to go there, KT. Saddens me that this is what passes for news reporting these days.

Those of us who were inspired to enter the profession by Woodward and Bernstein do not recognize this circus. We understood that we were not the news; we were merely the ones reporting it.

There was a scene in the film “The Paper” that summed up the Fourth Estate: The reporter’s character was demanding a raise because this person believes that s/he is what the news is all about. He starts to tell the reporter about his early days as a journalist in Paris, on the expense account. A number of them get together and head to a fancy restaurant and have a feast. When the bill comes, they realize that they do not have enough money.

An old man sitting at a nearby table sees this and summons the waiter. The old man scribbles something on a napkin, to the waiter’s delight. The waiter tells the journalists that the bill has been paid with the signature.

The old man was Pablo Picasso.

When the journalist asked for the meaning of the tale, the editor replied that we can go to all of the places the famous go to, but at the end of the day, we are them. We are not the ones people come to see.

Too many have forgotten this. Many more seem as though they never knew it.

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Unfortunately, so called journalists have been replaced by talking heads, who have become a sort of celebrity on cable news.

A big part of the reason for this is that “reporting,” has become a new form of entertainment. The news is no longer just reported, there is also the element of a new sport….politics.

I believe this is a big reason our country is so divided now. It’s always been divided along different lines, but now it’s
“the big game,” with dems on one side and repubs on the other. A very serious part of life in a democracy has been turned into a sport.

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Nirek
Member

Hey Doc, can you fix them? Please!

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pinkpantheroz
Member

Another symptom could be the lack of realization that news is already busted beyond repair by the time they cry ‘Breaking News”!

Maybe they ought to have a new banner ‘Complete and Correct News Coming Up”, but they’d probably drift off before typing it in.

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pinkpantheroz
Member

Congrats, Dr. Adlib! You will be awarded the Babel Prize for Medicine this year. If you have any more research funds, could you possibly look at some of the Main Stream Morning News shows. I think they’re regressing into Childhood. Take TODAY, for instance. On hard news they have the attention span of a 2-year old. After just a few minutes, they transmogrify into The Wiggles, with a lot of crosstalk, bright colors and annoying background music. The ABC isn’t much better, except some of the team look as if they’ve been sent to the Naughty Corner and replaced. The state of TV news all round is pretty sick, so your expertise is sorely needed. Well Done, Sir!

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Kalima
Admin

Dear Dr. AdLib, your diagnosis is so perfectly on target, that I can’t help wondering how the fate of your three patients affected you on that day? Were you sad, glad or mad?

So what now? Do we watch them with the sound off? Do we pat our tv screens while saying “There, there”? Or do we get all our news from The Planet now, as I hear that the folks there have been accused of telling the truth, and even making sense. 😯

Your medal for an enlightening and truthful synopsis is in the mail.

Well done Dr. Ad. May I call you Ad?

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KillgoreTrout
Member

Ad, don’t let any of them see, hear or even hear mention of the name Jon Stewart or “The Daily Show.” You’d have to break out the multi-armed straight jackets and call for security.

I suppose you could provide FOX with a little comfort by saying the name Stephen Colbert, over and over. They think he’s one of them.

Very funny stuff, my friend! 😉

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