• Facebook
  • Twitter
AdLib On October - 15 - 2012

After exhibiting signs of a psychiatric disorder, the Mainstream Media (MSM) has been clinically diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder which is SAD. The most difficult thing about this situation now is figuring out which mouth to put the Prozac into.

Depending, this can be a serious condition and can profoundly attack those close to the ones suffering from it, which means up to hundreds of millions of Americans (that’s a lot of support groups!). After being examined and receiving this diagnosis, it became clear that the MSM may also be suffering from other anxiety disorders.

Here’s a bit of explanation about anxiety disorders from Wikipedia:

A blanket term covering several different forms of a type of common psychiatric disorder characterized by excessive rumination, worrying, uneasiness, apprehension and fear about future uncertainties either based on real or imagined events, which may affect both physical and psychological health.


Or, as we have come to know it, “24 hour news broadcasting”.

As Wikipedia goes on to explain (with a little “clarification” from The Planet), anxiety disorder is divided into generalized anxiety disorder, phobic disorder, and panic disorder. The MSM has been diagnosed with suffering from all three as well as agoraphobia and of course, Social Anxiety Disorder as the following descriptions confirm:

a. Phobic Disorder
Cases in which fear and anxiety is triggered by a specific stimulus or situation. Sufferers typically anticipate terrifying consequences from encountering the object of their fear, which can be anything from not increasing their ratings and ad revenues to not increasing their ratings and ad revenue. Sufferers understand that their fear is not proportional to the actual potential danger but still are overwhelmed by the fear…coincidentally, especially as the end of each quarter approaches.

b. Panic disorder
Suffering from brief attacks of intense terror and apprehension, often marked by attributing the term “Breaking News” to stories that aren’t, confusion, spinning and difficulty identifying bullshit. These panic attacks, defined by the APA as fear or discomfort that abruptly arises and peaks in less than ten minutes, can last for several hours and even complete broadcast days, can be triggered by stress, fear, or slow news days; the specific cause is not always apparent but may sometimes have bought advertising during that hour.

c. Agoraphobia
The specific anxiety about being in a place, situation or news cycle where escape is difficult or embarrassing or where help may be unavailable. A common manifestation involves needing to be in constant view of a door or other escape route or being in close proximity to a commercial break. This may also be exhibited when covering a Presidential race and the sufferer feels “locked in” to the likely results too early on, an intense anxiety grows on how to escape the nerve-racking dip in ratings they fear they may experience.

In addition to the fears themselves, the term agoraphobia is often used to refer to avoidance behaviors that sufferers often develop. For example, following a panic attack while honestly reporting on a less-competitive campaign, those suffering from agoraphobia may develop anxiety over honesty itself and will therefore avoid it in future occasions.

d. Social anxiety disorder
Social anxiety disorder (SAD; also known as social phobia) describes an intense fear and avoidance of negative public scrutiny, public embarrassment, humiliation, or social interaction. This fear is also coincidentally taught as a strength in a training program for Republican politician hopefuls.

Social anxiety often manifests specific physical symptoms, including forced chuckling, repetition of celebrities’ names and interviews with Reince Priebus.

As with all phobic disorders, those suffering from social anxiety often will attempt to avoid the source of their anxiety, namely, that of decreasing partisan conflict by honestly presenting issues that might attract the biggest consensus between Democrats and Republicans. Instead, they take refuge in panel shows with names such as “Fox and Friends” and “The Cycle” where they can feel protected in the arms of total doofuses who couldn’t even bring people together in a Soylent Green factory.

Now that we know the Mainstream Media is suffering from these debilitating mental condition, perhaps we can become more understanding when they express panic because the focus on an election isn’t about the horse race or when they obsess about smiles over lies in a debate. At such times, we need to remember, they have a mental illness and the best thing we can do for them is understand that and not look at what they say as something that should bother us.

Only by recognizing the MSM as mentally ill, can we help it and help ourselves. To do otherwise would be crazy.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

10 Responses so far.

Click here to leave a comment
  1. jjgravitas says:

    To diagnose the MSM is really to diagnose society as a whole (we work there, we report (on each other), we watch, we disagree), so to diagnose the MSM is also to diagnose ourselves. It’s not a stretch to say the entire country suffers from SAD. The Great Repression -- sorry, “recession” -- is resulting in a great depression. Now I’m SAD.

    It is a curious trait of mankind, that we work so hard to tear down the very people who work to improve our world. Green energy? Bah! Save the rain forest? Bah! Universal healthcare? Bah! Require the rich to pay more so that our country might be solvent again? Bah!

    Open Question: in a society of seven billion people, how can it be wrong to be socialist?

    I’m serious.

    • AdLib says:

      jjgravitas, the annoying thing is that despite the protests to the opposite, America does believe in socialism…as long as it’s called something else. Like SS or Medicare or even its progressive tax system.

      For the greedy, destroying the Earth or the future to gain greater profits is a good deal, there is no conscience restraining these sociopaths.

      I don’t know if the media reflects the masses or if it instead brainwashes and programs the less educated but I lean towards the latter.

  2. agrippa says:

    My knowledge of the “MSM” is hearsay, as I have not watched it in years -- 10 years or more. The only TV that I watch is sports ( light entertainment.
    I am so old fashioned that I wish newspapers were still useful.

    For news, I go about the internet looking at foreign papers and magazines on line. And books. I noticed that good reporters mostly write books nowadays. History books are good for perspective and critical distance. people are people and you can see pattern over time ( nothing new under the sun and all that).

    The article is funny as the MSM does seem to be very emotional.

    • AdLib says:

      agrippa, a wise and more informed way to go. Those who rely primarily on the MSM to be informed are ironically often misinformed and underinformed.

      Yep, the MSM definitely needs their Ritalin right about now.

      • agrippa says:

        Adlib, the MSM has neither professional detachment nor critical distance.
        They can do other, as they are in the entertainment business; they are there to put on a show.

  3. Funny stuff Ad. I think come November 7th, the MSM is going to be suffering from PTLD….Post Traumatic Loss Disorder!

  4. choicelady says:

    Clearly this heightens our choices this election.

    ONLY in Obamacare are mental health disorders given equal treatment coverage so that restoration of health can be achieved. Under Romney mental disorders are transformed into desirable traits and dysfunction elevated to an upper class good.

    These are our choices. MSM? You can choose, too -- pick wisely.

    • AdLib says:

      CL, well, if corporations are people then can’t they have psychiatric conditions as well?

      Hey…maybe we could put corporations in a psychiatric hospital for sociopathic symptoms? Maybe make them wards of the state?

      • choicelady says:

        Hmmm -- I LIKE that “wards of the state” EXCEPT if the “state” is RomneyLand. Then it will increase their insanity, not restore them to health.

        It all depends on who is reviewing the patient. Is it Nurse Ratched or is it Olver SAchs? It really does matter!

Leave your Comment

You must be logged in to post a comment.

Back to top
PlanetPOV Tweets
Ongoing Stories