The MSM Has Been Diagnosed with SAD (Social Anxiety Disorder)

After exhibiting signs of a psychiatric disorder, the Mainstream Media (MSM) has been clinically diagnosed with Social Anxiety Disorder which is SAD. The most difficult thing about this situation now is figuring out which mouth to put the Prozac into.

Depending, this can be a serious condition and can profoundly attack those close to the ones suffering from it, which means up to hundreds of millions of Americans (that’s a lot of support groups!). After being examined and receiving this diagnosis, it became clear that the MSM may also be suffering from other anxiety disorders.

Here’s a bit of explanation about anxiety disorders from Wikipedia:

A blanket term covering several different forms of a type of common psychiatric disorder characterized by excessive rumination, worrying, uneasiness, apprehension and fear about future uncertainties either based on real or imagined events, which may affect both physical and psychological health.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder

Or, as we have come to know it, “24 hour news broadcasting”.

As Wikipedia goes on to explain (with a little “clarification” from The Planet), anxiety disorder is divided into generalized anxiety disorder, phobic disorder, and panic disorder. The MSM has been diagnosed with suffering from all three as well as agoraphobia and of course, Social Anxiety Disorder as the following descriptions confirm:

a. Phobic Disorder
Cases in which fear and anxiety is triggered by a specific stimulus or situation. Sufferers typically anticipate terrifying consequences from encountering the object of their fear, which can be anything from not increasing their ratings and ad revenues to not increasing their ratings and ad revenue. Sufferers understand that their fear is not proportional to the actual potential danger but still are overwhelmed by the fear…coincidentally, especially as the end of each quarter approaches.

b. Panic disorder
Suffering from brief attacks of intense terror and apprehension, often marked by attributing the term “Breaking News” to stories that aren’t, confusion, spinning and difficulty identifying bullshit. These panic attacks, defined by the APA as fear or discomfort that abruptly arises and peaks in less than ten minutes, can last for several hours and even complete broadcast days, can be triggered by stress, fear, or slow news days; the specific cause is not always apparent but may sometimes have bought advertising during that hour.

c. Agoraphobia
The specific anxiety about being in a place, situation or news cycle where escape is difficult or embarrassing or where help may be unavailable. A common manifestation involves needing to be in constant view of a door or other escape route or being in close proximity to a commercial break. This may also be exhibited when covering a Presidential race and the sufferer feels “locked in” to the likely results too early on, an intense anxiety grows on how to escape the nerve-racking dip in ratings they fear they may experience.

In addition to the fears themselves, the term agoraphobia is often used to refer to avoidance behaviors that sufferers often develop. For example, following a panic attack while honestly reporting on a less-competitive campaign, those suffering from agoraphobia may develop anxiety over honesty itself and will therefore avoid it in future occasions.

d. Social anxiety disorder
Social anxiety disorder (SAD; also known as social phobia) describes an intense fear and avoidance of negative public scrutiny, public embarrassment, humiliation, or social interaction. This fear is also coincidentally taught as a strength in a training program for Republican politician hopefuls.

Social anxiety often manifests specific physical symptoms, including forced chuckling, repetition of celebrities’ names and interviews with Reince Priebus.

As with all phobic disorders, those suffering from social anxiety often will attempt to avoid the source of their anxiety, namely, that of decreasing partisan conflict by honestly presenting issues that might attract the biggest consensus between Democrats and Republicans. Instead, they take refuge in panel shows with names such as “Fox and Friends” and “The Cycle” where they can feel protected in the arms of total doofuses who couldn’t even bring people together in a Soylent Green factory.

Now that we know the Mainstream Media is suffering from these debilitating mental condition, perhaps we can become more understanding when they express panic because the focus on an election isn’t about the horse race or when they obsess about smiles over lies in a debate. At such times, we need to remember, they have a mental illness and the best thing we can do for them is understand that and not look at what they say as something that should bother us.

Only by recognizing the MSM as mentally ill, can we help it and help ourselves. To do otherwise would be crazy.