If you have been watching a news network recently, or Fox for that matter, you will have been inundated with predictions, prognostications and prophecies about the Obama-Romney debate that takes place tomorrow night. This is a valuable function of our press…in addition to keeping us fully informed about celebrity sideboobs (Huffington Post, you will always be my sideboob!), filling time up before a media event with a repetitive regurgitation of hyperbole and supposition instead of wasting the public’s time on reporting on something that is actually happening that day.

Think of it as having imaginary appetizers at your five year old daughter’s backyard tea party…for three days straight without any real food along the way. Of course it makes you hungry not to consume any substance for days, imaginary or not, why do you think they call them appetizers? Aren’t you hungry now? Well?

Thanks to a consensus of media pundits, it’s perfectly clear what we can expect from the debate. Mitt Romney will successfully re-introduce himself for the 27th time while affirming that he is every previous incarnation of himself. He will both deliver effective zingers and come off as over-rehearsed. Obama will connect with the American Public while being too professorial and condescending towards Romney. Both candidates are poor debaters with obstacles to winning while both are also excellent debaters with effective strategies. And as all pundits agree, debates often change everything and they rarely change anything.

BTW, the official mascot for this debate will be The Scarecrow from the Wizard of Oz who points in opposite directions…and sings that official theme song of punditry, “If I Only Had a Brain”.

The problem with the media and pundits spending an enormous amount of news broadcast time speculating about something that hasn’t happened is that they are jumping off a mountain after only climbing half way up it. If they had any conviction…well, they probably wouldn’t be pundits but put that aside for now…they would go The Full Romney and not just predict what will happen but review the debate that they imagine will happen.

Fortunately, PlanetPOV is stepping in to complete this Mobius Loop of Punditry by publishing a review of the debate that we predict will happen. So, here we go.

First off, I hate to say I told you so but I told you so. The debate we’re predicting unfolded exactly as we predicted. In the end, the low expectations for Romney couldn’t have been met more perfectly. He did the deficient job he needed to do and then some, which explains why most in the media, who were coincidentally wearing, “Romney/Ratings 2012” buttons,  declared Mitt Romney the winner of the debate (and held their fingers in their ears and chanted “I can’t hear you!” each time Barack Obama spoke).

Romney’s winning this debate in the eyes of the Mainstream Media came as an absolute surprise to anyone who doesn’t know the phrase “Nielsen Ratings”. Especially in light of responses that some on Twitter have deemed “Totally UnBieber”, it is a victory for Romney to have come out on top of that President guy.

Recapping his debate performance, there were a number of tense moments for Mitt Romney in the debate. His attempt to diffuse the negative impact from his “47 Percent of Americans are moochers I can’t worry about” video seemed to have come off a bit less effectively than he had hoped:

MITT ROMNEY: “I will be the President of 100% of Americans. Asterisk. Oh, ignore that. What I’m trying to say is that I feel your pain. When your show horse doesn’t win an Olympic medal in dressage, I know how that hurts. When your blind trust invests in Chinese off shoring and it hurts your Presidential campaign, I feel ya, bro. When your wife goes on national tv and says she worries about your mental health, ‘Bang! Zoom! To the moon, Alice’, am I right? I love you women, I like sport and fried poultry like you men, I’m one of you, don’t let the pedicure fool you.”

Romney’s evading details could have worked against him as well but thankfully, the expectations of his performance at the debate were lower than those for a Tea Party protester at a spelling bee.

JIM LEHRER: “Governor Romney, could you provide details of what deductions you would cut in order to pay for an across the board 20% income tax cut?”

MITT ROMNEY: “Of course Jim, heh-heh! To be very frank and specific, I think cheesy grits are delicious.”

JIM LEHRER: “Excuse me sir but I’m asking you for details on how you would pay for your proposed tax cuts.”

MITT ROMNEY: “Of course, heh-heh! There are many deductions that I would cut that would affect all taxpayers while at the same time, won’t affect them at all. In order to get this economy going and balance our budget, we need to cut taxes in a way that greatly reduces what we pay to government while greatly increasing the amount government has so it can pay down the deficit. Only by trying to have it both ways, can we have it both ways!”

On the up side for Romney were the many zingers he launched at Obama:

MITT ROMNEY: “Mr. Obama, I know you are but may I ask with all due respect, what am I?”

MITT ROMNEY: “Your mama, Obama. Heh-heh!”

MITT ROMNEY: “Ken-ya show us your birth certificate?”

MITT ROMNEY: “The difference between you and me is that I’m white and want to put government spending in the black while you’re…a socialist.”

As for President Obama, he made a valiant effort to remain calm, composed and not condescending but when he slapped his forehead in disbelief at Romney’s explanation of how killing “Obamacare” and kicking 30 million people off of health care actually will insure more people, it was a major gaffe.

Also, after being pounded by Mitt Romney with accusations that he supports the Muslim Brotherhood, is personally responsible for the national obesity rate and created an environment where Honey Boo Boo could get such great ratings…even on the night of his RNC speech, Obama responded in a way that may have turned off independent voters.

PRESIDENT OBAMA: “The American people expect us to work for them and solve the problems that are too big for them to solve on their own. They want a President who is honest about the difficulties we face and can come up with and share with them detailed solutions. All of this naturally brings up the question…how the hell can anyone vote for this weasel?”

There were positive moments for Obama about all that he has accomplished in his first term but since we’d like to see a closer race, we’re going to kind of ignore that.

So, one debate down and one win for Romney. This is especially good news for a Romney campaign that has been hammered by events over the last month and even more meaningful because he hasn’t even had this debate yet.

Stay tuned, we may be providing analysis of the ups and downs of President Obama’s second term next week.

39
Leave a Comment

Please Login to comment
11 Comment threads
28 Thread replies
0 Followers
 
Most reacted comment
Hottest comment thread
11 Comment authors
kesmarnfoodchainKalimachoiceladyNirek Recent comment authors
  Subscribe  
newest oldest most voted
Notify of
kesmarn
Admin

[img]http://sphotos-b.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-snc6/261936_10150922265662465_1822326239_n.jpg[/img]

AdLib, I loved this! “…don’t let the pedicure fool you” totally cracked me up.

SueInCa
Member

I heard that Romney is going to give away some Zingers tonite. Will they be the chocolate or vanilla ones or is he going all out with the Raspberry Coconut ones? Will he also serve milk? I heard that after you eat Zingers you need milk to counteract the sweetness of the cupcake. I prefer the raspberry coconut zingers and only Hostess will do.

kesmarn
Admin

Here ya go, BFF!

[img]http://sphotos-a.xx.fbcdn.net/hphotos-prn1/528489_355469871209148_1887249105_n.jpg[/img]

choicelady
Member

If you want Hostess – does that mean ANN has to serve them? I didn’t know she knew how…

agrippa
Member
agrippa

I think that the number of ‘undecideds’ is very low. I think that the real issue is turnout – who is actually going to vote.

If I were ever to be called – and I have called ID – to answer those sorts of questions, I would refuse to answer. Owing to the fact that I have caller ID, I would duck the call.
A large number of these ‘undecideds’ may be people who won’t say who they will vote for.

foodchain
Member
foodchain

Agrippa, agreed. Private ballot means just that to some people and they are not giving out that information. Let’s just hope that they are not the fearful conservatives!

Nirek
Member

Agrippa, I agree with you. The undecided are probably not even going to exercise their votes.

I have only got a land line and have NOT been polled. I am not sure how I would answer if I were. Sense they would probably not count me I think I would say none of your business who I vote for.

I promise that I will NOT vote Romney.

agrippa
Member
agrippa

I would not take the call. If I did, I would not tell them. And I would tell them to mark it down: Refused to answer.

SueInCa
Member

I would just lie to them to skew the results.

choicelady
Member

Oh goodie – now I don’t have to watch! Whew!

Nirek
Member

Adlib, you nailed Romney in my opinion.

KillgoreTrout
Member

I think those who are still undecided are those that are the most incurious and cognitively lazy. If they haven’t seen by now who is who, chances are that they are even too lazy to vote.

Having such a long (and nearly unendurable)election season has pretty much revealed to us just who is who. It has shown us who these two men really are. The ones that don’t know this by now must be a small percentage of Americans. Americans that are most likely not interested much at all. Some of them will get off the couch and vote, but I think many of them will just stay home because they are just too lazy and too unconcerned.

I look forward to tomorrow night, not because I haven’t made up my mind, but because I really want to watch Mittens squirm. My worry is that not enough hard questions will be asked and questions of character will be verbotten.

SueInCa
Member

Kt did you see the PSA done by SNL on undecideds? It pretty much went the way you describe.

https://youtu.be/yQOwFquNLKo

KillgoreTrout
Member

HAHA! That’s about the size of it.

SueInCa
Member

trying to sound all “deep” and sounding like the milquetoasts they are. I thought it was funny too.

Nirek
Member

KT, I share your concern about the softball questions that may go to Mitty. I don’t worry about Obama he speaks very well. He’ll do fine while Romney will stumble. IMO

SueInCa
Member

Great piece Adlib. As you know I have been staying out of the media frenzy for awhile now. It cracks me up about the media claiming that Romney is a great debater. Did they sleep through the primary debates? To me he sounded unsure of himself, like he was trying too hard and basically never answered a question with a thoughtful, orderly response. I mean who the hell as president is going to ask his lawyers if he should send our troops in? He actually said that and everyone just moved along.

That is why the media will have no bearing on how I see the debate outcome. I remember the first one in 08. Almost before it was over my husband was telling me Obama lost. I told him Obama won on the sheer idea that he pissed McCain off by being cool and calm and McCain showed it. I think he will do the same to Romney especially if he keeps going back to those pesky facts that Romney is not going to let him rule his campaign.

mairs
Member
mairs

“I like sport and fried poultry..” 🙂

I remember the absolute terror on Bush’s visage when he faced John Kerry during their debates, and he still “won” as I recall. President Obama always has to be at his best, but I think that if Romney can squeak out a little presidentialness he’ll probably get a pass too, while afterwards the pundits justify in their minds why they’re even debating a point of his that is an outright lie.

KQµårk 死神
Member

Brilliant piece AdLib. I think you hit all the pundit talking points including all the talking points that are diametrically opposed to one another. All I can say for sure is that the debate will never live up to all the hype.

My only addition would be Mitt Romney saying Obama’s embrace of the Muslim Brotherhood in Egypt shows Obama is starting a ‘War on Pork Farmers’. Like usual there’s always a hitch with what Romney says since he will forget many Jewish folk don’t eat pork either.

BTW “Mobius Loop of Punditry” is the best line in the blog sphere yet written.

On a serious note like all things Romney he made another huge flip flop today. Now he supports Obama’s XO on immigration kinda.

agrippa
Member
agrippa

lol.

Debates do not really change the minds of anyone.
Of the mass of people who plan to vote, the great majority have decided long ago.
The media is a great comedy.