In case you didn’t hear, Pres. Obama is replacing Joe Biden as his VP in his 2012 run with Shia LaBeouf. He’s also going to cut Medicare by requiring Seniors to go to veterinarians and he’s now going to agree to Social Security cuts that will change the retirement age to the letter “Z”.
“Proof? We don’t need no stinkin’ proof, we’re running a news business here!”
It’s no breaking story that what passes for today’s press is about as fact-based as The Chronicles of Narnia or Mitt Romney’s stump speech. What has become shamelessly apparent though is the manufacturing of “news” that is intended to titillate the public, piss them off and turn their anger at anyone other than them and other corporations who are the actual ones behind the ongoing destruction of our democracy, society and our standard of living.
“Gather ’round kids, Grampa’s gonna tell you a story about the way it used to be a long, long time ago. Back before your fancy internets and Faceybooks, there used to be somethin’ you could buy called a “newspaper” and on them newfangled “boob tubes”, they used to have people that would tell you what happened that day in your country or even the world! It was a simpler time back then, we bought tiny leashes for our pet rocks, danced to the rebellious music of The Village People and there was free love…but you still had to pay for dinners once in a while.
Yep it was a wondrous time but we were too busy polishing our mood rings to see that. You see, in our day them newspapers and news shows on the three networks had a thing that’s as obsolete today as wine coolers…they called them “journalistic standards”. Now I know ya haven’t heard that term in your young life so let Grampa explain it all to ya. See, back in those days, the folks who would tell you what was happening in the world would have to make sure what they were saying was really the way things were. I know it sounds silly but they would have to check with different people to see if they told the same story and then, before they could put it in the paper or go on tv and tell everyone that story, they’d have a boss who’d have to agree that they felt sure enough it was the dad-gum truth.
Today them newspapers and tv shows are run by big ol’ corporations that got only one job, makin’ money by gettin’ people to see the ads in their papers and the commercials on their tv shows. The folks in charge either get them a story or make one up that’s gonna make people angry enough or scared enough to keep on readin and watchin’ the next day and the next day.
Here’s how it works, kinda like the game “Telephone”. Each of them tries to think up a story that has a little truth to it but’s gonna upset or surprise people so much, they’ll want to read or watch it. Then they whisper it in another one o’ them’s ear, like, “President Obama wants to make it legal to eat puppies.” Then the next guy then says, “Some are saying that President Obama wants to make it legal to eat puppies.” Then Bob’s your uncle and you’re off to the races!
See, in them old days when “hair care” was more “hair don’t care”, the reason for puttin’ on a news show was to let people know what was goin’ on. Yep, it sure was a bit naive. Today the reason for puttin’ on the news is to make money and to get folks to think what they want them to think…so they can make even more money.
And the way to do all o’ that is like eatin’ an Oreo. You twist off the ethical and responsible top of the news and then folks can just get right to the sugary frosting that gives them the biggest rush. And by the way, in our day Rush was also the name of a musical band, ain’t that somethin’?
Yep, it seems nowadays that not only do those news folks shovel ya rumors and slantin’ opinions like we used to shovel cocaine up our noses (did Grampa ever show you the tiny spoon he used to wear on his silver necklace? I’ll give it to you but don’t tell your mom!), they say it all like it was the plain truth and always seem to be about makin’ people mad and turning some people against others. Why, I hear it’s gotten so bad that in England, they listen in on your phone calls and messages just to make a buck! In my day, you had to dial a 900 number to listen to someone else’s calls and you had to dress up because they’d always ask you what you were wearing.
I guess you’re tired of hearin’ Grampa’s stories about the old days. Ya probably don’t want to hear about the orgies Grampa used to go to with all them news folks. That’s one thing that ain’t changed since then, they’re still screwin’ everyone they can.”