Question: how many armless bears can the National Forest Service support, and can someone pass the BBQ sauce?
If political parties are to interpret The Constitution in the light of what they believe to be ‘Original Intent’ then could we not advance the following:
MIGHT America be in danger due to the second amendment and it’s consequences? As most people know, the second amendment grants Americans the right to bear arms. The foreseeable problem is this:
Should bears become extinct in that pursuit of our liberties, would this not require another constitutional amendment in order that future generations are guaranteed the same right that the founding fathers intended?
Which brings to question: do we fit limbless bears with prosthetic arms?! As the patriot, Stephen Colbert would say, “That’s just F**king Crazy!” Bears from Cyber-dine systems?
Artificial insemination of the bear population would be out of the question, as those holding to strict religious views would claim that anything artificial is NOT natural by the very use of the word ‘artificial.’
As Christine O’Donnell and others like her believe that masturbation is a sin, another question question comes to mind: In order to maintain a bear population for all generations, Do we allow Cybernetic Bears to marry?
…and too if bears are Cybernetic, and since we have taken away their arms, do we make it up to them by allowing their Scientologists beliefs to tear down the wall between church and state with their cybernetic arms?!
After a more thorough investigation and more background checking I must retract my statement regarding Scientoligists. Scientologists believe in Dianetics. Whereas Cybernetics is more in the realm of… artificial control systems. Hmmm… Much like Dianetics. After some further thought, I’d like to recall my prior retraction regarding Scientoligists and at this point scream in panic:
…Oh My Gawd!!!
I can see it all so clearly now: Angry bears of conflicting faiths are trying to take over America because our fore-fathers gave us all the right to their arms!!!
Damn that Constitutional Convention!
…Sam Adams must have brought too much beer.