Unless you’ve been living on another planet recently, you’re surely aware of the phenomenon that is Kim Kardashian‘s butt! We caught up with it outside Grauman’s Chinese Theater, just after making a fresh imprint on Hollywood Boulevard, and it agreed to sit down with us and tell us what it’s like to be one of today’s hottest stars.
wts: It’s so great to finally get to meet you, face to…..it’s so great to finally get to meet you!
kkb: The pleasure is all yours!
wts: Indeed! You’ve become so BIG recently!
– Yes, isn’t it great? I owe it all to my fans!
– what I mean is, you’ve become, uh, really big!
– yeah…? What are you trying to say?
– well, what I mean is, is there such a thing as becoming too big?
– Gosh, I guess I never thought about it that way! I’d have to say no. I like to think I’ll just keep getting bigger and bigger!
– I imagine you will! I notice you’ve come all by yourself to this interview. May I ask, where’s the rest of you?
– you mean “ROK“? That’s what I call her, it stands for “rest of Kim”. She’s been a little difficult, lately. It’s become clear that I’m what everyone wants to see, and frankly, she’s pretty jealous. She doesn’t like standing in my shadow!
– I see. So is it kind of like Michael Jackson? You know, how he got so much bigger than his brothers?
– Yeah, maybe. I never thought about it. But I loooove Michael! I practice all his moves. You should see me moonwalk!
– I certainly should! Tell me, as one of the world’s most popular celebrity body parts, how do you feel about your chief rivals? For instance, what do you think of Katy Perry‘s boobs?
– Oh, please! Don’t get me started on those! Talk about trying too hard! Always so flashy, anything for attention. I like to think I’m above all that.
– A butt above boobs, huh? That’s an interesting perspective.
– Well, on second thought, maybe that’s not the best way to put it. We’re just in different places.
– You mean in your careers?
– No, just different places. I’ll leave it at that.
– Gotcha. Look, I know this might be a sore subject for you, but…
– You’re going to ask me about the sex tape, aren’t you? I knew it!
– Just a few words….
– Look, I’m really trying to put that behind me. All that overexposure! It really left me badly burned!
– I understand. You were the butt of a lot of jokes for a while.
– Hey, watch it!
– So what would you like to talk about? Any interesting new projects in the works?
– Are you kidding? These days I’ve been working my….working my…..uh, I don’t know how to finish this sentence.
– You mean you’ve been really busy, right?
– Exactly! Ever since the Huffington Post set up a whole feature page about me, I’m in more demand than ever! People want to know who applies my dresses, what beaches I’ve been plopping down on, you name it! So I’m working on my newest reality show, “The Ins and Outs of Kim’s Butt”. And I’m starring in a superhero movie that comes out next year!
– Wow, you are busy! Tell me more about the film!
– I’m not supposed to say much, but I will tell you that I’m a super-powered heroine from the moon! I have to stop asteroids from smacking against the earth. I don’t know where they get these crazy ideas, tee hee!
– It sounds like it was made for you!
– You think so? It’s going to be a lot of fun! But you have to see it on the big screen! And in 3-D!
– Well, you certainly lead a full life, KK’s Butt! Thanks so much for your time. Any last words for your fans?
– Just keep watchin’, folks!
– Don’t worry; we will!
Butts are the new boobs. Next up…. LABIA!
Pierced or plain?
😆
Only a woman would write that. Butts have always been the be all and end all. Boobs’ popularity only came as a result of advertising. It’s easier to show a model’s boobs and face at the same time. Put a butt in an ad and it was considered way too obvious, in the past.
Even the attraction of boobs was to replicate that of butts biologically, I believe. (or do I have that assbackwards?)
So it’s true. Booty IS in the eye of the beholder!
Maybe they’ll hybridize us women at some point, giving us boobties and flat heads upon which a guy can rest his beer and remote.
Or his feet and hairy legs. Boobs are overrated, they get in the way of door knobs or hinder when trying to squeeze into narrow spaces. Tailored jackets fit so much better without them. What do men know?
I’d rather be freeze dried, and only come back when all the housework is done, or just on special occasions.
Gute Nacht OG Q.
Ok, after a sleepless night, thinking I had left this post “behind ” me, I just have to try to settle this once and for all.
While peeking at the Before and After video that Q had left for all to see, I noticed something very odd in the picture of this woman in the light blue sateen dress. Can you see it too?
If you still have enough energy left, you can clearly see the outline of either “Bum pads” or very badly distributed implants. I dare you to take another look. 😆
That’s all folks, I’m putting this humongous mountain range out of my mind and into my “rear” mirror. It has worn me out, and now I’m totally “bummed” out.
At the hospital, we have these things called “waffle mattresses.” They’re (intentionally) lumpy to allow air to circulate under the patient. They inflate with an air pump.
Need we say more?
I’m guessing waffle butt.
😆 kes, you are a brave girl. I thought I was commenting to the wind, but that photo really bothered me. I must be going bananas to be talking about someone else’s butt enlargement. I think I need a holiday. 🙂
Oh, and yes, you could be right. I think that I mentioned being behind stage at many fashion shows, and seeing the models putting on the padded contraptions before putting on their outfits. I thought that I was hallucinating. The last time I padded anything was when I was 10 years old, well actually, I put two oranges down my vest, but they kept falling to my waist. 🙂
Just my own personal opinion, Kalima, but — while they say it’s impossible to be too thin or too rich — I think it is possible to have too much derriere, and Kim has reached that point!
But then, I’m not a guy…What do I know?? 😳
There is the “derriere” and then there is this, which if it appeals to guys, must be a form of fetish, because it certainly is not manna for the eyes of any normal person.
I’ll ask my hubby later, but already hear his answer in my ears. “If I can’t hold it with both hands, I don’t want it.” 🙂
Not Kalima, Butt speaking as a male I find those pictures of her freakish, a sideshow, and repulsive. How big is “it” going to be after a couple of kids and reaching the big 40.
Boy meets girl and they both start taking off their padding and cosmetics, how much of the “love at first site” will there be then? May look good at “last call” but what then?
Perhaps I’m just too old. 🙂
You’ve got the right idea bito, and no guy is ever too old to look or appreciate, who told you that, it’s a “bare-assed” lie. 🙂
As my hubby always says, “Simple is best, and real is even better.”
Oh, and as I wrote here somewhere, by the time she reaches 50, she will have to hire an engineer to build her a shelf to park it on or hold it up.
At age 11, shouldn’t they be roller skating, climbing trees, giggling with their best friends, jumping rope, and watching clouds? They have all the rest of their lives to shake their Kardashians!
The cheer squad coach needs to take a chill pill and live vicariously through some other group…like the faculty bowling team?
Kimmer’s and the trunk have made the BIG TIME !! 😆 😆 😆
like KKB says, “bigger and bigger!”
Made you look — 😆 😆 — I thought she was already at the bottom (no pun intended) of the food chain; obviously not.
I tried to find a bootylicious man but this is all I could come up with:
http://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-321639.0.html
DOES NOT do it for me! 🙁
I am at a loss for words, well not really, but I have my image to protect. 🙂 😯
Soon I’m calling it a night, and will surely have nightmares about being suffocated by gigantic buttocks. Oyasumi nasai OG|_ Q.
A Kimbutt on a guy! Wow, and yuck!
Kardashian’s Kartrashian is in her Kardassian.
Trans: Kim’s got junk in the trunk.
I didn’t know you speak Armenian!
Oh Questinia,
Too much laughing at this time of night!
I am still laughing at
Skinny Crack Hoe
WTS,
Now don’t be surprised if other celebrity ‘parts’ show up at your door and want interviews.
You could get very busy.
Patsy, don’t give Brett Favre any ideas, now! 😉
oh no, not that!
hmmm…I’m intrigued! There’s Fergie’s “humps”, Katy’s bazoombas, let’s not forget Kylie, now….
My future is looking up! Or down!
You can not be specific on the gender….. sorry
in that case, I’m officially retired!
Awww, just when it was getting fun…. 😉
😉
Beware if Tommy Lee’s ‘better half’ pays you a visit.
Or what about The Situation?
You are scaring me, dude!
Tiger Woods *ic* ?
Thats been in the news
For Khirad:
Good Lord, nobody looks like that! Can you imagine these lumps at 50 pr 60, she will have to ask an engineer to build a shelf for them..
Those are either some “nasty” implants, or Japanese invented ” padded” magic underpants.
Can’t believe this is a dot org
http://bootypop.org/
I’ve just had the most humongous giggle fest, had to pick myself up from the floor.
What on earth is a “Brazilian Butt Lift?”
Is it some hunky Brazilian guy holding you up in the air sitting on his palms, you know, like a weightlifter?
Is nothing sacred anymore? I know she’s short, but(t)…
Nice touch with Beyonc
“I don
I have this PBS documentary on in the background. The one about how the great cathedrals of Europe were built.
I can’t tell you how many times the term “flying buttress” has been used. Images of a combined Witchy-O’Donnell/Kardashian-on-a-broomstick occur.
If you have nightmares, I take no responsibility!
Very funny WTS!
Maybe HP can consolidate a number of their categories under one new category, “Big Asses”.
Along with Kardashian, this category could encompass articles by T. Boone Pickens, Jane Hamsher, Arianna and many other appropriate HP contributors.
yeah, and the guy who wants to be governor of New York. An ass for the ages!
OK, maybe I’m clueless, but what exactly has Kim Kardashian ever accomplished….?
I actually have a mother who gave me shit recently for not watching enough television.
Pepe, she jiggles while she juggles the five million plus she earns each year. She is a “style” icon. She is her own brand and lends it to merchandise a la Paris Hilton.
Furthermore, have you ANY idea what it takes to spackle on that much makeup and not have it go asunder under stress and lighting? That, in itself, is an accomplishment! 🙂
Just like in the days of the bustle, the height of hair in Antoinette’s day and Long Island in the 1980’s, extremes in female pulchritude seem to have found a Hall Of Famer in Kim. Hollywood seems to be ground zero for T&A on steroids.
AAAH! I have her butt branded into my mind’s eye. Must…neutralize…with…images….of…Steven…Tyler…
Pulchritude, like bucolic, always sounded to me nothing like their meanings. Like, something you contract and have to get antibiotics for. I wish I could remember this Italian song with it in the title, though. 😡
I’ll say this. Even though she be vacuous and fake personality-wise, with tons of botox, I imagine, she’s not “enhanced” in her curves as far as I know.
Here’s me looking for the silver lining.
Not enhanced? ……. bwahahahahahahahahahaha {{{{{gasp}}}}} bwahahahahahahahahaha!
Khirad, you’re adorable!
(I’ve NEVER done a bwahaha before, I’ll have you know. It’s so undignified, but considering this thread…)
So who can answer the following…
1) Kim Kardashian’s father — who is he and what is his biggest claim to fame?
2) Mom & Pop Kardashian are divorced — never mind him — who is she married to now?
3) Anyone think this kind of notoriety (real or perceived) is contributing to the dumbed-down mentality in this society?
The winner gets the pony I won a month or so ago!
1) Kardashian was a defense attorney for OJ
2) Bruce Jenner of “is he transitioning into a woman?” fame
3) Yes.
Gimme my pony!
Bruce does look a little girlie doesn’t he? He is also another plastic surgery gone waaaay wrong.
Ding, ding, ding you win the pony Q!! However, you’ll need to talk to Patsy about the feed and Kalima about the rhinestone encrusted saddle. I’m sure the feed won’t be a problem, but I must warn you the damn saddle causes extreme chafing. 😉
😆 Remind me to send you some “Vaseline Intensive Rescue” and boxer shorts.
Depends upon where you encrust the diamonds, Boomer. Diamonds can be a girl’s best friend, even on a saddle. All depends on the cut, if you know what I mean!
Who can answer what ethnicity her father was?
(no looking up)
Clue, nearly everyone from this country has a surname ending in -ian.
Armenian!!!
Correct!
http://en.wiktionary.org/wiki/-%D5%B5%D5%A1%D5%B6#Usage_notes
I promise I didn’t Google, K!
(It was a college prof of mine who tipped us off on that one. Also, he mentioned that last names that start with the “Hr” combination are usually Slovakian. I think that’s probably true.)
Well known Armenians …. Jerry Tarkanian, Eric Bogosian, William Saroyan, Cher, David Seville (Ross Bagdasarian).
Seville used to hang out in my dad’s bar, along with Sam Peckinpah.
Ara Parseghian…
I knew the answer to that Khirad because I grew up in Fresno.
My dad owned a bar/restaurant that was a hangout for the Fresno “Armenian Mafia.”
Old Fresno joke. “What does ‘Fresno’ mean?”
“It means ‘blast furnace’ in Armenian.”
I suppose one could say that the gullible folks who eat this kind of thing up, have been subjected to a “bum’s rush” in the common sense department.
I think you might have come in at the tail’s end of the discussion, K, so you may be a bit behind.
C’est la vie, c’est la guerre, c’est la derri
I’m always late for the party, but I left early today.
i’m fine. Yes to “la Guerre” I suppose it is “war” on stupidity, and my “bum” is nowhere near as huge as her’s is. 🙂
She doesn’t have a bum. She has a homeless shelter.
😆 Maybe it”s a great place to park your bicycle in the Rush Hour.
Oh, that is good!
I suspect that this is hilarious, WTS, but I feel like a T-bagger on a roundtable discussing the constitution. WTF? 😆 I need to get out more, I guess.
Consider yourself one of the lucky ones, bito! It’s more of an in-joke. At HP, they dedicate so much space to this particular piece of, well, real estate that it goes beyond shameless.
So, just another commentary from yours truly about the weird state of our world, and celebrity.
I like to look at things from all angles! 🙂