tvbask

I have had the misfortune to have caught what appears to be the Swine Flu. Not only do I appear to have all the symptoms but my lungs seem to be filled with bacon fat.

This has resulted in my being stranded on the couch for days watching far too much television (not counting the surreal and nauseating hallucination I had of Tom DeLay being on “Dancing with the Stars”).

But it is the commercials which I find to be the most enlightening. Here’s what commercials have taught me this week:

1. Though we’re in a recession, you may be out of work and your house may be in foreclosure, the one place you don’t want to cut back in these difficult times is on buying OreIda frozen French fries.

2. The sentiment of Cat Stevens’, “If You Want to Sing Out, Sing Out” is not a celebration of freedom, feeling positive about life and individualism. It is about the personal happiness and the satisfaction of self expression that you will have if you buy a new T-Mobile cellphone.

3.   Walt Whitman’s  “Pioneers! O Pioneers!” is actually a tribute to the glory and dynamic promise of wearing Levi Jeans.

4. On an island of flightless birds, a bird that dares to risk all to leap off a cliff and take flight in pursuit of personal freedom is the equivalent of deciding to buy an extra thin LG flatscreen TV.

And to think I was starting to feel better.

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KevenSeven
Member

Uuuuuuuuuuuummmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Bacon.

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Jenuwin
Admin

Adlib, Just watch the commercials a little bit longer and you will find a drug that will cure your ailments! Maybe Lexitor???
Feel better soon!

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VegasBabe
Member

Get Well Soon Adlib! Oh dear, swine flu…I was soooooo hoping it was a media gimmick or something. Hey….I can hope if I want to! Now how does that go again? Feed the cold, starve the fever…or is it vice versa. Nevermind, just keep your butt on the sofa, drink lots of hot tea and OJ if you can, EAT for crimenys sake and sleep. pssssttt….I’m thinkin’…you might want to drop the remote control N O W ! 🙂

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KQµårk 死神
Member

Kalima and Q I think we may need to flag Adlib and stick this in speakers corner. 😉

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Kalima
Admin

Will somebody please be kind enough to get me out of here, I’m getting this sinking feeling.

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KQµårk 死神
Member

I see Adlib helped you out which is a good thing. I’ve been trying how to get your comment posted for over half an hour with no luck. I really need to brush up on some of these admin features. I hope you are doing better than Adlib is doing these days.

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Kalima
Admin

Yes AdLib managed to get up off his sofa and rescue me. Thank you for trying though.

I’ve forgotten the ins and outs too. 🙂

I’m doing ok, should be even better as soon as this 82% humidity is over. Cheers!

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KQµårk 死神
Member

I hope you are feeling better Adlib.

About the only commercials I see are football commercials since we’ve had TiVo. What kills me is when you see a “progressive” show on MSNBC talking about greedy Senators taking money from entities like drug company lobbyists when they have drug company commercials supporting their shows. I don’t know how people don’t see the hypocrisy there at all.

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Kalima
Admin

Ello, ello! I seem to be stuck in moderation limbo after editing. Anybody there??

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Kalima
Admin

Good Lord, am I invisible today, did I take too many “hardly there” pills?

HELP!!

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KQµårk 死神
Member

Are you still in the rabbit hole?

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Kalima
Admin

Yes!!

Please get a torch and help me out of here.

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Kalima
Admin

Oops! I edited my comment, pressed save and it’s gone to moderation again.

Stay on the sofa, stay where you are please, I can wait. 🙂

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Kalima
Admin

Oh nooes, you poor thing, first for contracting the “Piggy flu” and secondly for not having the strength to either move away from or even push the remote off switch on your TeeVee. My heart goes out to you, get well soon and back away from your TV set.

Every day I hide my remote in a different place, this morning I asked my hubby to join in the fun and I have no idea where it is. I’m eternally grateful but quite sure that our cable is nowhere near as bad as yours. All we see is short ads for things that I know I would never use even if I bought them. I used to suffer from “stress” buying, meaning if I was stressed I would buy something quite useless and feel better until I opened the box.

I thought that I was cured until I saw a can opener I thought would change my life. It arrived with skimpy instructions and so far no one I have asked could understand how to use the darned thing. It was made in China.

So the only thing left was to hide the remote, knowing that in the next hour or so, I would forget where I had put it for the rest of the day.

Get well soon friend! 🙂

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Questinia
Member

I’d have to say it is remarkable how boring these ads are Adlib.

I spoke to an ex ad exec from Madison Ave. just today who said the days of Madmen were over a while ago. Back then you had to have a strong opinion on how to market. The companies marketing the product were more or less told how their product was going to be sold. These days, like Hollywood film, everything needs to be as safe as milk.

The blandness is what numbed you, not the alpha wave rinse you were getting from the TV itself, although that could be considered the chaser.

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Questinia
Member

Just to put you over the edge. I’d like to take you into the world of Pringles.

Pringles are from Procter and Gamble. Pringles earn 1 billion a year. They were named after Pringle Drive in Finneytown, Ohio. They introduce new varieties which are occasionally limited run items.

My favorite is the Pringles Light Aroma variety. I can’t go on with this story because this is the second time I’ve written it today and after I write Pringles Light Aroma, I put myself over the edge.

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Questinia
Member

Pringles are 42% potato.

I’m in love with the Pringles man.
He loves me like nobody else’s can.
He showers me in potato infusions
and Pringles Light Aroma love illusions
He’ll take me down to Pringle Drive
Where Finneytown’s Ohio jive
Makes me pop that tube he’s got
And once I pop I cannot stop

Oh yes I Love
the Pringles man.

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KQµårk 死神
Member

Yup and remember the story behind P&G and the devil worship?

I mean you can see all the “666’s” in their logo, right?

Also Pringles gets got it two ways it does not have to pay extra potato taxes because it’s not a majority potato food and it can advertise it’s wonderful potato taste.

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Questinia
Member

That is devilish KQ!

Pringles is a tawdry, sleazy, underhanded, good-for-nothing, love ’em and leave’em, back-door kitchen tater man.

Lawd I love Pringles!

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