News & Politics

Confronted by reporters that this didn't make any sense in the rest of his Putin-supporting/America bashing statement, Trump replied, "It's not surprising that people in the fake news have so much hate in them, even for pudding. Pudding doesn't make sense? It's not supposed to make sense, it's just supposed to taste good and that's why I be loving pudding,"

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Trump successfully leveraged the racial resentment of President Obama and the social progress under him to build a rabid Coalition of The Spiteful that have come to revere Trump like he was Jesus. Actually, more than Jesus. They follow his commandments over the teachings of Jesus.

In an ironic mistake by someone who has also been personally described "an ironic mistake", Donald Trump used the wrong word in a tweet intended to express that he was all-knowing.

Share your favorite songs about the most wonderful feeling that human beings can feel for others (and is in too short supply today). Love!

Coming on the heels of Rudy Giuiani's disastrous media tour over the past several days, his lips have filed a case in New York...

"Mass shootings are bad, they're really, really bad and we need to do something to stop them that makes more sense than taking away the guns that mass killers always use," Trump explained.

Relying on tv for his decision-making on personnel has gone so well, Trump will now use it to select military leaders. Trump stated, "I need a new general and I've watched this Gomer Pyle guy all of my life, I like the cut of his jib!"

When Trump campaigned on "bringing back" law and order, he meant authorities should have more power to dominate and abuse minorities. He didn't intend for them to be more empowered to pursue crimes that rich, white men commit.

Customs officials have discounted witness claims that he was walking on the surface of the river as he crossed it. "The Rio is very low at the point this person crossed, it may have appeared he was walking on water but it was just an optical illusion," explained ICE spokesperson, Leticia Zamarripa.