With pressure mounting on Republican House Intelligence Committee leader Devin Nunes to recuse himself as it is revealed that two White House staffers fed him the alleged intelligence about Trump and his campaign being caught up in incidental collection of communications, Nunes has experienced a psychological break and has begun acting like the popular lapdog, a cockapoo.
It began as reporters followed him into the Oval Office for a photo op with Donald Trump to proclaim Nunes’ independence as Intelligence Committee Chairman when at the sight of Mr. Trump sitting behind his desk, Nunes suddenly shuddered, his eyes widened, he ran at full speed at Mr. Trump then jumped into his lap.
Nunes began licking an uncomfortable Mr. Trump’s face then nudged Mr. Trump’s hand to scratch him. Nunes then looked back to the press with a satisfied smile as he cuddled in Mr. Trump’s lap and panted with his tongue hanging out.
Trying to appear unfazed, Trump continued with the agenda, exhorting to the press that Nunes was leading the House Intelligence Committee fairly and is not influenced in any way to show favoritism towards Trump or coverup any facts. He also mentioned that Nunes knows lots of tricks. He then held up a dog biscuit, Nunes’ eyes locked on it intensely, he put it on Nunes’ nose and at the command, “Okay!” from Trump, Nunes flipped the biscuit in the air then caught it in his mouth and ate it.
When asked by the press about his odd, lapdog type behavior, Nunes was at a loss for words, he merely yawned, curling his tongue as he did so then scratched behind his right ear with his shoe.
Trump declared that he had complete confidence in Nunes’ integrity and that the they were about to go for a walkie so Nunes could “take care of his business”. Trump opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a leash. Nunes became over-excited, jumped off of Trump’s lap, ran in a circle then jumped up on Trump’s leg.
Before leaving with Nunes, Trump looked to him and said, “I just want to say about Representative Nunes…who’s a good boy? You are! You are!” then escorted him out to the White House lawn where Nunes rolled around and wiggled on his back to scratch himself.
Trump offered the press two thumbs up before turning and chasing Nunes who leaped into the fountain on the South Lawn and began biting at the stream of water.
In light of this behavior, aides in Nunes’ office denied that he had suffered a psychological episode and insisted that they saw no difference from who he has been, noting, “Representative Nunes has always been loyal, well groomed and obedient. And he’s always supported sniffing butts and being neutered, there’s nothing new here.”
An investigation has been launched however into Nunes’ recent use of hundreds of thousands of dollars of Senate funds for what he describes on his reimbursement report as necessary government expenses for “chewies”.