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AdLib On March - 30 - 2017

Nunes Cockapoo

With pressure mounting on Republican House Intelligence Committee leader Devin Nunes to recuse himself as it is revealed that two White House staffers fed him the alleged intelligence about Trump and his campaign being caught up in incidental collection of communications, Nunes has experienced a psychological break and has begun acting like the popular lapdog, a cockapoo.

It began as reporters followed him into the Oval Office for a photo op with Donald Trump to proclaim Nunes’ independence as Intelligence Committee Chairman when at the sight of Mr. Trump sitting behind his desk, Nunes suddenly shuddered, his eyes widened, he ran at full speed at Mr. Trump then jumped into his lap.

Nunes began licking an uncomfortable Mr. Trump’s face then nudged Mr. Trump’s hand to scratch him. Nunes then looked back to the press with a satisfied smile as he cuddled in Mr. Trump’s lap and panted with his tongue hanging out.

Trying to appear unfazed, Trump continued with the agenda, exhorting to the press that Nunes was leading the House Intelligence Committee fairly and is not influenced in any way to show favoritism towards Trump or coverup any facts. He also mentioned that Nunes knows lots of tricks. He then held up a dog biscuit, Nunes’ eyes locked on it intensely, he put it on Nunes’ nose and at the command, “Okay!” from Trump, Nunes flipped the biscuit in the air then caught it in his mouth and ate it.

When asked by the press about his odd, lapdog type behavior, Nunes was at a loss for words, he merely yawned, curling his tongue as he did so then scratched behind his right ear with his shoe.

Trump declared that he had complete confidence in Nunes’ integrity and that the they were about to go for a walkie so Nunes could “take care of his business”. Trump opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a leash. Nunes became over-excited, jumped off of Trump’s lap, ran in a circle then jumped up on Trump’s leg.

Before leaving with Nunes, Trump looked to him and said, “I just want to say about Representative Nunes…who’s a good boy? You are! You are!” then escorted him out to the White House lawn where Nunes rolled around and wiggled on his back to scratch himself.

Trump offered the press two thumbs up before turning and chasing Nunes who leaped into the fountain on the South Lawn and began biting at the stream of water.

In light of this behavior, aides in Nunes’ office denied that he had suffered a psychological episode and insisted that they saw no difference from who he has been, noting, “Representative Nunes has always been loyal, well groomed and obedient. And he’s always supported sniffing butts and being neutered, there’s nothing new here.”

An investigation has been launched however into Nunes’ recent use of hundreds of thousands of dollars of Senate funds for what he describes on his reimbursement report as necessary government expenses for “chewies”.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

14 Responses so far.

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  1. gyp46 says:

    My Corgi takes offense of your depiction of cockapoos being as dumb as Nunes.

    • AdLib says:

      gyp46, I now recognize that it is an insult to dogs everywhere to have any of them associated with the head of the House Intelligence Committee.

      I did get a ruff letter from the Canines Upholding Respect Society (CURS) over representing Nunes as having the qualities of a dog. They said they’ve never felt so insulted and threatened to hold protests outside of my house with their legs raised in unity.

      To the dogs of America, I will never again insult you by comparing your to a Republican politician. Now, let’s shake!

  2. Nirek says:

    Another wonderful take on the trum(pets).

    The White House leaked the info to Nunes that they want out there, fake intel to muddy the waters that are already thick. When trump lies, too many people believe it and too many repeat the lies,

    Great piece, AdLib!

    • AdLib says:

      Thanks so much, Nirek!

      Nunes, like any cockapoo, lives to please his master. Trump said “Come!” he galloped over to the WH and when he told him to “Play dead!” as the leader of the House Intel Committee, he’s now rolled over and played dead.

      Nunes is going to be in the dog house for the rest of his shortened career.

  3. Kalima says:

    Loved it muchly, AdLib. 😆

    I heard that they had played “Fetch” for hours with a small rolled up book, and later Nunes buried the copy of the shredded “Constitution” in a patch of the Rose Garden next to his republican approved, but very tiny, little bone-r. What a Cock-in-a-poo indeed. Woof Woof!!

    • AdLib says:

      Cheers Kalima!

      I’ll need to add that to my report on Nunes! That was Trump’s favorite chew toy for Nunes too, The Constitution. Dogs can’t help their instincts though to tear papers up and bury them!

      And BTW, that meek look on Nunes’ face comes from Trump neutering him.

      • Kalima says:

        I forgot to say that trump had already wiped his arse with it on several occasions before he allowed Nunes to play with it. As if his nose wasn’t brown enough to begin with.

        Yes, I should have noticed that glazed neutered look in his eyes. Wonder if trump keeps them in a glass jar on his desk in the Oval Office to remind Nunes of who’s the boss?

        • AdLib says:

          Kalima, I really do seem to recognize who Nunes is, the “slow” kid in school who tried to be teacher’s pet in every class.

          He really does seem dim. A prime example of failing upwards, the primary process in the GOP.

  4. pinkpantheroz says:

    SO THAT’s what he was doing on the WH lawn! All is now explained. I do think he is very like a cockapoo. He is so blindingly loyal to his Master. Poor doggie.

    • AdLib says:

      PPO, someone left the door to the Capitol open and Nunes ran out. They chased him around the WH lawn where he took a break from running to drag his butt along the grass, then bolted into the WH where he did tricks with intel for biscuits. Then he sat up in front of the press and when Trump yelled, “Speak!” he did!

      Who’s a good boy?! Not you!

      Where’s a rolled up newspaper?

  5. Fuzzy Dunlop says:

    HAHAHA! too funny, Ad. Trump could open a kennel with all the willing lapdogs he has sucking up to him now. Chris Christie has just become another one, because “The Donald,” just threw him a bone.

    But hey, for a soulless money grubbing wanna-be elitist, lapdogs are a necessary accessory.

    Is America great again?

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