comey

FBI Director James Comey sent a letter to Congress today to inform them that he is opening an investigation into a ham sandwich that was found in disgraced ex-Congressman Anthony Weiner’s refrigerator. Comey explained in his letter that in pursuit of transparency, he felt it his duty to inform Congress immediately.

LETTER FROM FBI DIRECTOR JAMES COMEY TO CONGRESS

Dear Messrs Charimen:

I am writing to inform you that data was discovered on Mr. Weiner’s computer that is pertinent to our investigation into Secretary Hillary Clinton’s private email server, Anthony Weiner’s sexting and scary clown sightings.

It is pertinent but may not be significant, it is related but may be meaningless, it is tangential but could be a big bag of intestinal gas. So of course, a jarring announcement about this that could impact the election and change the course of history seemed appropriate.

In one of the browser windows on Mr. Weiner’s computer, an online deli menu was found. We have not as yet ascertained if the ham sandwich in his refrigerator was ordered from that deli menu or involved in any of the previously mentioned investigations but following our protocol, we have opened a secret investigation into the ham sandwich that we won’t tell anyone about in order to protect its integrity. No one will know about it. It will be top secret and confidential, revealing the existence of this investigation would be just as unethical as keeping confidential information on a private server. So we would never do that. Ever. Promise.

A determination about the involvement of the ham sandwich in our other investigations will be made as judiciously as possible and should take at least until lunch time. Due to my previous testimony before Congress that I would not be investigating any luncheon meats for potential criminal activity, I thought it important to update your committees about this swiftly.

Also, I will begin investigating potential involvement by erection enhancing pills due to another email discovered on Mr. Weiner’s computer. I will lead the FBI in taking a real hands on approach to this, it is the type of thing the FBI spends all day handling as a top priority which we hope is more evident now than ever.

Sincerely,

FBI Director James Comey

p.s. Trump/Pence 2016!!!

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Kalima
Admin

FBI/Giuliani monkey business. If Clinton is a “pathological liar”, then what does that make trump?

—-

Meet Donald Trump’s Top FBI Fanboy

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2016/11/03/meet-donald-trump-s-top-fbi-fanboy.html

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Kalima
Admin

So this is the repub October surprise?

Comey informs Congress, a no no covered in the Hatch Act, and the repubs in Congress fall over each other, peeing their pants to hiss it out to the press.

If as I believe this is nothing but an attempt to help the pathetic repubs in the election, Comey should immediately resign when he comes up without a smoking gun and just holding Weiner’s wiener pix in his hand. Seems to me that some powerful repubs got to him after the last investigation cleared Clinton of intentional wrongdoing. I want to see nothing more than this pile of shit blowing up in their faces.

In Other News:

Trump investigations of the last 40 years. Why isn’t this all over the news, and who is the real crook here?

What Clinton did was an arogant mistake of misguided entitlement. What trump has been involved in for four decades, is criminal.

Hey repubs! Now get your hypogeal existence the hell off my lawn, and never sh#t where you eat.

Ham sandwich anyone?

As usual, AdLib, the graphic is priceless. He looks positively pained. So he should be.

—-

A quick review of 40 years of investigations into Donald Trump and his businesses

https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/the-fix/wp/2016/10/31/a-quick-review-of-40-years-of-investigations-into-donald-trumps-businesses/

—-

Donald Trump’s Companies Destroyed Emails in Defiance of Court Orders

http://www.newsweek.com/2016/11/11/donald-trump-companies-destroyed-emails-documents-515120.html

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pinkpantheroz
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I am assuming that MI6 will be investigated for any involvement in the English Mustard found in the vicinity. There are no indications as yet that the ham and the mustard combined in any illegal fashion, but it would be wrong not to bring it up, especially with the sensitivity around Brexit.

Oh, and perhaps the Bundes Kriminal Amt can check out the sauerkraut and pickle.

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Kalima
Admin

There is nothing quite as decadently satisfying as homemade Sauerkraut mit Eisbein. Does that make me ein Kriminal?

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Fuzzy Dunlop
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Fuzzy Dunlop

Schweinshaxe?

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Kalima
Admin

Absolutely Herr Fuzzy. Traditionally it is pig’s trotter, but as a chlld I wouldn’t eat it imagining pigs without feet, so my grandmother used loin just for me. The roasted Knusprige Schweinshaxe is the best. Pity I’m going to England instead of Germany. I just made myself hungry. 🙂

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