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AdLib On May - 11 - 2016


As Earth was invaded today by the alien and monstrous Parademon shock troops serving Lord Darkseid, the tyrannical and ruthless dictator of the fiery planet Apokolips, Donald Trump followed up his praise of Darkseid as “the kind of strong leader that America needs” by offering him the role of his Vice-President.

Darkseid was surprisingly flattered by the offer and after wiping blood spattered flesh and bone off of his gloves, firmly shook Trump’s hand to seal the deal.”All humans shall bow down before us and serve us or be ground into dust. We will bring destruction to your civilization and massive firepits will ring your planet, turning it into a New Apokolips, forever burning in tribute to your overlords!” Darkseid declared which Trump followed up by saying, “And who will pay for it? Mexico!”

Trump lauded Darkseid’s similar disinterest in Political Correctness. “I mean, does this guy tell it like it is, or what? Aren’t we sick of Political Correctness? Believe me, if he says he’s going to transform the human race into horribly deformed and tortured slaves, he’s not just saying it like Washington politicians, believe me!”

Many in the Republican establishment, despite witnessing their own constituents and even family members being torn to shreds by Darkseid’s bloodthirsty Parademons, are continuing to get behind Trump and his new Trump/Darkseid ticket.

“Hey, I’ll tell you one thing, it sure beats having Hillary as President,” commented Trump supporter, Alabama  Senator Jeff Sessions while wading knee deep through the bloody carnage of tens of thousands of dismembered Alabama citizens. “Can you imagine what her liberal policies would do to the people of this country?!”

Outgoing Florida Senator and former Trump rival Marco Rubio took a break from a helicopter tour of the massive firepit incinerating the entire population of Miami, to explain why even he stands behind the Trump/Darkeid ticket, “I made a vow early on in the primary to support the eventual Republican nominee and I feel I owe it to the remaining citizens of Florida, no matter how few, to keep my word.”

After consulting with Darkseid, Trump has “evolved” on a number of issues that he has been assuring his supporters he would put into effect if elected President. “When I said I would give cuts to all Americans, the liberal media of course twisted the meaning all around into ‘Oh no, he’s gonna cut taxes so much it’s gonna make the deficit go up!’ No, I said cuts and I meant cuts, mostly to the neck. We need jobs and this new policy I’ve worked out with my running mate, will end unemployment forever! We’ll create millions of new available jobs!”

Trump boasted that by his ticket exterminating 99% of lower wage jobs…and the Americans that do them, all Americans will soon be one percenters. “This is what capitalism is all about, letting those with the smarts and the loyalty of armies of mutated demons rise to the top,” Trump stated. “America is the land of opportunity and neither I nor Darkseid will rest until we’ve proven to all Americans that everyone has the chance to become a psychopathic tyrant in America with an unquenchable thirst for wealth and power, you just have to want it bad enough!”

Confronted by claims that while speaking like a populist, he is actually participating in an assault on the country’s democratic system and the Constitutional rights of all Americans to life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness, Trump laughed, “Really? You’re going to focus on that when Hillary Clinton was married to a man who had affairs on her twenty years ago? Why don’t we talk about the things that really matter today?!”

There have been reports of Republican support for Trump dwindling in polls but subsequent reports have pointed out that those results were skewed by Darkseid’s materialization of a black hole in the Deep South that sucked in much of the population of Mississippi, Louisiana and Arkansas.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

13 Responses so far.

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  1. Kalima says:

    I worry about trump but more than that I worry about the widening divisions
    in the U.S. How any sane person could be against universal healthcare, raising the minimum wage, extending Medicaid and taxing the rich based on income is not computing. More scarier than what a trump presidency would do to America, is what Americans would do to themselves in the name of miscomprehension, fear and misguided hate.

    Will America recover from this election shambles in one piece? I certainly hope so.

    Trump doesn’t scare me. It’s the people around him who will be prepared to back him that do.

    • AdLib says:

      Kalima, I don’t think most Trump supporters are even thinking about the issues, it’s all about emotion to them, they are supporting him because it’s their way of saying, “Screw you!” To the establishment.

      The messed up thing is that it’s because of these same hate voters that Repubs control Congress and have blocked government doing much to make their lives better.

      People who make decisions based on emotion instead of reason are flat out stupid in their decisions. In this case, to respond to the idiots they put in control of Congress, they want to elect a lunatic.

      America will actually be in better shape after this election than it is now. This is the high watermark for RW insanity and now that the loons will finally get to have their pick for Repub nom and lose enormously, their clout will be hugely diminished.

      And with a Dem President and Senate, we’ll have a moderate to left leaning Supreme Court that can reverse Citizens United and so many other horrible decisions that have damaged this country.

      We just have to make it through this very ugly GE that’s beginning…but we will.

  2. SueInCa says:

    Thanks, Adlib, tonight my dreams will be of a Trump with blood dripping from his fangs and that yellow hair all whacked out lol.

    A little extreme but for some, it would feel like that if Trump wins. Scary thought but if the left does not get it’s act together, that scary thought could become a reality.

    Good analogy, more truth than fiction.

    • AdLib says:

      Hey Sue!

      Well, you wouldn’t be alone if Trump gives you nightmares.

      It is astounding to me how all of these Repub politicians can just shrug off all their hysteria against Trump being their nominee then March lockstep behind him with no conscience over who they are empowering. Yes, I know how extreme party loyalty has become to that bunch but to demonstrate a total lack of will and principles, to support someone they know is unfit intellectually and emotionally to hav the most powerful office in the country, just makes them look like what great Nazis they would have made.

      And that’s scarier than blood dripping fangs to me!

      • SueInCa says:

        I am sure I am not alone, Adlib. The only place I might be is in the final blue vote lol. I sure hope things turn out better than they sound right now with Bernie and Hillary supporters. I am not a Bernie or Bust person but voted for him in our primary. I just know that I will vote for the winner in the general but many from both sides are claiming they will not. SMH. Trump is just too dangerous to contemplate.

        I would sneak away to a foreign country but they would still want their cut of my 401k lol. I cannot even believe Republicans are going to march in lock step with him, the crazies are taking over the asylum.

  3. kesmarn says:

    AdLib, terrific article. Today the closest thing to real life comic book characters we have in America would probably be “professional” wrestlers. (If you don’t count politicians, that is.)

    Today my son sent me links to a couple of YouTube videos in which Trump was playing the character that he has played in the WWE for a while now. (Not that my son is a Trump fan! He has been for Bernie since day one.) Honestly — there was no difference between the cartoon image he presented there and the persona he adopted for the GOP debates!

    His “truth” is really even stranger than his fiction. And that’s pretty scary…

    • AdLib says:

      Kes, I’m confused. This isn’t video from a GOP primary debate?

      Trump is as real in a WWE ring as he is in a Presidential campaign and yet the yokels (and GOP followers) buy into the act hook, line and sinker. It’s sad, what it says about way too many Americans, saps and the blindly faithful to the GOP.

      Fortunately, it is a minority of voters.

    • Kalima says:

      How bizarre! His campaign mirrors the video to a tee. He entered the presidential race as if it were a tv competition show. His prize, prestige, acknowledgment and business contracts to make more money, but how do you direct and produce a win when most of the country and the world hates you?

      The staged video is just as pathetically tacky and embarrassing as his run for office. How do I wash my brain and remove this foul taste from my mouth? The man is pure, unadulterated kitsch.

      I wonder how many republicans get on their knees every night to pray that he doesn’t win?

  4. gyp46 says:

    Seems in the political class principles have no place! So many of the runners (17 or 20) I forget, had it right about Trump during the debates and now are falling over themselves to kiss his ring. Reminds me of the a** kissers in pre WW2 Germany licking Hitler’s boots to keep themselves relevant. Good one adlib, again!!

    • AdLib says:

      Yes gyp46, that’s at the heart of my satire. Repubs have zero principles, they honestly declared how unfit Trump was to be president but now that he seems sure to get the nomination, they throw away all their alleged “principles” and are vowing to support a man they know should not be President.

      Repubs are party-first and forget everything else. They have no principles, they’d vote for the Antichrist even if he admitted he would destroy them all…as long as he claimed to be Republican.

      The GOP has become a death cult.

  5. pinkpantheroz says:

    Ad, I hear that Arnold Terminator may get an offer! Watered down version of your lad, but might be less appalling to Californians!

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