Republicans Explain Why They Support Their Favorite Candidate

For many people whose childhood hobbies didn’t include glue sniffing and playing the drums with their head, it’s been hard to understand why so many people in the Republican Party are supporting such candidates as Donald Trump and Ben Carson.

So, in the pursuit of bringing people together through understanding, PlanetPOV has interviewed a variety of Republicans to share their perspectives on why they support the GOP candidates that they do.

SUPPORTERS OF DONALD TRUMP:

1. Cindy White: “Like a lot of my friends, I’m sick of politicians telling me what I want to hear then going to DC and ignoring their promises. What I like about Mr. Trump is that he says the things I want to hear and one of those things is that he’ll keep his promises!”
2. Mike Travers: “Our country is being destroyed by poor people sponging off our government. I may be 72, retired, disabled and living off of Welfare, Social Security, Section 8 Housing and Medicare but I’m not too weak to stand up with Trump against those lousy takers in this country!”
3. Lonnie Rawlings: “We finally have someone running for President who isn’t owned by the wealthy. Instead, as President, Trump will do what he wants to do, not what some egotistical, media hungry billionaire would want done.”
4. Scott Harvey: “I like Trump because like me and all of my klan, he doesn’t care about being politically correct. I think the majority of voters, whether they’re s****s, c****s, n*****s, k***s,c****s or f*****s, also appreciate that and would vote for him for President.”
5. Karl Yostremsky: “I’m someone who cares a lot about issues but don’t bore me yappin’ about all them details. That’s why Trump is right for me, he’ll tell you he’ll make you rich if he gets to be President and that he’ll crush China, Russia and Iran and keep them damn illegals out but he don’t confuse you with tellin’ you how he’d do it. Don’t bother me explainin’ how somethin’ would work, that’s your job, just promise me you’ll make my dick bigger and that I’ll be able to fly and you got my vote just on the issues!”

BEN CARSON SUPPORTERS:

1. Clark Strauss: “I’ve been a fan of Ben Carson for some time because he is so smart and has a real gift for seeing things how things really are. Whether it’s when he said that Obamacare is the worst thing that’s happened to America since slavery or that we live in a Nazi society, he’s a man of reason.”
2. Tim Nutter: “Carson is a brain surgeon so he knows how people think. That’s why he knows that being gay is a choice and why he called Obama a “psychopath”. It’s time we had a black guy in the White House…who’s not a psychopath.”
3. Christopher Matthews: The brilliant Ben Carson should be President. Who else recognized the similarities between our Founders and ISIS? And the similarities between gays, pedophilia and bestiality? Not to mention how taking AP History classes could lead to joining ISIS. He’s brilliant, brilliant!”
4. Don Barnes: “He proved that he has what it takes to be President when he insulted Obama at a prayer breakfast. Carson says his role model is Jesus and that’s exactly what Jesus would do. Along with hating gays, women and Latinos.”
5. David Duke: “Dr. Ben Carson reflects the same views on race that I have and I have to say, it’s a relief to see a black Republican denigrate black people for a change. We’ve come a long way, climbed a tall mountain to get to the point where racists can be judged by the content of their racism, not by the color of their skin. Carson 2016!”

JEB BUSH SUPPORTERS:

1. Maggie Helms: “I’m not the kind of person who likes to follow the crowd or popular trends. So I’m supporting Jeb!”
2. Henry Loomis: Everyone knows that the third sequel to a movie is the best. Godfather 3? Superman 3? See what I mean? Bush 1 was a good ride, Bush 2 was a wild rollercoaster, Bush 3 will be like the end of the world! And Bush 4 and 5? Jenna and Barbara, I can’t wait!!!”
3. Allen Finch: “I’m elderly with a heart condition, I can’t go for anything too exciting or competitive so Jeb naturally appeals to me. I especially like how tired and nervous he always looks, he reminds me of me.”
4. Rita Norris: “I like how flexible Jeb Bush is in his policies. He can be prejudiced against Latino babies one day but change to being against Asian babies the next day when it makes more political sense. I’m eagerly awaiting what race of babies he’ll hate next, my bet is Armenian!”
5. Nick Hades: “When you think about how close Jeb’s brother came to truly destroying the economies and stability of the world, it was such a disappointment. He nearly did it! We’re just one Bush away from The Apocalypse, we can’t miss this opportunity. Here in Hades, all you see are “Jeb!” signs. Hell For Bush 2016!”