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AdLib On June - 8 - 2015


In light of the molestation allegations against Dennis Hastert and the admission by prominent Religious Right Republicans, The Duggar family, of molestations committed by Josh Duggar, the Republican Party has decided to deal with these and future incidents by Republicans that will inevitably occur, by using a bit of political judo. Instead of defending those in their party that prey on children, they have enlisted marketing and propaganda veteran Frank Luntz to help them re-brand child molestation from being an ugly crime to something that’s just a bad choice, a mistake or the fault of little girls who lure Republicans into abusing them by going to sleep.

This effort will be followed up with the GOP inserting a plank into their platform (which is fine among consenting platforms) that calls for the de-criminalization of such acts.

“The first thing we need to do is change the public’s perception of this and take away the unfair stigma,” Luntz explained. “We want to come up with a more positive term for ‘molestation’, that word just exudes negativity. We’re spitballing a few ideas now as replacements. There’s ‘Mistaken Feelings’, ‘Confused Hands’ and ‘Oops Baby Baby’.”

Luntz proceeded to detail the broader campaign he is building. “We want to do a Caitlyn Jenner type of thing to normalize ‘Mistaken Feelings’, where we have someone like Denny Hastert on the cover of Vanity Fair, coming out and telling the world that he’s proud of who he is no matter who hates him for being him. We’re going to produce a series of commercials that show ‘Mistaken Feelings’ is not so unusual and something that’s been with us throughout history and a part of many of our greatest religions. We’ve also been putting together a list of theme songs for this campaign including, ‘Feelings’, ‘More Than a Feeling’, ‘Hooked On a Feeling’, ‘Invisible Touch’, and a few other contenders.”

When asked why Republicans believe that sexually molesting children, when done by Republicans like Josh Duggar and allegedly by Dennis Hastert, should be understood by the public, Lutz replied, “Americans have to remember that Republicans are the ones with family values, we believe in the family, we stand behind our families…maybe too close sometimes but that’s because we love them. To someone who can’t put themselves in his shoes, Josh Duggar may look like someone who was a sexually mature teenager preying on five year old girls but come on, should we condemn the very human trait of curiosity and ignore that those five year olds were sleeping in sexually suggestive positions? As to Dennis Hastert, my understanding is that he was going over and above as a wrestling coach to train young men how to get out of even the most uncomfortable of holds.”

A first draft of the text that will appear in the pro-molestation plank of the 2016 GOP platform was provided to PlanetPOV and reads as follows:

“Our children are our future. Our future scientists, teachers and strippers. We should never let anything create a barrier between us and the next generation, especially the cute ones. Neither government nor statutory ages should dictate to us, as responsible and religious white people with moral values, who we can or can’t fondle. Therefore, as they have been and continue to be  used to unfairly attack Republicans, we wholeheartedly support the repeal of all laws that criminalize the touching of children. Especially since they’re asking for it anyway.”

We are waiting to hear from the 2016 Republican candidates to go on record in support or opposition of this provision. So far, all candidates have responded that they will get back with us soon but they are currently spending time with their families.

Written by AdLib

My motto is, "It is better to have blogged and lost hours of your day, than never to have blogged at all."

32 Responses so far.

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  1. jjgravitas says:

    Child molesters murderers and thieves are perfectly OK with the GOP, they endorse it all. But homos, blacks, Latinos and women should shut up and stay in the back room while the puffed-up idiots perform for the mics and cameras. The Log Cabin Republicans have been silent through all of this; I’d like to know their opinions on this.

  2. goleafsgo says:

    Hi, AdLib!
    Is this one of your satirical posts?
    Is this for real? I am flummoxed and in disbelief that this is really what the Republicans are doing! Wow! just …Wow! What a bunch of sick puppies.

  3. AdLib says:

    One of those things, Frank Luntz coincidentally appeared on The Nightly Show last night. Part of me was expecting him to promote the ‘Mistaken Feelings’ campaign.

    • sillylittleme says:

      How full of shit was he? And what did Larry ask him? I’ll try to catch it On Demand…

      NT: I caught them shaking hands, I always watch Chris Hardwick…

  4. LightningJoe says:

    What’s hilarious about this is that if a (gasp!) Liberal were to propose such rebranding of a crime for the benefit of the criminal, the GOP and FUX Noise would be all over it gasping at the sheer affrontery of the proposal.

    But of course Liberals never would propose such a thing. What’s a mystery, is why any Republican would either… Or maybe it’s NOT a mystery; but then one has to assume that they WANT to be able to get away with such things…

    Frank “That Word Just Exudes Negativity” Luntz is the perfect man for this job, though… couldn’t think of a better.

    “maybe too close sometimes but that’s because we love them”

    A rebranding worthy of the New Coke Award… that is, a swift kick in the backside…

    • AdLib says:

      LightningJoe, that’s the truth! What this proves is that the RW Repubs really possess are conditional morals. Only when it’s not one of them, is an act horrible. When one of their own is a child molester, a crook, a racist, even responsible for the deaths of others, their knee jerk reaction is to defend them, grasping at even the weakest of straws or trying to portray the perp as a victim (yes, the true outrage is that public records were legally released that exposed Josh as molesting his sisters).

      The GOP has just re-branded themselves into “The New Joke”.

  5. Nirek says:

    Ad, out of pure disgust, I have avoided this issue as much as possible. Hastart seems to have made it past the statute of limitations ( I don’t think there should be) I’m not sure if Duggar has. Either way they are both creeps.

    I find it hard to believe the republican party has “family values” the way they have embraced Duggar. As I said disgusting!

    • AdLib says:

      Nirek, Hastert has made it past the statute of limitations on the abuse but not on the financial crimes. He is being prosecuted and though justice is hard to find nowadays in our system, especially when it comes to the wealthy and powerful, we can at least hope he finds himself behind bars after his legacy has been rightfully destroyed.

      As for the RW Repubs who are standing behind the Duggars and trying to normalize pedophelia when it’s committed by their own, they have lost any legit claim to morality.

  6. pinkpantheroz says:

    A Masterpiece, Ad! Everyone has said what I’ve thought, but so much better, Congrats and send it out to the World!

  7. kesmarn says:

    A terrific piece, AdLib. Sometimes dark humor is the only way to deal effectively with dark attitudes and actions. Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert are right there with you!

    I watched a part of the FOX interview with Ma and Pa Duggar and it was genuinely surreal. Jim Bob actually said that Josh allegedly came to him and Michelle THREE TIMES and admitted — tearfully — to this behavior. What kind of parents don’t protect their daughters and allow this to happen over and over before even beginning to take action?? What difference do Josh’s tears make when it’s obvious that he has no intention of changing his behavior? A little dark humor flickered through my own mind when I heard that — as in — the fact that the Little Duggar had fine-tuned his act down to a regular routine: molest, confess, boo-hoo-hoo, molest, confess, boo-hoo-hoo, etc., etc. ad infinitum and ad nauseam.

    And — speaking of nausea — don’t you have to have the emesis basin handy when you watch those episodes that led up to Josh’s wedding? The ones where he carefully refrained from even holding hands with his bride-to-be until they were officially engaged? And then the first kiss was reserved for their wedding day. GAG!! How could his parents and siblings sit there with those simpering expressions on their faces when they knew full well what had gone on in that household?

    The damage done to these kids is going to take many years to repair. Some of them are so repressed that they’re STILL denying that they were victimized by him. Instead, they do as they’ve been taught. They blame the evil “outside world” for noticing their hypocrisy and lifting up the rug where everything had been swept under. (I absolutely refuse to believe that these girls “slept through” everything he did to them as they’re claiming either. Not unless he put 15 Ambien tablets in their Ovaltine at bedtime. Which — somehow — wouldn’t surprise me.)

    Virtually every family has its share of problems and oddball members, so I don’t want to come across as feeling vastly superior to the Duggars and their fellow fundies. But the difference is in how these things are handled. (Which was not well in the Duggars’ case.) And the great majority of us mere mortals wouldn’t have the almighty brass to put ourselves out there on national television as role-models every week after something like this.

    The cynical side of me sees all this scrambling that they’re doing now — all this granting of access and interview time to FOX — as a last-ditch desperate attempt to save their financial empire. They’ve gotten so used to NOT having to work for a living that I think they’re petrified at the prospect of having to do what they tell everyone else to do — go out and get a real job.

    But — hey — I hear Chik-Fil-A is hiring!! They’re just as intolerant of LGBT people as the Duggar clan.

    Meanwhile — can you imagine what would have been the reaction if it had ever come to light that Barack Obama had done something like this in his teen years? How many passionate pleas for forgiveness would we have heard on FOX “News” then?

    • sillylittleme says:

      Kes, and there is always Hobby Lobby for the female members of the family. They too have some putrid intolerances.

      • kesmarn says:

        Good point, SLM! And Plan C might be Abercrombie and Fitch. As long as the girls don’t wear the hijab, they might just fit right in around there too. (As long as they don’t gain any weight.)

    • AdLib says:

      Kes, thank you for the very cool props!

      So Josh came to his parents three times and they never contacted the police or protected their many daughters from him. Where is child protective services? They are unfit parents.

      The Duggars reflect the exploitation of religion so of course, their son exploited it to get away with horrible crimes by “repenting”…then going back to it three times.

      I wonder if the dishonesty of the sexual repression, Josh “saving” touching and kissing his wife for his wedding, says even more about what these religious extremists push their children to do by instilling repression into them.

      And as you say, the family-wide dishonesty, all of them knowing what happened but hiding it to be on tv and make money, how much more evil does it get than that? You’ve got most of the 7 Deadly Sins (and counting) embodied by this mentally ill family.

      And their howling that the real sin is that all of this was made public by the media? Sick in its cynical calculation.

      We all know what would have happened if the same situation occurred in the Obama family (it never could for many reasons, especially, his not having a son or being a sociopath).

      I don’t see how the RW could have more thoroughly discredited any morality based attack they ever make in the future.

      “As supporters of child molestation, we find it morally offensive that Obama won’t say he believes in American Exceptionalism!”

      Now, they’ve got nothing.

  8. sillylittleme says:

    Ad, what we all must realize is that Jesus died for their sins so they may as well sin at will…

    Sick people. I wish we’d take mental health more seriously in this country.

    • Nirek says:

      SLM, I agree the faux “Christians” seem to think that since Jesus died for their sins, they can sin all they want. Just look at their lies about certain people and their actions. Your point is well taken.

    • AdLib says:

      slm, I doubt they can even say “Jesus” without lightning striking them.

      Most of us do take mental health seriously, that’s why we criticize Republicans.

  9. Kalima says:

    Right on the money, AdLib.

    At 14, a normal child knows the difference between right and wrong. The worst thing after the actual molestation, is having parents who condone it, think that the molested child is lying, or choose to look the other way.

    Parents are supposed to protect their children. All of their children. One sick rule for faux Christians, and another worldwide rule of right and wrong held by most of the rest of us.

    The Duggar family is an abomination as are all those who are making excuses for them by using God as a shield.


    • LightningJoe says:

      Kalima, I’m not sure it’s fair to blame someone raised in this family, and in their Church, for violating “normality.” Especially if they were only 14 at the time.

      I think it is only obvious, that Josh had a warped idea of sexual issues at the time.

      • Kalima says:

        Hi, LightningJoe.

        If you read my comment again, I’m actually blaming the parents and their lack of responsibility to their children. They failed every child involved, even the 14 year old boy.

    • Nirek says:

      Kalima, they lack integrity. Integrity noun
      adherence to moral and ethical principles; soundness of moral character; honesty.

    • AdLib says:

      Kalima, I can’t say I’m surprised by the lack of morals and responsibility of the Duggar parents, their commitment to the Quiverfull cult and the simple logic that two people can’t supervise or properly parent 19 children.

      What Josh did is horrendous and the Duggar parents, by protecting him from the police and justice and not protecting their daughters, babysitter and the other girls he assaulted, are plainly co-conspirators. And this campaign of theirs, using their daughters who were victimized, to try and convince America that pedophilia is just a natural thing curious boys do, is disgusting.

      No, a natural 14 year old boy would never sexually attack 5 year olds. A sick 14 year old would and his sick parents would cover it up then think they are the victims.

      If there is a hell, they better have 19 and counting openings.

      • Kalima says:

        The nerve of these perverts holding an interview excusing their son because of his age at the time. The mother looked half crazed and I couldn’t watch to the end because of the bile rising to the back of my throat. They should all be arrested, and yes, the daughters defending the son was the most sickening thing because of the brain washing perpetrated by parents who have been anything but.

        Had this been anyone but Fundie nut jobs, the msm would have crucified them and left them there for the birds to peck at.

        That this creep now has a family of his own is really scary.

        • AdLib says:

          Kalima, they are desperate to keep their show and its money rolling in. They would french kiss Satan and sacrifice double digits of their kids to him to keep their show on the air.

          The MSM outrage and attack machine is primarily operated by the RW so as you say, it is amazing how the MSM has been relatively reserved about condemning the parents for covering up a crime to protect the criminal and subjecting their children to abuse…even convincing them to believe their molestation wasn’t really molestation.

          Even so, these sick people are finished in the mainstream media…but never underestimate the psychos at Fox News, I can imagine them hiring Josh or his parents to be their Family Values correspondent(s).

  10. choicelady says:

    I think you have totally defined the GOP RW Dominionist mindset: we are ‘born again’ so can do anything we want because we TALK a good game. Actions? Well, back to that ‘saved’ thingy. Everyone else is evil, demonic, worthless. Only reason Caitlin Jenner gets no squawk from us, the GOP, is because he/she is a Republican, always was and apparently always will be. Since she is one of us…crickets. Josh is a good family man -- in every sense of that term, right?

    Life is good if you’re one of The Chosen. And we, the GOP, don’t mean Jews. It’s clear God made a little mistake there, and we’re setting it right. Ahhh. It’s so nice not having a whit of conscience. We’re the GOP. We don’t need to.

    • AdLib says:

      Hey CL, yep, to these types, simply proclaiming that they are Fundie/Dominionists is like a Get Out of Jail/Hell Free card to them. They can do or justify the most horrendous things and they just have to flash their card to be righteous and on their way to heaven.

      Had a black or Muslim or gay man been on the news the same way Josh Duggar was, as having been a serial pedophile/child molester, does anyone have any doubt that these same molestation apologists would be frothing at the mouth in hatred and saying the worst possible things about them.

      The truth is, many of these types are among the most awful people in the world but they have no guilt over it, they don’t worry about what they’re doing as being wrong even though they commit the same acts as those they see as evil.

      The self-righteous have no need for morality or conscience. They are de facto sociopaths.

    • AdLib says:

      Hey CL, yep, to these types, simply proclaiming that they are Fundie/Dominionists is like a Get Out of Jail/Hell Free card to them. They can do or justify the most horrendous things and they just have to flash their card to be righteous and on their way to heaven.

      Had a black or Muslim or gay man been on the news the same way Josh Duggar was, as having been a serial pedophile/child molester, does anyone have any doubt that these same molestation apologists would be frothing at the mouth in hatred and saying the worst possible things about them?

      The truth is, many of these types are among the most awful people in the world but they have no guilt over it, they don’t worry about what they’re doing as being wrong even though they commit the same acts as those they see as evil.

      The self-righteous have no need for morality or conscience. They are de facto sociopaths.

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