sarah

In response to Russian President Vladimir Putin writing an op-ed in the New York Times today, Sarah Palin has written the following op-ed in the most popular Russian newspaper, Pravda.

Hi, my name is Sarah Palin from the USA in America, you might recognize me as the woman who’s staring backatcha from her backyard. Yep, that’s me! I’m writin’ ya cause I speak for real Americans who feel kinda like your Russian President, Mr. Puddin’, that America shouldn’t get in a war with the nation of Cereal while we have a Muslim President here in our country.

It’s crazy that we’d bomb that nice Mr. DeSade in Cereal when he’s helpin’ to protect Christians from being killed. Obama attacks him cause he’s killed 100,000 innocent men, women and children but talkin’ as someone who is a dedicated pro-lifer, sometimes ya hafta kill babies who aren’t Christian to save those that are. I know Jesus would feel the same way.

We have so much in common with you folks and your President Puddin’. We both see America under Obama as our enemy, we’re jealous of your laws that make bein’ gay illegal, you guys get to have a leader that doesn’t need a fair vote from the majority to get elected and you can jail anyone who speaks out! Jeez, if only we had the democracy you do!

As for your talks with John Kerry about gettin’ Cereal to give up their gassy weapons, lemme tell ya somethin’ just between us…ya can’t trust him! He’s workin’ for Obama who’s a communist! And you know what liars and criminals they are! So don’t be so quick to agree to anything, especially if it makes Obama look good.

We all want piece. The more piece we have, the less piece evil Muslims will have. And I’m not tryin’ ta be mean to them or anything but look at who they are. They are religious extremists who want to force their beliefs on everyone in their country, intolerant of other folks who have different views, they take advantage of folks who aren’t well educated to turn them into mindless followers to fight for their cause, I’ll tellya, me and my fellow Tea Partiers just don’t understand it.

Even though a great man who shoulda been President, Mitt Romney, said that Russia is our greatest geopolitical threat…the enemy of my country’s President is my friend. I think this is a real opportunity for those on the right in America…real Americans…to come together with Russians as partners in humiliating our President however we can and making America look weak and screwed up. And when it comes to stopping killing and war in Cereal, maybe that’s not the best idea. I mean, as Christians who live their lives based on the teachings of Jesus, The King of Peace, don’t we all want the continent of Arabia in flames so The Apocalypse will come and Jesus can finally return to take Republican Christians to heaven?

That’s all for now, gotta get to Facebook now to say something really outrageous (gotta pay the bills!) so as you say in Russia, adios!

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kesmarn
Admin

WOW…AdLib, I posted the link to this article on Facebook and it was picked up by a woman named Karen Teegarden, who founded a group called “Women United.” It has 30,000 members and she passed the link on to them with the following comment:

“I have avoided posting anything Sarah Palin but this is just so well done!”

You just reached out to 30,000 liberal women! 30,001, if you count Mrs. Lib!

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agrippa
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agrippa

The send up of Palin is excellent. Quite funny.
Palin really is a ‘self parody’.

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UncleB
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UncleB

Some Palin One Liners:

— I know all about Iran. I ran for Mayor and then I ran for Governor!
— I can’t comment on the Kyoto Accord as I’ve only ever seen the Honda.
— I wouldn’t want to go over to Kabul. I’m perfectly happy with my DirectTV.
— I think that the drop in the price of stock is a good thing, as now people will be able to make their soups cheaper.

— I’ve got a four month old, I’m about to be a grandmother, and I have to change McCain’s diapers too?
— I’ve been a fan of John McCain for years, even since before Kelly replaced Kathie Lee on his show.
— When the reporter asked me about Iraq, I thought he was eye-ing my rack.
— I know how to deal with Hamas. With a side of eggs.

— I know all about Russia. I tried to get my brother in law to play their Roulette.
— EU? That’s what I say whenever Trig pukes up.
— I warned Obama not to mess with me or I’ll get my brother in law to Taser him.
— I have a great Alaskan recipe for Bear Stearns.

— I don’t think that Americans should elect Barack Hussein Obama, a man who is related to Saddam!
— When I’m Vice President I won’t discuss government top-secrets on Yahoo Mail. Hotmail is much more secure.
— Of course I know about the Gaza Strip. I had to wrap one on Todd’s injured arm.
— I’m highly qualified as a diplomat: I have a high school diplomat.

— I’m against free trade. I think other countries should pay for our products.
— I support government bailouts. After all, as Governor I bailed out of that damn bridge.
— I oppose the Lisbon Treaty. I believe women should marry men.
— I am well equipped for international diplomacy as I speak in many tongues.

— I thought it was terrible that the Bank of America Lynched Merrill!
— Palestinians? Is that what my supporters are calling themselves?
— The CNN reporter asked me about Ahmadinejad, so I said Gesundheit.
— I’m so happy that John asked me to accompany him to Vienna, Ohio. That makes three international capitals that I’ve visited!

— I believe illegal aliens should be deported and their flying saucers impounded.
— I’m glad the Italian government has shut down their local Al Qaeda group: Alitalia.
— I don’t think the U.S. should get involved in Kashmir. I prefer Mohair.

: )

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MurphTheSurf3
Editor

Incredibly funny. Thanks for this. I don’t think I have had the pleasure of making your acquaintance here at the Planet. Are you new, or a regular I have just missed, or an occasional contributor? Whichever we need more wit and wisdom of this quality. Bravo.

I am copying and archiving it for future use. Ok with you?

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kesmarn
Admin

I may have said this before, AdLib, but I have to say it all over again: I think this just might be the best parody you’ve ever written. It really is just brilliant!

It has that wonderful “why-didn’t-I-think-of-that?” quality about it — the way all genius does. Once you see it, the truth of it is all so obvious. But it takes a real gift to pull that truth out of this truly bizarre situation we seem to have found ourselves in as a country.

My fondest hope is that this makes its way to the President. I think it would give him a much-needed laugh right about now. Kudos!

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UncleB
Member
UncleB

Nice one, Adlib!

[Somehow] reminds me of THIS one I posted years ago (when S. Palin was more prevalent as the Right Wing “Golden Girl”):

+++
Palin saying Grace at the dinner table (?):

“Dear Lord Baby Jesus, or, as our brothers in the South call you: Jesus, we thank you so much for this bountiful harvest of Domino’s, KFC, moose burgers, and the always delicious Taco Bell. I just want to take time to thank you for my family, my beautiful, beautiful, children Truck, Trigger and Bear Trap, or B.T., as we call him, and of course ME; who many consider a stone-cold fox, who if you could rate me on a scale of 1 to 100, I would easily be an A+.!

I also want to thank you for my new best friends at FOX News and especially Glenn Beck, who’s got my back no matter what…I also want to thank the suckers, um, I mean Teabaggers, um, I mean TEA Party Protesters, for their generous support; both morally and financially (but mostly financially). [*wink wink*]

Also, too, Dear Lord Baby Jesus…We hope that you can use your Baby Jesus powers to set America on a “Right” path once again; and to have mercy on the misguided efforts of that terrorist-loving, Communist, Socialist, Muslin Obama. Thank you Dear Tiny Infant Jesus…”

— [ Kudos to “Ricky Bobby” ]

: )

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MurphTheSurf3
Editor

PLEASE visit here more often….wonderful.

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Nirek
Member

Just too funny, Ad! Trouble is it is spot on and that is sad.

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MurphTheSurf3
Editor

It’s a masterpiece, I say!
They will cheer every word, every letter!
(John Adams, 1776, “The Egg”)

This is probably the BEST of the many pieces of satire and parody you have written…at least in my experience at the Planet.

It’s a laserlike scalpel aimed at the heart of dodocons everywhere and deserves the highest of compliments:

TO BE COPIED AND EMAILED TO EVERYONE ON OUR MAILING LISTS.

AD…please….you have to let me publish this at HP….it will SOOOOO rile up the trolls…..I know they are over Sarah as “their lady” but you just using her as the platform to zap the entire movement that propelled her into the spotlight and still trudges down the road now that she has been ditched.

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kesmarn
Admin

Well, Murph — I don’t know…HP is quite the pigpen of late. You might want to reconsider!

Do those swine “over there” really deserve the pearls that our own AdLib has created here? I think Aryana should be made to pony up the big bucks for this! A huge donation to the Planetary operating fund should do it. And AdLib might even let her ride on the corporate jet in return.

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Kalima
Admin

Well said dear kes, and thank you.

Btw, HP is a brown sauce that I put on my “Welsh Rarebit”.

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kesmarn
Admin

“Brown sauce” — that so totally works for HP. It’s pretty much one large vat of brown sauce, with the occasional unusually unpleasant lump that floats to the surface.

Oops…I’m afraid a little bit of nurse humor reappeared there. Apologies for the nausea factor in this comment. 😉

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Kalima
Admin

No apology needed kes, your point is well taken. 😆

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SueInCa
Member

LOL this is great Adlib. Unfortunately she would prob read it and say, why is that so funny? I am only speaking for “reel murikkkans”

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Kalima
Admin

😆 😆 😆 Bloody brilliant AdLib!

Way too early for more than a few sentences, so I’ll be back.

(Looks like Mr. Kasparov, you and I are on the same page about Putin, and my first reaction last night about the op-ed was, wtf..)

Garry Kasparov Tees Off on Putin and ‘The New York Times’

http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2013/09/12/garry-kasparov-tees-off-on-putin-and-the-new-york-times.html

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